Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Writers Quote Wednesday’s

I was thinking of what I’d contribute all day and into the night. Then the wine started flowing and I created this. ❤
This has been my submission for Writers quotes Wednesday’s for http://silverthreading.com. Even though it’s Thursday, maybe she’ll let me slide. 😉
Check out her amazing talent and all the creative ones who link up. Thank you.

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One liner Wednesday

After a particular stressful day I was standing in the kitchen hanging my head crying in the sink. My 3 year old comes up to me and says
“Mommy, don’t cry.”
“Ok honey, why not?”
“Because I so cute, I make you smile!”
And with that he wrapped his arms around me, and like a magician made my tears disappear. ❤️

This has been my submission for http://LindaGHill.com check out her one liner and all the talent that link up.

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Mama bear needs a break

Oh how I love my children, the sound of their laughter makes my heart do flip flops with delight. Seeing my oldest reading to his little brother tugs at my heart strings, and I’m so grateful for the love they share. I also love those tight cub hugs, and the I love you’s whispered in the dark, when I’m curled up with them for prayer time. What I don’t love is how messy they’ve been lately. I don’t just mean toys scattered everywhere, or boots, coats, and snow pants thrown on the floor. I mean how I’m treated like Mom the maid. I literally did a major clean on my house yesterday, I pulled out couches and chairs, vacuumed, mopped, and folded and put away laundry. If you’ve been reading my blog you’ll know that laundry is my nemesis and me and Mount washer are well acquainted. 😉When the Captain got home from hockey practice I literally went behind him and picked up his coat and hung it up, put his boots on the boot rack, made his bed, cleaned up his clothes after his shower, and the cupcake icing disaster in my kitchen. I thought to myself I’m his Mom, and I love him but when did I become his maid? So I told him how I felt and he apologized. Which I’m grateful for, but what am I teaching him by constantly cleaning up after him? I seriously don’t think in this day and age he’s going to find a wife that does that for him. I didn’t find a husband that does that for me!!! And no, I won’t be bitching about my hubby doesn’t do anything for me. Because it’s not true, he does when I’m overwhelmed or sick. He also works 40 + hours a week so I can be home and we take turns making dinner. He’s going to win Dad of the year, because of the kick ass skating rink he’s building in the back yard for our sons. I’ll be cheering them on from the hot tub as he teaches our youngest how to skate. I’m the stay at home Mom so it’s all part of my job description to do the housework. And I’ve always believed there’s a reason why they call it work. I don’t remember signing up for that duty, but that’s what I get with the luxury of staying home and raising my children. I also work from home as a transcriptionist, so there’s keeping on top of my assignments, running my household, hockey Mom duties, and killing monsters under the bed. Which luckily are only dust bunnies, because this Mama bear would be roaring if it was a real deal. I work hard at what I do and my rewards and accolades come from you my lovely readers. The fact that you check in and read and comment about my musings means so much to me. I once had a friend ask me why blogging was so important to me, especially since it’s not a paying gig. My response was sure money’s awesome, but respect is my level of currency. So I’m going to take my advice and start respecting myself and stop letting my kids treat me like their maid. They do have chores and responsibilities that are age appropriate for them. In the hustle and bustle of our life they just got used to me picking up the slack. Well this Mama bear needs a break, and my cubs are just going to have to fall into line. So on that note I’ll be enjoying a bubble bath to rest my aching back, wine to take the edge off, and a good book to dive into. And no one better bother me unless the house is burning down. Because we all know what happens when you poke the angry bear with a sharp stick.

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Color me happy and thankful

So this wonderful thing happened to me today I woke up to a notification from Word Press. This made me feel so wonderful, loved, and appreciated.

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I truly wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have you readers. You’re the sunshine when my world feels dark and grey. That really sounds like a Hallmark card, but it’s true!!! I feel so much gratitude towards this wonderful Word Press community. I started out a year ago with lots to say and not a clue about what to do except write. Now I’ve been encouraged and inspired to start a Facebook page and that’s growing daily. 70 likes this morning due to the kindness and generosity of a community of very talent wordsmith bloggers. You can check me out here if you wish. https://www.facebook.com/jsackmomblog

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I feel the need to express my gratitude because of a few of my blog posts denoting my struggles. Yes my life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, there’s adversity as well. I was asked by my dear blogger friend how do I it? Well my parents have shown me there’s no other way but to go through it. Even if life gets messy, icky, sucky, and uncomfortable you just keep wading through the muck until you can walk on water. They came from very strong stock my Great Grandparents on my Mom’s travelled over from Ireland to Scotland, to England to Canada. They survived the Potato famine in 1846 when so many did not. My dear Grandparents raised my Mom an only child, in the depression when money and food were scarce, but the love they had was abundant. My Great Grandparents on my Dad’s side came over from a war torn Ukraine where my Great Grandpa’s birth place had become part of Austria. They travelled to Manitoba, Canada and started their family of 14 and survived through long winters, poor growing conditions, and little income. They were able to move into Saskatchewan and find land that they cleared themselves to start the farmstead that still is in my family today. And my Bubba went on to marry my Grandpa and have 7 children who all grew up learning the farming way of life strong, determined, authentic, hard working souls, who paved the way for me to be born into my family of 6 children. My Dad was a logger for 40 + years and the only thing that sidelined him was back surgery and later two cancer diagnosis’s. My Mom had 6 children all various ages, the first 4 very close in age. Then my middle sister and I came along when my parents were in their 40’s. They had 2 kids graduated, 2 kids in high school, a 4 year old preschooler, and me as a newborn babe. I don’t know how not to be strong, independent, and determined. And I must not forget a good dose of stubbornness. 😉 So yes this is all I know how to do. The live of my elders in my family tree have never been easy, so we just keep on keeping on. Honestly I think my family could’ve made a fortune with these memes.

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Ok not the best quality of meme making but you get my meaning. This is how I stay strong remembering my ancestors who came before me. Their struggles, trials and tribulations. We have to remember where we came from, in order to know who we really are. So I’m blessed with a very rich family history that even dates back to royalty in the 16 th century. These incredible people lived through war, famine, disease, and survived to create another generation to do the same. So my strength comes from there love, determination, and community of support. This is why the world is so different today, these communities our ancestors were raised in were small and close knit. Not like the cities today overpopulated, where people stand on the backs of others to climb that corporate ladder. I will leave you with this quote that inspired me to write this blog today.

Small town mentality, help out others!
Big city mentality, help yourself!
That’s why the bind between people in small towns destroys anything the city has to offer!
-Allen Ivancoe

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*Image used with permission by the* lovely http://bravegirlsclub.com

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Quick

I have been quickly trying to figure out my life’s dilemmas. How to stop my big boys nightmares he’s suffering from due to being bullied at school. And how to get my sleep deprived little boy more restful sleep. I’m functioning in a “Mombie” state myself, but it’s a part of my daily routine I don’t even think of it much. I joke around and say my son never got the memo as a baby, he was supposed to sleep through the night after a month old. What the most difficult is being so exhausted that I’m quick to anger. And that leaves me and the ones I love feeling vulnerable. To my wrath, my tears, my laments of please forgive me’s. I know how bad it is to lose my temper. And I’m always making amends for my behavior. I spend lots of late nights researching of ways to help my children and myself. I’ve been doing this Deepak and Oprah meditation series which brings me the calm I need in a given chaotic day. For which I’m grateful yet it’s not giving me the restful sleep I need. Which leads me to the quick assumption am I sabotaging myself by my constant anxiousness and overthinking? I’m a philosophical soul who’s introspective nature, can leave my head riddled with questions. I think my poor body says to my brain “ok I give up, you win, I’ll talk to the central nervous system and get her moving in the morning.” And I’ll lay here and look like I’m letting her relax, and you take over the party going on in her head. And get those muscles to relax and rebuild so she’s not a mess of bones on the floor!” You see why I can’t sleep I’m so quick to think up things to entertain myself? At this point in my life I either laugh or cry. I’d rather laugh and convulse into feel good giggles, after a good tickle fest with my kids. They are amazing little loves who are so quick to forgive me when my impatience rears it’s ugly head. I’m always a work in progress, as I believe we all can be at times. How can we not be with the craziness of the world we live in? Being empathic can be a really life long uphill struggle, as I tend to feel things on a much deeper level than the average joe. So I’m always looking for a quick fix, to ground and balance myself so I don’t fly off into a tizzy. Yes, medication helps but leaves me feeling almost disjointed in my bubble of calm. I prefer to make up a quick remedy of essential oils, clean nutrition, vitamins and a little wine to balance it out. I will be the first to say I love hard, play hard, and beat myself up hard for simply being human. My family knows that they are my breath of life, my elixir I drink up to fill the gaping holes in my heart and psyche. I’m learning to not be so quick to react with impulsive anger, and let the sins of my childhood not continually play in my mind. I have to learn to be quick to forgive myself for my wrong doings and not beat myself to an emotional pulp. There’s too many people in the world that will do that for me, with no questions asked. So my life has been full of quick friendships, with all the moving I’ve done in my life. My hope is I’ll find some sustaining friends so I don’t feel so lonely. It surprises and saddens me that I’ve been quick to judge groups of people in conversation, because I’ve wanted that so badly in my life. I need to be patient and let life unfold how it should. Than being so quick to bypass people that I think wouldn’t have anything to do with me. That’s the issue I struggle with as I work through my growing pains and find that friendship that’s meant to be. So I’m slowing down, pacing myself, and going with the flow. Because really Rome wasn’t built in a day.

This has been my Sunday confession brought to you by the amazing Ash at http://www.morethancheeseandbeer.com Check out her confessions and all the brave bloggers that link up. Big hugs to you. ❤️

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Element

I am in my element when I’m creating whether that’s writing, singing, writing a song, listening to music, and on stage performing. These are my passions in life, things I do that make me feel whole and complete. I’m also in my element when I’m with my friends. Talking, laughing, enjoying a cup of tea and scrapbooking. I’ve been struggling as of late because I don’t have this in my life at the moment. I’ve moved and I’m starting out on a new journey so there’s always some growing pains when I do this. I’ve made a few friends but we’re in that “getting to know you stage,”and juggling our families, school activities, and households. I miss those carefree days when my sweet Mama friend and I would go shopping and end our adventure with a stop at Starbucks. Or when my spiritual friend and I would stay up late drinking wine and reading our angel cards. When I’m dancing with my sweet sisters of the dance, learning new routines, moves, and channeling my inner burlesque Goddess I’m in my element. When I’m around people I’m in my element. Not big crowds though they make me nervous and overwhelmed. I love to be around people to listen to, watch, and converse with. Lately I’ve been in protective mode and somewhat of a loner. I was surrounded by people last night when I was on a subway train going to the Fleetwood Mac concert. I was so excited, and also hypersensitive to my surroundings. Being on a crowded train as an empath, locked inside a metal tube speeding down the track had me definitely out of my element!!! I could hear the cacophony of their mixed voices, languages, and feel every vibration they were emitting. My astrological sign is Taurus ,the earth element so I’m grounded, balanced, and solid. I didn’t feel that way at all, in that moment on the subway train. So I turned to my writing and started furiously typing away trying to think, breathe, and ground myself. It helped me, then I zoned out and stared at this Garth Brooks poster in front of me. If your a fan he has a new CD out Man against the Machine released after a 13 year hiatus from country music. I love his music, his story telling, his wonderful energy as a person. Definitely a must have for my Christmas wish list. So while I was balancing myself out from all the energy swirling around me, I missed my stop!!! I started to panic and then I remembered my spiritual element and breathed new life into my purpose of getting to the concert!!! One thing I learned is the North bound train always goes back to where it came from, so then I got off on the proper stop. I arrived and followed a crowd of people towards the din of excitement emanating from the arena. I arrived breathless at my seat and looked all around me, I was so emotional I burst into tears. I was really there, even with my mistake in missing my stop, and I was happy. Then the music started playing, my beautiful sister and her sweet friend arrived,and I was back in my element. As the sweet sounds of The Chain filled the building and I was lost in my sensory pleasing feeling of their music. And I began to dance and feel all my cares just slip away into the ethers. What a magical experience, so happy I crossed that off my bucket list. 🎶🎉💓

This has been my submission to Saturday Stream of Consciousness. The prompt was the word element. This is brought you by the lovely http://lindaghill.com check out her thoughts and all the other blogger talent that link up. Big squeezes sent your way. ❤️

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Friday’s Feats and Fails-A week in my world

I’m feeling super duper happy today it’s a fabulous Friday. It may be -22 and my legs and my face hurt from being cold. I’m unthawed now and have a laundry basket folded so I’m celebrating. I’m going to have some special me time tonight with Fleetwood Mac, a friend, and my sister!!!! I’m so excited I saw them last May as a birthday gift from my sweet sister, but tonight will be even more exciting since Christine Mcvie is back in the band. I will see the sweet Songbird herself with Stevie magical Nicks and the fabulous talent of Lindsay Buckingham, Mick Fleetwood, and John Mcvie. I’m so excited, happy, and feeling blessed on this fabulous Friday!!! 😃❤️🎶🎉
FEAT

Last weekend was entertaining since my Captain had a hockey game and my sister and my niece were in town. They got to see his team win their game 8-5 and my sis won the 50/50 draw, as a bonus on the cake of the day. Definitely worth the gas $ to drive out for a visit. We had a great day watching movies, cuddles, laughter, and late night discussions of Russel Brand’s book Revolution.

FAIL

I seemed to be behind the proverbial eight ball this weekend, and rushing to get the kids ready for hockey. I always start with getting the Mad dog ready, then the Captain with his hockey gear, then myself. Well usually it works but there are some days I spend more time chasing Mad dog then dressing him. It creates a shit ton of anxiety in the Captain and always lead to a meltdown. So I have to be on top of this train before it runs off the track.

FEAT

I’ve been managing to keep Mad dog and myself on a low gluten eating plan. We’re not completely gluten free but it’s a work in progress. I’ve been noticing my back isn’t so achy in the morning even before yoga. I notice Mad dog’s mood swings aren’t so frequent and sensory meltdowns aren’t as long lasting but he still has sleep issues. Despite being on his nightly medication to help with his reflux and allergies. He’s more exhausted and snoring again, so I don’t see a difference in relation to him being on a low gluten diet. Well back to the researching drawing board on that one. Pending blood work I’ll have a better idea of how to treat his Obstructive sleep apnea.

FAIL

Sometimes I feel so much guilt over the issues my poor little boy has. The ailments and acronyms, of his SPD (sensory disorder) seem to be plentiful. There’s times I want to scream at the Dr’s and say he’s just a little boy, and yell stop telling me what’s wrong with him and help him for God’s sake. You wouldn’t know he’s struggling because his drive, and ambition, to love life remains unchanged.

FEAT

We’ve managed to make it through the sleep deprivation of the long weekend and enjoy spending time together. The Captain got to go shopping with his Aunty and cousin with his birthday money. 2 weeks ago we had his bowling birthday and what a glorious day that was!!! Complete with bowling, dancing, presents, and a Minecraft cake. My niece also bought a Halloween ginger bread house that her and the kids decorated and they made peanut butter cookies. So much fun had by all, and my heart grew three sizes that day.

FAIL

Amidst all the fun, I stayed up way too late and felt groggy and a little wine soaked the next day. And as the result I didn’t do a stitch of housework. Which is my doing, so I’ll have a table for one with my pity party. My sis and niece were able to stay an extra day due to the blizzard ripping through the province. Which was awesome since we love having them come for visits. All the late nights led to a flu bug sweeping the house and knocked down all of us for the following week. Zero fun was had and the Captain didn’t make it to hockey practice this week, since no one was well enough to take him. So he enjoyed being off school for a day and home with Minecraft and movies.

FEAT

Since I had the meeting with the school admins and parent/teacher interview the Captain has felt better about school. Well he’s comfortable in his classroom where it’s structured. Unstructured play at recess and lunch time gives him anxiety. So he’s not initiating play with even his friends. I’ve told him he doesn’t need to hide out because he’s entitled to play, and have fun like the other kids. It’s a work in progress, and I’m using deep pressure techniques and essential oils to relax him and help with his nightmares. Last night was a particularly tough night for him as he saw me on a ship that sunk and I didn’t survive. I held my poor Captain as the tears streamed down both of our cheeks. I promised him I wasn’t going on a ship and my love will always protect him. Although my heart was breaking for him in the moment, I felt so emotionally connected to my son as his little brother hugged us both and wiped our tears. In that moment no one could touch or break through the strength of our impenetrable bond.

And we are back at Fabulous Friday where I’ve managed to enjoy 51 days of blogging, celebrate my one year blogging anniversary, and create a Facebook page with the help of some lovely bloggers and page admins that supported me on the way. A special big thank you to http://Angrivatedmom.wordpress.com and http://sharingwithshari.com
for all their wonderful support and kick in the ass that I needed. You can check me out here if you wish. 😃

https://www.facebook.com/jsackmomblog

It’s been a whirlwind of a fun few days and I’m looking forward to sharing with you next time. Thank you so much for being here my dear readers. I’m literally just rambling words without you here to read and appreciate them. Hugs and high fives to you lovelies for making this life a beautiful one. 😘❤️

This has been my submission to Awesome Ash’s Fridays Feats and Fails http://morethancheeseandbeer.com Please check out her week and all the fabulous talent that link up. 😊

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My one year of finding myself

Today is my one year blogging anniversary. It’s also the 23 rd year of my Grandpa’s death. I still remember it like it was yesterday the second man I’ve ever loved, besides my Daddy. I grew up being fascinated, perplexed, and adoring my Grandpa. He always told me I was a little girl with a big voice. I still remember how proud he was to hold me in his arms. I was the last of his daughters children. And there I lay bundled up in my pinkness in his arms. He always told me I could do anything I set my mind to. And now that little girl has grown up to have children of my own. When I started out on this blogging journey I really didn’t know what to expect. I went from blogging once a month when the thought moved me to write, to blogging once a day sometimes twice a day!!! I have always had a love of writing since an early age. I remember being 6 years old and learning how to read. Back then we were read to but weren’t expected to know actual words. My Grade 1 teacher Mrs. Bossio, opened up a magical world to me when she helped me learn to read. I would sit at my desk and look up at her with wonder as she made Dick, Jane, Sally, and Spot’s world come to life. And when I discovered I could put those letters into words and read those adventures myself I was hooked. By the time I was in Grade 3 I was an avid reader and was reading by the dozen out of the Silent Reading Assisted box. I was also an advanced reader so I helped tutor kids who needed it. I was also writing stories getting lost in the adventures of my characters. So I started and never looked back, over the years I collaborated on story writing with my Mom. And when I got into high school I tried my hand at poetry. I have stacks of journals, papers, notes of my writing and scribbles. I have boxes of duo tangs, binders, and books of stories and poems I’ve written over the years. Will any of these stories ever make it into print? I don’t know I may share them here, or get up enough courage to finish them off and submit them somewhere. What I didn’t expect after joining WordPress was how much I’ve grown, learned, and changed as a writer, person, and a parent. I didn’t know that I would find such an incredible, supportive, generous, community in WordPress land. So many other bloggers that have laughed with me, cried with me, and understood me better than my own family!!! I’ve gathered a following, come across your reader, and garnered some attention and likes. I didn’t expect to have late night conversations that made me smile, giggle, and feel philosophical, when I felt so lonely in my personal life. Today I say thank you to everyone who has read, shared, commented, and followed along on my journey. Here I am one year later, and finding my way back to myself one story at a time. Smooches and warm and fuzzy hugs to you all. You make my grateful heart super happy. 😍😘❤️

*Image used with permission from http://bravegirlsclub.com.

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Kindergarten Sex Ed?

I read this fascinating, yet concerning blog from Underdaddy and my first reaction was to be horrified, sad, shocked, and in disbelief. My head literally hurt after reading this and commenting. What happened to our kids being protected and left to be well, kids? There’s so many things I do wrong as a parent I yell when I get angry, I swear when I’m stressed, when I have nothing intelligent to say in the moment, and I cry when life beats me up. I also love, hug, cuddle, bathe, feed, and adore my children. I fight bullies, school administration, and monsters under the bed. My sons always know I’m there for them regardless of how I feel. I’ve drug my tired ass out of bed, when I hear one coughing in the night. I cuddle on the couch till morning when one has had a nightmare. I have loved them in utero and have been blessed beyond belief when I brought them into the world. After reading Underdaddy’s blog I’ve forgiven myself for all wrong doings and being human. And I will never give up and keep on trying to be the kind of Mom they deserve. Like my own beloved Mama was to me. After this conversation I truly believe I am a stellar parent. I’m going to direct you to his blog now and keep the comments open on my own. In order to start a conversation to make sense of this direction children are taking into early adulthood. Thank you Underdaddy for allowing me to reblog and share your story. As he’s said in his words “as a public service announcement.” It has been an eye opening and life changing event for me. Loving myself and my family through the rough spots of life, and patting myself on the back for a job well done. Taking a breath, feeling the love in my heart, one day at a time. ❤️

Underdaddy

When and how should kids learn about sex? Or any controversial subject?

Excellent Question.

Lets ponder a while before we answer. Recently my wife and I held an anatomy conference/discussion for our second grader, Calamity Jane. There were a few questions on the car ride home that prompted the discussion. She was unimpressed and we learned that she probably had already learned most of these things in school from other kids. The school is public and children can be expected to be exposed to all types of beliefs, opinions, and realities that they wouldn’t see otherwise. After the talk my wife and I both wondered if second grade was too late and when was the time frame, on average, that kids become exposed to life’s truths.

Today I learned that the answer, in some cases, is Kindergarten.

You heard me. Kindergarten.

What truths you ask?

All of them, from what…

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Writer’s Quotes Wednesday

Tonight I wrote my quote that made up who I authentically am. All the blogs, books, articles I’ve read inspiring me to be my truth. And that wonderful truth is me, without any apologies. This is my submission to http://silverthreading.com. Check out her quote and all the other talent that link up. Here is mine with my own original picture for your enjoyment. 😃

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