Jsack's Mom's Blog

Sharing my heart, tears, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Ten things of Thankful

on February 8, 2016

This post is going to be a little different than ones I’ve previously posted. Tonight I will dedicate my thankful list to my Dad. I will share all my thankful moments of my time with him. Also all the things I’m thankful that he taught me as part of Lizzi and friends TTOT linkup. 

  
 I’ve got through this whole day without dissolving into tears. I kept myself busy knowing if I didn’t I would find myself wrapped up in sadness. Now that I’m not busy the waves of grief come back to me. 7 years ago today I lost my one and only Dad to cancer. I think of all my memories of us laughing, talking, and yes even fighting. No one could make me so mad and proud all at once. Then he’d fire off a string of curses and I would break into a fit of giggles! We both knew we were stubborn as mules and not willing to give in. I couldn’t be any prouder to be his daughter. 

I’m so thankful that he taught me how to be strong. He came from a family of hard working farmers that he was the oldest of seven children. He always knew how to command attention and get results. He had a strength that was admirable and exhausting at times. I would beg him to just stop working and put his feet up and rest. 

I’m thankful that he taught me perseverance. He never left any job unfinished and he wouldn’t tolerate laziness either. He would always say I know how to make you work hard is to get you mad. It’s true I do have a hair trigger temper and he would chuckle to himself when I’d be stomping around on my workboots doing my chores and swearing and blistering his ears with my language. 

I’m thankful he taught me to  trust  and to have faith in myself. I had moments when I felt weak or not heard so I raised my voice and got attention negatively. He told me I had trust that what I had to say was important and to have faith that I would be heard and appreciated for being myself. Then pretending to be someone else to please family, friends, or a boyfriend. 
I’m thankful he taught me to laugh at myself and not take life so seriously. I would have my face in a book or watching movies and I wouldn’t talk to anyone and I’d pretend I was playing that part of the character. He would laugh and mess up my hair and say “go play you’re too serious.” If I made a mistake he would say just laugh it off because everyone makes them.

I’m thankful he taught me kindness and forgiveness. He was notorious for feeding the hungry, taking in stray animals, and giving people work who were down on their luck. He let people stay with our family and no one would go without. He taught me that forgiveness was the only way to move on with our lives instead of being stuck in mad. 

  

  

I’m thankful that he was so giving of his time and attention to me. I always teased him about being a workaholic but my best times with him was working on his logging truck while he taught me how to work the tire gun or grease the axles. I would skip school sometimes and go to work with him and we’d listen to all the country greats of Tom T. Hall, Charlie Pride, and all the trucker tunes. He would teach me all the names of the trees and plants that were deciduous to our area. Then we’d have our lunch and he’d sip his coffee while I had my hot chocolate. 

I’m thankful he taught me how to be self sufficient. I know how to change a tire, break pads, check my oil, and maintain my vehicle. I had plenty of old Junkers to practice on and he was always so patient with me and we’d work together side by side feeling happy. 

I’m thankful that I could tease him out of a bad mood. He could roar like the thunder and get tripped up on his cursing jags. They could be a five minute tirade and I would just hold in my reaction until I couldn’t any longer and I’d burst out hysterical laughter. 

I’m thankful he was there when I needed him. All I had to do was ask or call him and there he’d appear. From watching my baseball games, driving me to and from hockey games so I could be with my friends, and supporting me while I was in a court of law.

I’m so thankful that  I never had to guess how much he loved me it showed in his actions. I still remember the last words he spoke as he saw all six of his children keeping vigil over him in the hospice room. “All my children are here and they all have good lives and make me proud.” I would do anything to hear those words again to lift up my heart when it feels broken. I miss our conversations, his jokes, the belly laughs we had, and his whistling through his teeth. 

  
I recently had a dream about him and he was talking and laughing while I was having a serious discussion that sugar fed cancer cells and he should cut it out of his diet, all he wanted was a beer. I explained that it contained yeast and sugar through fermentation. He replied “well I can have a beer I’m $@@&@ dying anyway!” That was my Dad an honest, straight shooter and one of a kind. He’s left behind many heavy hearts and also a lot of unforgettable moments in time. Love you Daddy, in my heart you’ll always be. ❤️
  

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24 responses to “Ten things of Thankful

  1. herheadache says:

    Ah, the needless loss that cancer causes.
    I know how important the father daughter relationship is and I am so sorry you lost yours all those years ago and how fresh the pain of it still can be, but this is an impressive list of things to be thankful for, things he taught you and ways he showed you what life is all about.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you I’m thankful for every moment I had with my Dad. Even the arguments because of our stubbornness. It seems like it was just yesterday in my memories that I was hearing his laugh. If I quiet my mind I can still go back to that happy place working with him on his logging truck and hearing him whistle. ❤️

      Like

  2. bobcabkings says:

    Heart felt and special

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Colleen says:

    Awww Yes our Dads…..
    All we really wanted was to do was keep them forever…..❤️
    It will be 10 yrs. iin October that I lost my sweet Dad at 80 yrs. old from cancer.
    I love your ‘Dad’ story Jeanine…..he was an awesome guy indeed!
    Thank God for the ‘happy’ memories and priceless photos !
    How old was he when he died?
    Just to change the subject for a second ‘Lose The Cape’ is now at our cottage at Christina Lake where all the young ‘mothers’ in my life….( daughter,daughter in law, granddaughter’s, nieces and their friends) will enjoy reading…..
    Have a good week! — It’s BC Family day and some sun in the forecast today!! 😎

    Liked by 1 person

    • jsackmom says:

      Yes that’s all we ever wanted out of life. To have a strong relationship and never have to say goodbye. My Dad was a hard working blue collar man who passed when he was 75 after being declared to be in remission. Unfortunately there was a spot of his scan that the tech missed. 😔
      He was one of a kind as I’m sure yours was as well. I’m so happy you enjoyed Lose the Cape-Never will I ever! Being at the cottage will give it new life and memories. Thank you for all your love and support my dearest friend. You make my heart super happy. 💗

      Like

  4. valj2750 says:

    What a beautiful tribute to your dad. I’m sure his star is shining brightly because of it. Cancer is a horrible disease and I still cry for the suffering my mom endured much pain before her passing. So many wonderful memories.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you Val it sure helped ease my heart to go back in time to these memories with him. Cancer is an awful disease I’m sorry for your Mom’s suffering. I think when the pain is that intense as was my Dad’s, the greatest gift is to let them go and find their freedom and relief. I’m grateful we have special memories of our times with our loved ones. ❤️

      Like

  5. lrconsiderer says:

    A gorgeous tribute to a man who sounds like he was a BrightShiny person, inside and out. You’ve written him as someone genuine and capable and entirely wonderful, and I’m so SO glad that he was your dad, and that you’ve taken on board the lessons he strove to teach you through his life, his guidance, and his example.

    Truly wonderful, and thoroughly deserving of all the thankfuls 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you so much he really was a diamond to me. He left behind a lot of life lessons, broken hearts, and a void in my life as large as a cavern. He was the first man I ever loved and he taught me to never settle in life and to strive to be my best at whatever goal I placed before me. I’m so glad you were able to meet him through my memories. I will spend the rest of my life teaching my son’s about him and his kind and grateful heart. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Diane Cherney says:

    Beautifully written Jeanine! I’ve only met your dad a few times.He truly was a hardworker, kind,and made me feel welcome into his home😊I felt part of the family right away.

    Liked by 1 person

    • jsackmom says:

      Thank you so much for reading Diane. That was his way welcoming and no one would go without if he had anything to say about it. I love that he passed that onto to all us kids. I sure miss him and his wisdoms. ❤️

      Like

  7. Miriam says:

    What a beautiful tribute to your dad. I lost my dad about 17 years ago to pancreatic cancer and your post resonated with me. My dad was such a strong, determined, kind man who taught me so much and I still miss him to this day. Such beautiful memories you have of your dad, I’m sure you’ll always treasure them as I do mine.

    Liked by 1 person

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