Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Mama bear and my cub

I just don’t know what to do anymore. My heart’s breaking I can’t send my son to school without someone picking on him. 💔 I want to scream, rage, and hurt anyone who hurts my child. What is it with this world today is there any sympathy, kindness, and caring anymore? Is this the generation that will take the world by storm with their ideas, intelligence, and activism? My son was literally attacked on the playground today. It was something so ridiculous as a dropped Pokemon card on the ground, he picked it up and looked around for the owner, and this kid came up to him and just lost it!!! Now my son he did the right thing used his WITS (walk away, ignore, seek help, talk to someone) and the bully got in trouble. But is this where it ends? I have to hold back the tears when I hug my son, when he tells me “Mom I’m so sick of being bullied.” So I’ve been proactive contacted the school, talked to the administration and have had to hurry up and wait for results. I’m not patient anymore I’m really, really angry and frustrated. My son didn’t even want me to say anything because he said he took care of it. Now he thinks he’s being targeted, because he has gone to the people that are supposed to protect him at school. I don’t know what to think because this is the 4 th and different kid. Where’s the accountability, the respect for the child being victimized, where’s the empathy? I’m told there’s going to be a program in the school dealing with empathy, caring, kindness. It’s supposed to be targeted towards my sons age group. But no start date, no information, just more placating to me, the parent. I can’t even pull my boy out of school and find him somewhere else to go. The city I live in has attendance areas and I have to live in a certain area to qualify to attend another school. My son won’t fight back he’s afraid of getting into trouble. But yet there these kids at his school that are just coming up and hitting him. Physically laying there hands on my child!!! My son who I’ve watched grow, learn, discover, and play in the world. My darling boy who loves to entertain with a song, dance, telling a joke. He’s always been well liked and didn’t have this magnitude of problems at his previous school. Except one incident and that was taken care of immediately. One bully, one principal told, and one vice principal took care of it. That one incident changed my son, he became anxious, easily angered, and so insecure. I worked so hard to help him and bring back that happy boy who easily smiles, loves spending time with his family, and who has a wicked slap shot. He was starting to come back to his old self and then he started school and it’s starting to unravel…. I feel so helpless and pissed off at the same time. I’m crying in one moment and screaming and venting into the next. This is a side of me that feels so twisted up and ugly. A side I’d never show to my son’s, a side that scares even me as I rage inside. I want this pain to stop, I want this bullying behaviour to cease all activity. I want this kid to regret the day he ever laid eyes on my son. I want to scare the wrath of God into him, but I won’t and I can’t. The victim or the parent, can’t become the bully. Then there’s no credibility, and the bully ends up being protected because the victim finally fought back. I’m back to the school tomorrow for yet another meeting. This Mama bear is pissed and I will be getting results. Or this school is going to regret the day they ever met me

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The Power of pink

Today I saw a little boy wearing a pink shirt and written on it was stop bullying on pink shirt day. I complimented him and said “I like your shirt.” His blue eyes shone when he looked at me and said “thank you very much.” I replied it was a perfect day to wear it. Seeing him wear that pink shirt gave me courage as I was there at the school to have a meeting with the administration. I prayed that the sweet boy with the blue eyes didn’t get bullied today. If you’ve been following along with the bullying saga my oldest son (the Captain) has been picked on by 3 different kids!!! 😳 I want to bust some heads, kick some asses, and have a good ole ugly cry. He hasn’t even been in school for a month and he has to deal with this day in and day out. 😔 I’ve had it, I have to convince him to go to school, try to make friends, but he’s gun shy. And I can’t say I blame him, I would be too. What pray tell gives some little brat the right to go up and hit my kid?!! And as I stated in my previous blog the Captain isn’t asking for it. All kids can be assholish but he’s not that way at school. I’ve watched him, I’ve been given compliments about his behaviour, and told by parents what a great kid he is. And even if he wasn’t gutted from my tummy like a fish, I’d still think he’s awesome!!! Now he’s afraid he’s going to get into trouble for all of this. He stood up to this trouble making boy this time, and said stop it, you’re a bully! And I’m proud he did, but some of these kids just don’t get it. When I was a lot younger and in school, and someone bullied me I took care of business. We all did back then, there was no persistent bullying, because all it took was one shove out of my way and it was resolved. And if it wasn’t you went to the biggest kid on the playground and it soon was. It got more complicated in high school with peer pressure, the desire to fit in, and of course the mob mentality. Seeing my son go through this has angered, hurt, frustrated, and scared me. He has locked himself in his room and just raged at the top of his lungs. It’s heart breaking to see the first reason my heart grew 3 x’s its size, the day I became his Mom, suffering. He’s deeply hurting and acts out at home out of pure anger. 💔 This crisis has shown me how cruel people can be. My friends and I we’re discussing how we’ve waited on pins and needles when our child gets home and how you hope, pray, and beg to the heavens that they were left alone. And how we hope these kids will grow out of this detrimental behaviour, instead of into it, and become bigger bullies. So I’ve done all I can do and I’m leaving it in the administrations hands. And if it’s not dealt with immediately, and a little brat lays a hand on my kid I’ll go directly to the parent and demand action to be taken. Hell hath no fury like a Mama bear protecting her cubs. ❤️

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Life in a pink shirt

Tonight I’m writing an update to my son being bullied. I still believe bullies suck, and I was able to talk to the teacher this morning and she said she’d deal with it. I don’t know her, and she doesn’t know me, so I’m hoping this issue is resolved. Or I will come down hard on this school. I will not tolerate my son being bullied! Like my dear friend said it stays with you and changes WHO you are!!! And yes the kids were able to talk and work it out. And the boy answered the reason why he picked on my son. He told him that he was bored and had nothing to do. Really, this is what we’ve come to as a society? Kids aren’t entertained with a video game so they have to make their own fun by ridiculing and hurting someone? I’ve taught my son to use his WITS but NO ONE is allowed to lay their hands on you. I’ve been the victim and stood up to bullies over the years. And I have done as my dear friend has done and gone directly to the source of the behaviour. We have to protect our kids, bullying is not like it was back when we were in school. It was horrible then, but now with cyber bullying and social media everywhere, there’s no escape. I shudder to think if the internet was as accessible back then, as it is today. I might not be here to tell my tale, yes it was that bad as I felt powerless. To be stalked, cyber bullied, ridiculed, relentlessly by a mob mentality is devastating. It tears out your heart while it’s left there bleeding on the floor. And everyone watches and waits to see your reaction. Will she cry, will she scream, will she run away and hide? Maybe, but whatever she does she’ll die a little more inside, each time she’s torn down. Bullying changes who YOU are. It makes you so scared to look in the mirror, because you don’t recognize this shell of a human you used to be. I was afraid to cross the street, sit on the bus, use the bathroom, because of my tirade of bullies. I couldn’t take the constant berating any longer. I missed 75 days of school, went into counselling, and started fighting back. My respect for authority was zero, as no one protected me from the endless torment. I got into trouble for fighting, suspended, and still felt my bullies had won. My saving grace was leaving that school but those painful, humiliating memories stay burned into my brain today. And why do I write about it today? It helps me heal a little more each time I help someone else. No one deserves this, and a wise friend told me that the behaviour says more about the bully then the victim. Feeling powerless is an emotional crime. And I want the anti bullying campaign, to mean more than just a pink shirt worn in February. Today my son came home from school and begged me not to send him back there. It broke my heart as yet another incident had occurred. 😠 More on that later, as now parents and principals are involved. I will be speaking with the guidance councillor tomorrow to make sure there’s a plan in place to protect my son. I take bullying very seriously and I will protect my child, and anyone’s child from this torment. Thank you for reading and for your love and support for my son. It’s most appreciated and heartfelt. ❤️

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Bullies suck

My heart hurts for my son today. He’s in a new school, in a new town, and he was bullied today. I too was bullied in school and it’s stayed with me always. I blog about it to cope, and over these years I just wish I could get over it. My son was bullied for the first time, in his previous school and I was irate!!! He’s gentle and kind and has always had everyone like him. Including teachers and support staff. Then this one boy changed his world. I got it dealt with immediately as it was right before the teachers went on strike in the province. Before he moved away, I took a goodbye book to school and had teachers and students sign it. His principal signed it and had said she was going to miss him a lot. Every day he saw her for 2.5 years, he said good morning and goodbye to her. Out of all her students he was polite, kind, and respectful and was going to be very missed. This memory of him will stay with her, and she wiped tears away as she hugged him goodbye. This is not a boy that needs to be bullied!!! No kid deserves to be ridiculed, hurt, made to feel worthless, and less than the amazing person they are! Before my son started at this new school, he was experiencing anxiety and fearful of the unknown. He was so afraid to go to summer camp in our new town because of being bullied once. I had to talk to the organizers and explain his fear and talk him into giving it a try. Luckily I was able to spend time at the playground with my youngest, while watching my son in camp. He did remarkably well, loved his time there, and was sad when it was over. I was so relieved and proud as I know how difficult it was for him to even try. I told him I love him, and I’m there for him always, and to let me know immediately if he’s ever bullied again. Last time, 3 weeks had passed before he let me know anything was amiss. 😳 After repeated attempts to find out what was wrong. I talked to his teacher and friends and found out the truth. And now it’s happening again, as hard as it was to hear it I thanked him for telling me. He also talked to his Dad, and I’ll be discussing the incident with his new teacher. I know some kids can be cruel, and I don’t believe in that old adage “boys will be boys” either. Rather I believe “do onto others, as you would have done onto you.” He’s being raised right, to show kindness, respect, and compassion. And he’s not a little a-hole, I’ve seen him at school interacting with his peers when he doesn’t know I’m there. I’m not trying to be a helicopter parent, just curious. I’ve gotten so many compliments on how helpful, kind, and courteous he is to his peers and teachers alike. He’s just a sweet boy who loves sports, math, and is a Titanic history buff. And why does one child have to ruin things for him? I want to protect my son away from life’s cruelties. I teach him everything’s possible, and he can accomplish anything he puts his mind to. And now I have to teach him how to be stronger, more thick skinned, and that people can be mean, and to use his W.I.T.S. Meaning walk away, ignore, talk to someone, and seek help. This was taught to him in his previous schools, but that doesn’t mean a damn thing when a bully puts their hands on my child!!! My heart aches, I know this pain, confusion, frustration, all too well. I wish I could keep him in a bubble away from all the hurt and pain. But unfortunately life won’t do the same for him. 

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