Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Ten Things of Thankful

It’s Sunday a day of rest and reflection from the week. Well not for me Sunday is one of my busiest days as I’m usually on the road for hockey. Not today though one boy on the road and one home sick and feverish. Tis the season for germ warfare, let’s go back to reflect on my week of thankfuls. With my gratitude to the TTOT thankful linkup that bless me with their stories each week. 😃

I’m thankful for being home after a busy weekend. It was a fun time mixed up with some stress but we survived and that’s all that matters. It was so wonderful to see my son get his reward for the player with the most heart and hustle. Second year in a row for my Captain, I couldn’t be any prouder Mama! ❤️

   
I’m thankful for getting back to our routine and more Christmas decorating and baking. My youngest son has been very excited about Santa Claus coming soon that his Advent calendar is his favourite time of day. This is a double thankful moment because I received the amazing news that my son qualified for some provincial funding. We’ve waited a long time to hear those words “you’re approved” and wow what a beautiful response it is! 💖 

I’m thankful for the most exciting day of the week when the book Lose The Cape Never will I ever then I had kids that I’m a contributor in got published! I’m so happy that my words will be read and shared and I can show my son’s to follow your goals and pursue your dreams, and never ever give up. I am a writer! 

Amazon Link for Kindle
  
I’m thankful for all the support from family, friends, and people that bless me on social media that  I’ve received since I shared the news about the book. It’s been a whirlwind since I found out my essay was accepted and I’m keeping busy by writing and submitting to some more sites and anthology’s. It’s in the doing that we find out what we’re really made of. 

I’m thankful for my family’s love when I haven’t been loveable, and letting me have the time to read and write when the words in my head need a release. I’m thankful for all the amazing, hilarious, caring and even crazy things my kids say and do. They make writing about my journey a happy experience so I can share with all of you how much I love them. 

 

saying your sorry and being forgiven


I’m thankful for the magic of Christmas and how the joy and laughter of my children help my heart to heal a little more each day. We’ve had the tree up and decorated since Nov. 25 th at the insistence of my Halloween loving child and seeing his reaction to the wonder of the holiday has been a gift. 

I’m thankful for those special nights of the bath, book, bed time routine where my oldest son reads to us and his confidence is growing as is his grade level in reading. Then how his brother takes out his favourite book and tells us his story that he creates. Both of them have such a wonderful imagination I’m so excited to see and read their journey in school. 

   
I’m thankful for the ability to nap when I’m tired. My youngest is fighting a cold and between late feverish nights and early morning wake up calls for hockey we spent the morning catching up on our rest. 

I’m thankful for baking and filling my home with the smells of apple cinnamon oatmeal muffins. They tasted so delicious with apple sauce to dip them in. This holiday I’m going to bake and create and pin less. My kids love when I get into that mode of homemade and handmade with love. 

  
I’m thankful for great books to read, keeping up with my own word count for my passion project, and always having someone who appreciates my efforts. I’m so grateful for friendships that have stood the test of time and make you feel like Dorian Grey stopped time at the most perfect moment.  I’m grateful and thankful for all you lovelies that read my ramblings. I reached 500 followers in between book promotion, hockey tournament, and the infestation of the flu bug. Thank you to each of you that stop by to read, share, laugh, love, and comment on my latest story. You make my heart super happy and I’m hugging you from afar. 

  

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Ten Things of Thankful

It surprises me that Sunday is already here! I feel like the summer days are passing me by too fast. So time to harness some fun and thankfulness out of them before they’re gone. I love this time of week for the tribe of Lizzi’s TTOT who inspire and lift me up with angels wings. ❤️

1. I’m thankful for lessons of respect and compassion learned by both my son’s and myself. We learned we need to use our words more and yell in frustration less. And when we’re feeling vulnerable doing things to fill each other’s kindness bucket is a wonderful way to fix that. 

2. I’m thankful for summer camp and all the cool crafts that my son is making there. He comes home with such pride and smiles which makes me so happy he’s having fun being creative there.

3. I’m thankful for the playtime I get to enjoy at the playground with my youngest son while his brother is in camp. We have made some new friends and reconnected with old ones. He’s so excited to have that one on one time with me again and some am I. 

  
4. I’m thankful for keeping up with my fitness schedule and feeling stronger with each workout. I did some really intense sessions and needed a couple of rest days. I was proud of myself though because interval and plyomeyrics training is something I haven’t done for a long time. 

5. I’m thankful that I was able to catch up on my never ending laundry basket. There’s weeks where I’m her bitch, and days where she’s mine. #winningthisweek. 😉

6. I’m thankful that I had a lazy day yesterday and got to watch a marathon of one of my favourite tv series Hell on Wheels. It was filmed in my province and I look forward to hiking in the country that’s showcased on the series. 

 7. I’m thankful for my family who I love and friends who have become family. I’ve always been a friendly person, but to be told that I’m missed, my words have touched hearts, and I’m the only friend who is still there in the end makes me feel warm and fuzzy with love. 

8. I’m thankful for golden opportunities that are presented to me when I just think positive and believe in myself and my abilities. 

9. I’m thankful that family holidays can begin and my husband and I have been planning ways to surprise our kids and enjoy our time off. 

10. I’m thankful for my husband and his pitching in around the house and rallying our little troops to help. It didn’t look like I had accomplished anything with keeping clean and tidy home. Toys strewn about and popcorn and cereal remnants littered my floors and threatened my patience. So the team went to work and this Mama is a happy camper. 

  

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Ten Things of Thankful

It’s been a busy and fun week with the end of school and all the exciting things for my son’s to do. I’m thankful I can share them here with you today. 

1. I’m thankful for the friends I made in the parenting support group I attended. It was so wonderful to get to know and bond with them through our parenting experiences. 💓

2. I’m thankful for the last day of school and sharing ice cream with my kids on a hot day. The look on their  happy faces was enough to put up with the boob sweat that accumulated with sitting in the sun. 🍦

3. I’m thankful for late night movie nights on Friday’s and cuddles with my  family in my big king sized bed. 💞

4. I’m thankful for sleeping in on Saturdays when I’m up late on Friday’s. Even my kids slept in and weren’t my 8:00 am wake up call. 🌞

5. I’m thankful for a clean home, fresh smelling laundry, and frozen ice cream from my brand new fridge! 💃

6. I’m thankful for beers, BBQ’s, and my boys giggling and having a water gun fight. 😜

7. I’m thankful for strangers who’ve become friends, and friends who’ve become family. It makes the world a less lonely place when you find your tribe. 😊

8. I’m thankful for my son’s amazing report card that he brought home this week. I’m so proud he’s gone from being bullied in the beginning year to being very well liked and respected at the end. ❤️

9. I’m thankful for love, laughter, hugs, and compassion. Like the Beatles said all we need is love. 🎶💖

10. I’m thankful for fresh baked pies, book club, and discussing a funny book. It feels so good to have something I love and cherish in my life again. 😃

This has been my contribution to the Ten Things of Thankful (TTOT) linkup with Lizzi and her wonderful tribe. Please come check up the shiny happy people that inspire me each week. ❤️
  

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Surviving, Thriving and needing a #Friendship Revolution

I’ve been struggling lately on being a friend and making friends. With being a friend because I’ve allowed judgement to cloud my vision and heart. Making friends because it’s been easier to stay home when I’m dealing with a cranky preschooler, and chronic pain. Friendships have never been a tough reality for me before now. But add in my age, job transfers, having a child with special needs I found my struggle is real. Plus wanting to hang out in my Netflix pants than be social is a chore. I’ve moved around a lot when I was younger between my parents, Grandparents, and older sibling. I survived all that because I was relatively close by. Except when I moved five provinces away and was the new kid on the block and going to a new school. 

Every town I’ve lived in I’ve been blessed to connect with the like minded people. I still have a very strong connection with the Moms that I meant when I just had one child. We met, supported, and fell in love with each other and our children, on this journey through Motherhood. I know they’re only a phone call, text, or email message away. And we text regularly so we can keep each other in the loop of our lives. I’m happily married Mom of two and my husband gets transferred a lot. In fact this our fourth move as couple and the third for our children.

 Why is it so hard to make friends? I live in a city and not everyone is a stay at home Mom that I do encounter. And some work full time and I only see them at play groups on their days off. Recently I attended a gathering that I read about on Facebook. I didn’t know a soul there but I put on my brave pants and went anyways. I ended up having a great time and finding out that the hostess only lived thirty minutes away from me in my prior residence. 

Now I’m happy to say I’ve made a friend and we have a social meet group where we can post events that are happening or request a get together. I have Mom friends that I’ve met at playgroups, now I’m befriending young married couples. I’ve connected with a Mom who’s son is best friends with my oldest. It’s been wonderful as her youngest is close in age to my own. The one thing that’s ironic is the majority of friendships I’ve made have originated online or in my reality have taken a long time to develop. 

Why is it so hard for me to make friends? I’ve been lonely for a long time and I found myself searching out old high school friends and reuniting with them. It’s been great to reminisce about the good old days and meet their families. They’re very busy so we connect when it’s meant to be. I joined a theatre group these people became my family. We spent two days a week together learning each other’s names, faces, and lines in the play. Come performance time I was with them 4 days a week plus performances on weekends. Now I never hear from them, no numbers were exchanged, only one Facebook friendship requested. I asked myself why is it so hard to make friends now at my age? 

I came to the conclusion that I needed to start a friendship revolution. While I was lonely and spending late nights crying, reading, and writing on social media that I would start to connect with people online. What I found was lonely people with insomnia like me. Through my blog I started to connect with my readers and form friendships. Wonderful, loving supportive people that became my tribe. I refer to them as my bunker family that Punk Rock Papa originated. as a safe place to express our thoughts, share our pages, blogs, and respect for another. I even met two of them as I found they lived close by, and one visit still pending. Even though I haven’t met most of them I have formed a kinship with a kindred soul bond. 

We reach out with love, support, and kindbess, by reading each other’s blog and frequenting each other’s pages. We haven’t sat together in a coffee shop, or passed each other by on the street. But we’ve shared stories of family’s, our children’s successes, and our own private pain. I don’t believe that online friendships originated on social media aren’t real. I never discount the amazing Mama’s and Papa’s that I’m blessed to have in my life. They’ve got me through sleepless nights, early mornings, misbehaving kids, and temperamental doctors. I shared more with them then my own family at times! Why you may ask? Because I could, the door was open and a mutual respect torch was passed from one to another. 

Now I’m very proactive about getting my needs met. I need social interaction in my life whether it’s online or in person. And I recently started to attend some support groups and a parenting family workshop each week. I’ve learned a lot about myself as I’ve shared my life, loves, and struggles. I’ve learned that no parent is an island and we all need love, understanding, and acceptance. It’s what we all crave in life with a great dose of respect on top of this social sundae.  

Since I moved a majority of my friendships are online. Not that I haven’t tried getting to know people in person without a screen. The interactions were either short lived or forgotten about. Recently I attended a support group and all of us Mom’s had the subject matter in common. We talked for over an hour after the meeting ended, sharing stories and getting to know one another. Each commenting that we were lonely and looking for friendships. Then we all went our separate ways without numbers exchanged or a promise to friend each other on Facebook. It was the strangest thing to ever happen to me. I appreciated the conversation but not one person said lets get together again, except me that waved goodbye and said you can find me on Facebook and my blog. 

Life in the city is so different for me this time around. When I had my kids I connected with other Mom’s and their babies through playgroups. Now I connect with them online and then meet up in person to create a friendship. Is this the way of the world now, is it the way life is in the city, or is it just people’s comfort zone levels now? I think it’s a combination of all the above and everything I’ve written about here. It doesn’t deter me from not trying to establish that connection the old fashioned way. Now it’s parks, playgroups, and play dates that have become my social life outside of my screen. I know two people on my block and really that has to change. This may not work for everyone and it’s my own personal, and honest viewpoint on this topic of modern day friendship. I feel like a pinoneer forging on my quest to start a friendship revolution. Who’s with me? 😃

  

I’ve linked up today with some other great bloggers to start a #friendshiprevolution. Follow the hashtag on Facebook and Twitter to read some other interesting blogs. Thank you ❤️ 

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Daily life in my corner of Canada

I’m excited to take part in the Opionated Man from Harsh Reality’s challenge to showcase where I live.  I’m a Canadian who stumbled across his blog from another fellow talented Canadian writer. My corner of the world is a very interesting one and I’m happy to share it with you today. I was born and raised in the beautiful Rocky Mountains of British Columbia Canada. 

Where I grew up in the East Kootneays of BC

Where I lived before in the Fraser Valley in BC
I’ve lived in many different places throughout the province. When I was sixteen I wanted to explore city life once so I moved to Ontario. I lived there for a year and was desperate to get back to my beloved mountains. Due to my husband’s career we move a lot. This is our fourth transfer and our children’s third. Now we currently reside in our new province of Alberta. I honestly didn’t know what to expect when we first moved here, as it’s very flat compared to what I’m used to. In my last town in the Fraser Valley of BC I had mountains in my back yard. Now I reside where I can see clouds stretched out for miles.

Where I live now in Alberta, Canada

When I take walks in my neighbourhood I’m treated to the most amazing gifts of God’s creation. I see brilliant colors woven into the most beautiful sunsets and sunrises. It’s my favourite time of day to take in all this natural beauty. I’ve discovered without mountains I can really see each extraordinary colour in these natural paintings. 

When I take my son to hockey practice we have a 30 minute drive out to the country. It’s my favourite time of the week as my kids and are rocking out to the tunes playing. A little Fleetwood Mac, Three Dog Night, and Motley Crüe. My kids grew up with nursery rhymes and knowing the classics as well. The scenery on our drive has been so breathtaking I’ve had to pull over to take pictures. I’ve never seen such spectactcular cloud porn in all my life!


Our favorite thing to do is take a walk along the river. My husband and I teach our son’s the fine art of skipping stones. The peace and tranquility of listening to the flowing water, feeling the crispness in the air, and taking in the sheer beauty of our surroundings is a wonderful gift. 



It can get cold really fast too, where it will go from +6 to -16 overnight. It’s been cold enough since November to build an outdoor rink in our backyard. And our first welcome to Alberta blizzard happened in September! There’s also this amazing phenomenon that occurs called a chinook. It’s when a wave of of warm current air mixes with cold air and the temperature can change from -16 to +16 in a matter of hours. It’s the most spectacular weather pattern I’ve ever witnessed! And now that the temperatures dropped I look forward to the next one. 


And the hockey road trips I’ve taken throughout my province have exposed me to some amazing landscapes. I’ve enjoyed each one, and have been grateful to get to know little towns I wouldn’t have known otherwise. 



And I can’t leave out the views I have from my deck that move me me to tears and cause me to write poetry. It’s a gift to live here and I’m glad that I’ve been able to connect to nature and not feel so lost and alone in this new adventure. And just like the picture says this is my own little slice of heaven.

 

Thank you for taking this scenic tour with me. And thank you to Jason at Harsh Reality for suggesting this wonderful idea. 🌸

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Pull

I find I’m struggling with myself lately. I’m feeling this pull to my past. Where I felt really happy I had a great group of friends I saw daily. I didn’t feel lonely or shut in like I do now. I had my respite worker recently say I needed people. I know she was right, but that didn’t make me like less of a loser. I feel so pulled to my old life where I knew who I could call, count on, and have my back. Now I try to navigate a new town and new people feeling so unsure of myself. I’ve never had trouble making friends but I don’t know this time around I do.

I need to pull myself up by the bootstraps and just keep trying. Having children with special needs doesn’t always open the door to having friendships. I’m afraid of taking my son to a playgroup and he reacts to too much noise and stimulus. Or if he’s sensory seeking and he gets to aggressive with another child. The times I’ve gone I’ve sat on the edge of my seat drinking my tea, and waiting and watching. I find the pull of my friendships and lamenting that I haven’t found a group. I have a few friends and they lead very busy lives.

So I connect with them when it works with their schedules. I don’t complain, I don’t demand, but I do cry silently at night when everyone else is asleep. With that pull from my heart I have to decide if I’m going to stay stuck in my past, or push myself forward with my future. I’ve been attending a support group and its been helping. I’m hoping to connect and get to know some parents there as we walk the same path with our children. I find more and more each day I have to resist that pull and push myself towards my future.

With that push I’m hoping to gain some more confidence in myself. I have a dilemma with my online life colliding with my reality. Online I’m admired, respected, appreciated, and yes even loved. I’m told I’m beautiful, brilliant, talented, and yes even funny. In my reality I struggle with being social. I have children with special needs. I have to keep them calm, regulated, and comfortable in their surroundings. If I don’t there’s hell to pay. Not to many know my struggles. And honestly I don’t ask for pity just a kind word, an invitation, a smile or a hug.

I don’t ask to impose on people’s lives but maybe just maybe I shouldn’t have blogged about this. Because honestly reading it back makes me sound quite pathetic. I have hid in my online world that makes me feel whole. Today I chose to be brave and put it out here because this is, what is is. My online world meeting my reality, the whole ugly, beautiful, poignant truth of it. Written by me a lonely, heartbroken soul just looking for a friend to understand. I have to pull myself out of my self imposed depression. I’m starting with baby steps and going to attend a playgroup geared towards children with special needs.

I’ve been in denial that it’s what my son needed but no Mom is an island. And the potty training blues have gotten me down and I’ve been stuck inside the house for too long. So time to pull up my big girl sexy panties and get this social thing on the go. No one is an island we all need inhabitants to create some sort of bond, a family.

This has been my submission to Ash’s Sunday confession from http://www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Check out her brilliance, anonymous confessions, and all the other talent that link up. Thank you for reading my blog today.

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My heart is on my sleeve

Lately in my writing I have been sharing a lot about my personal struggles. I didn’t know starting my blog a year ago that it would turn into my online diary! I’m glad it has though because honestly, it’s the best therapy I’ve ever received. I’ve found a kinship here with my lovely readers that has filled my love bucket to the brim. You have got me through some difficult times, even more than my own family and friends have. With your supportive comments, advise, and genuine love and care for my well being. I know this to be true, because I can feel it. I’ve let the spirit guide me in a lot of decisions in my life. After suffering so much grief in the last 6 years I couldn’t trust myself, only my instincts. And trusting my empathic nature has opened up a lot of wonderful doors for me. I recently shared with a new friend my son’s struggles with his sensory condition, and other symptoms of ASD traits I’m seeing emerging now as he gets older. She will be helping me with learning about essential oils that will help to keep him calm and regulated. After all his blood work we will also see a naturopath. Another friend has shared her educational background and had offered to help me get him ready for preschool in the new year. I’m so grateful as it’s been a struggle for us with potty training, feeling confident to be in large groups, and the fear of me not being with him. With her assistance I’m confident that he can have that neurotypical experience that other children can have. I knew as soon as my youngest son was born he was my sensitive child. He didn’t open up his eyes for 5 days, was rolling completely over at 4 days old, and reacting violently to all the tests administered in the NICU. I literally though he was going to punch a nurse as I watched his little fists ball up in anger!!! I watched him struggle with sensory issues and suffer with jaundice and losing weight, since his early arrival in the world. I have always been fascinated with his strength as he’s been my little champion since day one. My Doctors told me he would be delayed with speech, motor skills, and developmentally behind. I watched him go through the phases and reach his goals a little later than what the books said, but I didn’t care. Like every other obstacle in his young life he faces it head on with stubbornness, tenacity, and strength. So a new diagnosis, a new therapy, new helpers won’t phase him. He’s always had a goal since birth, and that has been to experience and soak up as much life as possible. His strong capacity to love and understand the hearts and minds of everyone he meets, leaves me in awe. I love seeing the world through his eyes, as it teaches me that life doesn’t have to filled with fear and worry but more joy and wonder. I’ve been blessed with both my sons and a platform to share that with you. And my little blog has gotten some attention from being a guest blog post on http://howmybrainworks.weebly.com and recently from http://featuredemagazine.com/freshly-featured/
I have been so grateful for the recognition and literary love. I’ve cried a lot of happy tears instead of sad ones, and to me that’s been a gift. I want to thank you for coming to my little part of the world. To read my stories, share comments, and conversations. Your words touch my heart, fill me me strength, and fill me with purpose. Namaste my lovelies thank you for understanding my heart that I wear on my sleeve. ❤️

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Thanksgiving thoughts

Today is Thanksgiving in my part of the world. I’m reflecting on my blessings, and I want to express how thankful I am for my life and all who are in it. I’m thankful to my family, my amazing husband, our incredible sons and our loving home. Thank you for lifting up my spirit, supporting me and being my safe and soft place for my heart. I’m thankful for my siblings and their families, for loving me and supporting me through my trials and tribulations in life. Thank you for the gift of my parents who’s love, guidance, and acceptance has shaped me into who I am today. I still feel their love, influence, and understanding from the heavens. And I’m thankful for all the beautiful friends God has blessed me with in my life. The ones I’ve met since childhood, in my travels, and online through social media. You have made me feel so special, and so loved with every conversation, picture, and memory we’ve shared. You have enriched my life with every status, tweet, blog, and posting. And to my best friend of 30 years you have my heart. You have always loved, accepted, and respected me since day one. We have been there for each other through the darkest times. And have helped each other begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel with love, faith, and trust. You and your family have my love, respect, and gratitude always and forever. While I was driving home yesterday I was listening to my best of Motley Crüe CD I had the music cranked and my boys were in the back seat rocking out. I’m so thankful for the gift of music and seeing my sons lost in the lyrics, the screaming guitar solos, and hypnotic beat of the drum. Today we as a family were able to cut my little boys hair. After 5 months of refusing haircuts, running away when he heard the clippers, and screaming in hysterics when they touched his head, it is finally done. It took all 3 of us to get it done with lots of love, hugs, kisses, and bribery. With music, lollipops, and lots of encouragement I can now finally see his beautiful face!!! With his senses going into overload with too much input, and not enough regulation this is an incredible victory. I feel like I scored the winning goal in a tie game, with 10 seconds left in the period. Running 200 yards for the touch down avoiding being tackled, and won the battle while bruised and bleeding on the field goal line. It’s the little things in life that count. Today I thank God for all these blessings and more. What are you my dear readers thankful for? Light up my comments and let me know. I’m thankful you are here to read my ramblings and for making this Mommy blogger feel so understood. ❤️

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