Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Writer’s Quotes Wednesday

  

This has been my submission to Silver Threading for Writer’s Quotes Wednesdays. Today I thought about hope for the future, power beyond the pain, and the courage to change my thought patterns. Please read all the talent who link up and be inspired. ❤️

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One Liner Wednesday

I have been struggling lately with death, mortality, and grief. I live honestly and my pain is broadcast through my emotions. Sometimes I think I should hide more and feel less, but this moment put all my fears to rest. My preschooler son saw my tears and just wiped them away and said “Mom who hurt your heart?” I was so overcome with emotion I hugged him tight and said “life did, but you’re healing it honey.” ❤️

This has been my submission to Linda G Hill One Liner Wednesday. I didn’t have anything funny to share so today I shared something heartfelt. Please check out all the talent that link up. Thank you. 💕

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Anonymous 

There are times I put my ball cap on big sunglasses tuck my hands in my hoodie kangaroo pocket and hide out. Sometimes I do this at home or when I go out so I can remain anonymous. I might even look creepy in my incognito splendour, but I feel safe. I like to people watch there I said it, and this is a way I can do it casually. I learn so much about watching people. There’s an art form to it, a nuance that I appreciate. I don’t stare I just watch how people use their body language, talk in public, how they get absorbed in their “face in their phone world.” 

I have always enjoyed this past time and until now I’ve remained anonymous about it. People inspire me I can think up things to write just from seeing people interacting with each other. Sometimes I take notes while I’m sipping my Starbucks, and word prompts or blog ideas pop into my head. I used to go to parks while I was pregnant with my first and watch parents in action. I watched how they held their babies, what kind of strollers they used, how they cooed and kissed their precious bundles of joy. I enjoyed seeing them in those sweet, candid moments in love with their little family’s. 

I was so eager to learn and take mental notes about what kind of Mom I would be. Little did I know that the biological need kicks in whether you birthed your baby or were blessed with someone’s else’s. I just knew what my son needed whether he was comfortable in a football hold, or too hot from skin to skin and he would push his arms up and away from my chest. I would watch him for hours too just before I fell asleep while he was dreaming away in baby land. 

I could watch his body movements, the way his long eyelashes made his tender baby face look so beautiful. The roundness of his chubby cheeks, and the sweet way he pursed his lips like he was about to kiss me. I couldn’t get enough of baby watching when I had my babies. And I made friends with other Mom’s and I watched and admired their babies as well. My second baby loved to wiggle even when he was sleeping. He was in constant motion right before he’d drift off to sleep. His rosy cherub like cheeks looked like two little apples I could nibble on. His lips were always in a full pout, and his soft blonde hair I would stroke and admire his peacefulness. He was so angelic and since he wasn’t much of a steady sleeper I appreciated these moments even more. 

Watching my children while they slept made me appreciate their beauty, calmness, and the tender years that they were at. And how fast they were progressing as they grew from babies, to toddlers, to preschoolers, and off to Kindergarten and leaving my nest. As they’ve grown this made me want to study them as they play. As if I could capture this time of their lives and bottle it for safe keeping for my memory bank. The voices my youngest likes to use with his superhero characters makes me giggle. And the songs and dances my oldest uses to entertain himself and other amazes me with his talent. I also watch them watching me as I’m reading, cooking, or working out, asking me a hundred questions about what I’m doing, and when will I be done. 

As much as I enjoy people watching I’ve given birth to a couple of investigative people reporters. My son’s will give me updates on our neighbours comings and goings. As well as what his dog is up too, sleeping, eating, or sniffing as he sees my youngest staring at him through a crack in the fence. I have to remind my kids it’s not nice to stare at people in public. A passing glance is long enough and adding a smile if someone looks your way can make yours and their day. I’ve received compliments from other people watchers about my son’s. Which always makes me puff up my chest as a Mommy peacock strutting my parenting stuff. 

I’ve been told by little Grandma’s in the grocery store how polite and cute my kids are. How they must keep me giggling with their antics. I’ve nodded, agreed, and have added “yes laughing and a little hair pulling as well.” I used to feel so anxious if someone was watching me with my babies. Almost like they were trying to see where I was doing something wrong, or I would be judged for not doing something right. Igniting  the whole Mom wars debate that I wanted to avoid like the plague. 

It spoke a lot more to my insecurities then what people thought of me. Usually they just wanted me to hurry up in a line up when deciding what meal to order. They weren’t judging me they just were in a hurry with life. And there I was with my baby smiling away at them from my stroller. I got over that after my children started getting older. Now my oldest is quite a handsome boy with brilliant blue eyes, and an easy smile on his lips. 

He captures attention wherever he goes as he’s kind, polite, and always engages someone in conversation. My youngest he’s equally handsome and adorable, but where his brother is my quiet child he is my loud, wild, child. He is a boy very comfortable in his skin. He has no qualms of telling you his name, how old he is, and inviting  you back to our house for a play date. With him everything is an adventure, something fun and exciting waiting to be discovered by him. I love how he tackles life whether it’s scary or challenging  he wants to take a bite out of that experience. 

There are those days I want to be anonymous when he raises hell with being uncomfortable or panicked about something in his environment. This is something he has no control over with his neurological disorder. If sets him off sensory wise then we have some drama to contend with. Those are the times I want to crawl underneath the table and hide under my hat and dark sunglasses. But I don’t, I’ve taught my kids to never shy away from life. I just do my best to handle the situation and regulate my son as quickly as possible. Then we can leave as quietly as we came in or I can be the people watcher, and say “take a picture to remember us by.” Which actually happened in a McDonald’s as there were a few judgey Mcjuderson’s in attendance. Oh to be anonymous, incognito, say what you say, dream what you dream, feel what you feel without a care in the world, and be free. Now if you will excuse me it’s time for my weekly people watching session at Starbuck’s. 😉

This has been my Sunday confession with the loveable More Than Cheese and Beer. Head on over and check out her anonymous Sunday confessions. And all the lovely ladies who linked up today. Thank you,  smooches. 😘

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Ten Things of thankful 

  
It’s my favourite time of the week to link up for Lizzi’s TTOT blog hop. I’m so happy I’m able to participate as I had some WordPress app issues and my post kept getting “eaten” or not being able to upload pictures. Frustrating to say the least, but all is well and I’m back baby! 😉
1. I’m thankful for being able to admit my pain was a heavy burden and I reached out to friends. I was received with so much love, warmth, and kindness I had wished I had done it sooner. 

2. I’m thankful for memories I have of my beloved friend that passed away recently. Even though I’ve  experienced grief so thick it’s felt like quicksand, I have loving memories to hold onto to, and a connection with her family. ❤️

3. I’m thankful I’ve been brave and ventured out of my comfort zone and made some new wonderful friends. It started out as a mystery friend in a Facebook group where I got to spend the last 3 months corresponding with her through cards, letters, and little gifts. The best part was I was a mystery to her and I made my big reveal a week ago. We exchanged texts and met up the next day. We found out we only live less than an hour away from each other. 😃

3. I’m thankful I have a beautiful home, a hard working husband, and really amazing children. They have loved me through my pain, tears, and grief with their love, laughter, and smiles. ❤️

4. I’m thankful that the weather has changed and warmer days and nights are upon us. I was able to get some yard work and some planting done while enjoying the sun. 

5. I’m thankful for when I’m feeling lonely I just have to reach out and someone will be there. Whether that’s online, in person, or at the end of my phone. There’s comfort in knowing that when I feel really sad and out of sorts. 

6. I’m thankful for my family for without them I wouldn’t feel strong enough to keep fighting through my struggles. They lift me up on angel wings when I forget how to fly. 

7. I’m thankful for the sound of my children’s laughter. Hearing it as it wraps our home echoing in happiness and intensity, is like music to my ears. 

8. I’m thankful for the people I have in my life filling it with love, laughter, support, and understanding. You all fill my nightly and daily prayers with gratitude for being a part of my happiness. 

9. I’m thankful for old friendships being renewed again. I spent 2 1/2 hours on the phone last night catching up with a childhood friend I’ve known and loved for 30 years. We have recently moved closer to one another in the last year, and I’m so excited for our family’s to connect. 😃

10. I’m thankful for all you dear readers that come here each week to read my stories and comment and appreciate what I have to say. You make this the best part of my day, next to cuddles with my family. Thank you so much for filling my love bucket to the brim. ❤️

This has been my submission to   Lizzi’s TTOT I’m so thankful for wonderful her and her tribe that have welcomed me into not just a blog hop but a new way of thinking and appreciating everything in my life. 😃🌟

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One Lovely Blog Award Bestowal 

Awhile back I was nominated by the lovely One Mother To Another for this award. I was so touched that she thought so much about my little corner of the blog world. I truly love and adore this Mom and her message of love, acceptance, and solidarity in the blogging community. If we geographically lived any closer I would be hugging her right now, and being entertained by our kids. 

  
 
The Rules

The nominees must share 7 interesting facts about themselves, and display the award on my blog page. 

1. I love to sing as much as reading and writing. I’ve belonged to church choirs, school plays, and choral club when I was in elementary and high school. For a wedding gift for my husband I wrote and recorded a song for him. It was played at our wedding and he was so surprised it was me singing. There were a lot of smiles, hugs, tears, and most of all love shared that day.

  
  2. I’ve known my husband for 30 years we met through my sister after a hockey game he was playing in. It was love at first sight for me but I was only 12 and trying to look and act 16! Fast forward in time, he moved back to my hometown after seeing the world and we started dating and have been together ever since. And now we have built a beautful life with our amazing son’s. Happily ever after really does happen when it’s blessed by love. ❤️ 

  
 3. I have struggled with anxiety and depression all my life. My parents were separated when I was four years old. I internalized a lot of those feelings and that gave birth to my anxiety. My track record for surviving and living with depression has been a long one. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned on my journey. I challenge my anxiety everyday and I try to make friends with “her.” I’m starting to allow myself not to be controlled by “her” and think she can be helpful in my life sometimes and detrimental at others. By saving my life in certain situations, and not allowing me to take risks and challenge myself. 

4. I use my anxiety as a her and she pronoun because I named it. It helps me see things clearly and realize when I’m giving “her” more control over my life and thoughts. I see how “she” and I  have affected my children and I’m feeling the fear in life, and doing it anyways. It feels good to know that I’m conquering my life’s challenges instead of letting them control me. It’s really scary and exhilarating to know there’s more to discover in the world, than how I’m going to control it. 

 
5. I’m writing a book of my life experiences in a memoir. I’ve been shopping around with publishing companies to see where I get the most to offer in terms of marketing and distribution. It is a long term goal, but one I’m confident about bringing it to fruition. 

6. I’m a proud Canadian (if you didn’t know that by now you haven’t been reading my blog). I’ve lived in 3 different provinces in my life and I’ve found beauty and diversity in each one. I’ve taken lots of photographs and I hope to showcase them in a book as well to show others the changing and fascinating landscapes of my beautiful country. 

  

7. I’m as comfortable on stage as being home watching Netflix on family movie night. I feel a real joy in performing and I look forward to auditioning for the next play with my local theatre group. In one of the plays I was in about pioneers and the Gold Rush, written by very talented friend. She heard me sing Danny Boy and cast me immediately. I came to adore that beloved character Nellie Cashman. During my research I found out Nellie and my Great Grandmother were born in the same part of Ireland.They were six years in age difference and could’ve possibly known each other!  I found this so exciting since genelology and history are another love of mine. 

  

Now I’m supposed to nominate fifteen blogs to bestow this honour upon. I read a lot of blogs but I’m going to pick the ones that have been the most supportive to me.  I’m being a rebel and picking five because that’s how many are really close to my heart. After the nominations have been made I’m to let them know they’ve been nominated, and then sit back and enjoy reading their responses. 

1.  Is It Really That Easy  The lovely Laura has offered me such encouragement, and I’m so grateful for her and her support when life gets challenging. I love getting wrapped up in her storytelling, and her kind heart make me smile. ❤️

2. Happy Lifeaholic I had the pleasure of connecting with Adi through her words on her blog. I was captured by her youth, enthusiasm, and love of life and I was eager to follow along on her journey. I also had the pleasure of guest blogging and being featured on her site. She’s an extraordinary woman and the more I read her stories, the more I feel connected to her. 

3. Champa Tree I love her lovely blog and appreciation for the simpler, divine things in life like love, kindness, and appreciation. So many things we as a society can take for granted, and she writes about them so beautifully.  

4. A Momma’s View I love her blog and her kindness to me along my blogging journey. She recently told me about the Courage Challenge and how I should submit a post I had just written about conquering my fear and anxiety. You can read it here Here

5. Silver lining Mama I met this amazing lady in a WordPress Blogging 101 group. And even though we’ve never met in person our hearts have. I found out about her Courage Challenge in February and she was kind enough to feature me on it back then, and most recently. 

All of these wonderful women are very special to me including the fabulous One Mother to Another. I read, comment, and share their blogs. I love their honesty, talent, kindness and the ability to uplift me when I don’t feel very strong and capable. They haven’t known how I’ve prayed for them and thanked God for their online presence in my life, but they do now! Please show their blogs the love that they deserve. ❤️

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Writer’s Quotes Wednesday

  

This has been my submission to Silver Threading Writer’s Quotes Wednesday please come and see all the amazing talent who link up. Thank you. ❤️

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Situation 

I’ve always been an honest person, I speak my mind, and do my best to not judge a book by its cover. I’m human so it happens from time to time, but here’s the situation I judge myself very harshly. I don’t know where it comes from but the second guessing myself gets exhausting. 

You know what the worst part is? Passing all the angst and anxiety onto my children. I watched it happen in my own childhood as the adults around me transferred their stress onto me. I didn’t blame anyone though, I just believed they were victims of victims and of life. A profound outlook for a five year old to have. I learned at a young age we create our circumstances through our thoughts, and these become our situations. 

If I want to create something happy and fulfilling I just need to think positive. I can bring what I desire to me by thinking about it. It’s proven in the laws of attraction you get what you expect. The energy that we put into repelling our good fortune is equal to what we gain, by accepting and appreciating the very best life can offer. You can try and find another way around it, by disbelief, ignorance, or denial it still is the same result, you reap what you sow.  

So I ask myself as I worry and wring my hands with anxiousness, how do I get myself out of this situation I created? How can I stop it from affecting my children. I can think positive, feel happy, and secure and believe that no matter what happens God will take care of me and my family. I do believe that’s true, yet there’s still a shred of anxiety flickering on and off like a light switch.

 There are days I feel so happy and I celebrate that joyfully. These are the days where I just trust that everything is going to work out fine. This is after I’ve spent time in prayer and meditation. I always need to have a plan B, it’s a no brainer with sensory children. Lately I’ve felt I’ve just been getting by on a wing and a prayer. 

Last weekend was different though I took chances, felt happy, and stuck my plan B in my pocket for safe keeping. I went to dinner with a new couple I had met through a group online. Which was a brave and beautiful thing because the lovely lady and I had been corresponding, but we were a mystery to each other till last week. We had our big reveal where I signed a card with my name. We made plans and after dinner we attended a carnival, went geocaching, and ended the night with an ice cream treat. 

I was elated we all hit it off and are already planning our next get together. I wasn’t anxious,  I was estatic and from someone who is constantly watching, worrying, and waiting this was like an epiphany! I have always said have faith, trust in God, and the universe to give you what you need. I do believe in all of that, but there’s always been that sneaking fear, doubt, and anxious vibration that didn’t allow that belief to seep into my cerebal cortex. 

Now I know more than ever I have to hold onto to this profound way of thinking. I owe it to my myself and my family to believe once and for all, that I got this and we’re going to be fine. Every day I spend worrying is another day taken away from living, loving, and appreciating my children. Every moment I spend wrapped up in doubt takes me further away from who I am and who I’m meant to be. Every minute I let fear take over and win makes me die a little more inside. If I live and exist with doubt I’m not honoring my true, authentic self. 

 It’s not easy to be anxious internally yet project confidence on the outside. I’ve been doing it for years and I always write more about my feelings than sharing my personal struggles. People are busy in life and the only one I expect to hold my hand through all of this is my husband. So here’s to closing this chapter in my book of life that doesn’t serve me well. And onwards and upwards to writing a whole new book about me being anxiety free!

  

This has been my Sunday confession with the amazing More Than Cheese and Beer. Please check out her anonymous confessions on her Facebook page, as well as the talented bloggers who linked up. Thank you. 😘

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The Story of Lansing Lotte book review

  

This is a book review that almost never was written. I was having WordPress app issues and my posts were disappearing, not publishing, saving, or allowed to post pictures. I’m so relieved  that everything is now working properly after deleting and reloading the app and I can share my review with you today. 

Book Review

This is a continuation from the first book The Legend of Arturo King that leaves the reader with a cliffhanger at the end. The Story of Lansing Lotte introduces us more to Lansing, the sexy guitar player in the rock band the Nights. An event happens and his best friend and lead singer Arturo King has gone missing. Leaving behind his devastated fiancée Guenivere Degrance. It’s up to the authorities and the members of the band to piece together what happened. Lansing’s heart belongs to Guenivere and if he can’t have her he’ll find someone beautiful to warm his bed. Enter the characters Elaine Corbin and Layne Alcolat to spice things up and a some drama to Lansing’s life.  I enjoyed reading this sequel in the Legendary Rockstar series. L.B. Dunbar weaves an intriguing plot with these characters in a modern day King Arthur’s court. I loved the dialogue present in this book, told from Lansing’s point of view. His character became fascinating to me the more I read. As I was prepared to not like him as he’s the “bad boy” rock and roller. I suggest the reader first read The Legend of Arturo King to get an idea of the depth of the characters and how they will play out in the sequel. There is mature adult sexual content and language so I would give this book an 18 + rating. There’s so many twist and turns so buckle up and enjoy the ride! Here’s a teaser to introduce you to Lansing and one of his conquests. 

 

Purchase Links:

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1bMQMl7
Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1Jw2I8E

Barnes And Noble: http://bit.ly/1JMd2WY

Kobo: http://bit.ly/1bMRkYd

 

The Legend Of Arturo King

 Amazon: http://amzn.to/1Hyb39K

Barnes And Noble: http://bit.ly/1AYLPKd

 
 

Book Excerpt

“Because I know you love her and that must hurt.”

“I…I don’t know if I’m capable of love, Lila. All I seem to do is destroy women, and myself.” She reached a shaky hand for me and pushed my longish bangs back from my forehead. It was surprisingly comforting. 

“I don’t believe that she said.” “I just think you just have difficulty in choosing a safe one.”

Synopsis:(told from Lansing Lotte’s point of view) 

*WARNING:* Adult content ahead. 

 I get it. I’ve heard the jokes. My name sounds like some medieval character who was a hero. Hell, my best friend’s named Arturo King. Ring any medieval bells? But this is my story and I’m no hero. I also get the jokes. Lancelot is a play on the words lance and lot, and a lance refers to a sword, which is a euphemism for dick. What does a man do with his dick? He fucks. A lot. So if my name is Lansing Lotte, I must be “fucking lot.” Get it? Fucking a lot? Which I’m not saying I don’t, that’s not the point. Another reference to something sexual. Get my point? Huh, I made a punny. But again this is my story, and I haven’t done anything funny. In fact, I’ve killed three women, and only one of them I loved. Yeah, that’s right? Not laughing now. It’s not funny. And I’m definitely no fucking hero.

About The Author

 L.B. Dunbar loves to read to the point it might be classified as an addiction. The past few years especially she has relished the many fabulous YA authors, the new genre of New Adult, traditional romances, and historical romances. A romantic at heart, she’s been accused of having an overactive imagination, as if that was a bad thing. Author of the Sensations Collection, Sound Advice, Taste Test, Fragrance Free, Touch Screen, and the upcoming Sight Words, she is also author of the Legendary Rock Star series, beginning with The Legend of Arturo King. She grew up in Michigan, but has lived in Chicago for longer, calling it home with her husband and four children.

 Follow L.D.Dunbar here:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lb.dunbar

Facebook Author Page: https://www.facebook.com/lbdunbarauthor

Amazon Author: http://www.amazon.com/author/lbdunbar

Newsletter: http://lbdunbar.us10.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=426c277f729a7a30eddae970f&id=194c76f08b

Tsu: https://tsu.co/lbdunbar

Twitter: https://twitter.com/lbdunbarwrites

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/lbdunbar/

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/8195738.L_B_Dunbar

Booktropoloussocial: https://booktropoloussocial.com/index.php?do=/profile-2475/

Blogger: http://lbdunbarwrites.blogspot.com/

Website: http://www.lbdunbar.com/

Instagram: https://instagram.com/lbdunbarwrites/

Bonus Playlist:

Alone – Heart

See You Again – Carrie Underwood
Still Into You – Paramore
(You Want To) Make A Memory – Bon Jovi 
Come To Me – The Goo Goo Dolls
Run – feat. Sugarland – Matt Nathanson
Beneath Your Beautiful – Labrinth
Lonely Tonight (featuring Ashley Monroe) – Blake Shelton
Colorblind – Counting Crows
Make You Feel My Love – Adele 
Stay – Rihanna 
Somebody That I Used To Know – Gotye
Start of Something Good – Daughtry
I Touch Myself – Divinyls
Hanging By A Moment – Lifehouse
It Was Always You – Maroon 5
Superman Tonight – Bon Jovi
Endlessly – Green River Ordinance
Love Someone – Jason Mraz
Almost Is Never Enough – Ariana Grande
Say Something – A Great Big World, Christina Agullera
Without You – Max 
I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz
Sorry – Buckcherry
All I Wanted – Paramore
Thinking Out Loud – Ed Sheeran
All In – Lifehouse
By Your Side – Tenth Avenue North
Turning Page – Sleeping At Last
Marry Me – Jason Derulo
You & I (Nobody In The World) – John Legend
A Thousand Years – Christina Perri
Spotify link: 
http://open.spotify.com/user/12176731284/playlist/5kRMpLpA4VretzwytsqBtB



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