Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

#Taking back me challenge Part 1

Today we embark on a new journey to fitness and beyond. I Jsack Mom and Tracy on the Rocks are teaming up and are in it to win it! Follow us as they embark on individual fitness  challenges. We will log our personal results, our struggles and more importantly our wins! Getting fit isn’t easy- especially when you’ve fallen off the wagon! But we are determined!!! 

My Story:

I looked in the mirror tugging at the extra skin left over from two emergency cescarean sections. Looking at my body that housed my children not with respect, but with disgust. This body used to be strong, and now I wake up everyday in chronic pain. I cringe as I get out of bed each morning and slowly get my son up for school. After a old back injury of a bulging disk five years, ago mornings are the worst for me. 

My youngest is up and breakfast is served and we eat together I set him up with a cartoon. I get my yoga mat and settle in to do my yoga routine. I do this so I can move throughout the day.  I wish this was relaxing and zen but the pain doesn’t allow me to feel that until I loosen up. I don’t talk about my chronic pain it’s just something I’ve lived with. So now I’ve decided after surviving life I want to thrive so the fitness challenge began. So let the Q&A begin!

What is your history/background with fitness? 

Jsackmom: I remember doing my first Jane Fonda workout in the 80’s and I loved it. Compared to what they teach now it was contraindicated scary aerobics but no one knew the difference back then. I embarked on a fitness career after high school when I took my training to teach general choreography aerobics, step aerobics, weight training, and personal training. I ended up teaching for seventeen years as well as yoga for ten years. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: Unfortunately, my relationship with fitness has been a sordid one over the years. My mom’s side of the facility struggles with weight and my grandmother was morbidly obese.  Weight issues definitely run in the family. I have never loved working out and when I am working out regularly, it’s not because I get some great high or rush out of it…it’s because I’m very conscious that it’s good for me and that I should do it. 

 Have you always struggled to stay on track to be fit? 

Jsackmom: I was always really active playing sports in and out of school. Fitness and weight gain didn’t become a problem for me until I was sixteen. I moved a long ways away from my family to live with other family members. I was very homesick and depressed so I gained the “freshman fifteen.” I ended up losing it all with the Fit for Life plan written by Sam Garcia. Then I moved back home to my former province and became serious about working out regularly at the gym. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: It pains me to admit, but like many adolescent women, I didn’t like how I looked starting in Jr. High and into high school. But, the first time I gained a bunch of weight was in college.  I worked my butt off to get back in shape. The short answer is yes. I will get at a good weight and be on a great streak of working out and eating healthy for a few years.  But, it’s been a pattern that I’ll gain weight and then have to work really hard to take it off again.  I really want to find a healthy balanced lifestyle so I don’t “Fall off the wagon” every couple of years.  Side Note-To my point that I’ll stay on a good streak for a couple of years, here’s a post from my blog from 2 years ago about working out.  It is one of my most popular posts and I think you might find it quite amusing. 

 Who is your biggest inspiration to getting healthy and fit? 

 Jsack Mom: My inspiration is my children. I want to be fit and healthy so I can keep up with their activities. I’m classified as an “older parent” with two young children in my early forties. I want to teach them healthier ways to eat, think, and live. My husband and I will be those parents that are keeping are children’s minds and bodies fit and active with physical literacy. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: I wish I had some answer here that made me seem less shallow.  But the truth is, my pants stopped fitting and I don’t feel very good about how I look right now. I kind of hit rock bottom with tipping the scale and having to buy new pants so um yeah it was glaringly obvious that I needed to reel it in.. 

 Is this about not liking the numbers on the scale or for health reasons? 

 Jsack Mom : I personally don’t own a scale so I weigh myself once the year at my Dr’s office or a friends house. My clothes are my deciding factor of whether I’ve put on weight. I had a health scare back in December and I had to get a complete blood panel to rule out diabetes. I’m happy to say that I’m healthy and my Dr told me to keep doing what I’m doing. My pain level has increased and I need to address that as well. I don’t sleep a lot with my youngest son’s sleep disorder. I very rarely feel rested so my body doesn’t feel refreshed or healed. I need to do more than have stress and anxiety be my chosen weigh to shed pounds. I don’t have a great balance right now and I’m feeling the adverse affects of late nights, poor eating choices, and sleep deprivation. I’ve been researching for the last while about the affects of losing sleep and it scares me. I don’t want to be a statistic!!!! 

 Tracy on the Rocks: It’s about both.  What I said above is true, feeling bad about the number on the scale and having my clothes not fit…that’s a reason for sure. I saw a friend a couple of weeks ago who has lost a lot of weight recently- I can tell he is feeling good about himself and that was probably ultimately the catalyst.  I was jealous- not in a malicious way, but envious nonetheless- of how what he had done and I wanted to remember how it feels to not be ashamed of how I look. That said, I also care about being healthy and fit.  I care about being more active. I care about having a healthier lifestyle.  I care about balance- right  now I have many of the other areas of my life balanced: career, friends, family, writing….and the one area that’s really hurting right now is my fitness. I notice that usually it’s one thing that I let go unattended. When  I had a job I hated, I would use working out and my blog as an outlet for my stress. So while my blog and fitness were doing great, my career was not.  I hope that this last go of it will be my way of finding balance in all areas. I know it won’t be perfectly balanced but I’m working on not neglecting one area too much for too long. 

 What program are you doing? 

 Jsack Mom : I’m doing the Beachbody program complete with workout, meal plans, shakeology, and fitness challenge group.  With them and my coach they keep me motivated, supported, and accountable for my daily check in’s. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: I am incorporating exercise into my schedule including boot camp and fitness classes. I am also trying the Medifast meal plan. 

 What was the deciding factor for choosing that program? 

Jsackmom: My health, motivation, and my pain level has increased so I need to get that in check. Plus I’ve spent the last few months getting to know my amazing coach before I signed up. He’s a great motivator, supportive, fun, and energy I wish to bottle and sell to make my millions. His experience with the program and how honest he’s been about his and his wife’s own personal journey has been the deciding factor in a long list of positives. 

Tracy on the Rocks: Boot camp and yoga are paid for by my work and they are right at my office so I have no excuse.  I also have a bunch of co-workers who go and who can hold me accountable and shame me if I don’t show up haha.  As for the Medifast, my friend reps it and honestly I am just lazy. I needed an easy “grab and go” solution because I am sososoos busy and I just don’t have time right now to shop, prepare and cook health meals all week. I opted for just shakes and bars for convenience. I didn’t realize that there is a whole diet/restricted foods business to go along with it. I recommend you do a little research before diving into a system like I did though hahaha. #lazybones

 What are your ultimate goals with this challenge? 

Jsack Mom : My goal has been to 

What is your history/background with fitness? 

Jsackmom: I remember doing my first Jane Fonda fitness class in the 80’s and loving it. I decided I would embark on fitness journey and make that my passion. I acquired my fitness training after high school, and started teaching for 17 years. I also took some yoga training and taught that for 10 years. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: Unfortunately, my relationship with fitness has been a sordid one over the years. 

My mom’s side of the facility struggles with weight and my grandmother was morbidly obese.  Weight issues definitely run in the family. I have never loved working out and when I am working out regularly, it’s not because I get some great high or rush out of it…it’s because I’m very conscious that it’s good for me and that I should do it. 

 

Have you always struggled to stay on track to be fit? 

Jsackmom: I was always very active when I was growing up and played sports inside and outside of school. The struggle happened when I was sixteen. I moved away from my Mom and went to live with my brother and his family in another province. I was very homesick for my old life and I put on the “freshman fifteen.” I lost most of it with the Fruit for Life plan by Sam Garcia. But moving back home to my Mom and my Grandparents changed my whole perspective. Then I started attended a gym and working out regularly with my friend. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: It pains me to admit, but like many adolescent women, I didn’t like how I looked starting in Jr. High and into high school. But, the first time I gained a bunch of weight was in college.  I worked my butt off to get back in shape. The short answer is yes. I will get at a good weight and be on a great streak of working out and eating healthy for a few years.  But, it’s been a pattern that I’ll gain weight and then have to work really hard to take it off again.  I really want to find a healthy balanced lifestyle so I don’t “Fall off the wagon” every couple of years.  

Sidenote- To my point that I’ll stay on a good streak for a couple of years, here’s a post from my blog from 2 years ago about working out.  It is one of my most popular posts and I think you might find it quite amusing. 

 Who is your biggest inspiration to getting healthy and fit? 

 Jsackmom: My biggest inspiration are my family. I’m classified as an “older parent” having young children in my early 40’s. I want to continue being active with them and not let stress and anxiety be my main weight loss plan. I have an amazing coach that keeps me motivated with his wisdom, experience, and access to effective workouts and meal plans. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: I wish I had some answer here that made me seem less shallow.  But the truth is, my pants stopped fitting and I don’t feel very good about how I look right now. I kind of hit rock bottom with tipping the scale and having to buy new pants so um yeah it was glaringly obvious that I needed to reel it in.. 

 Is this about not liking the numbers on the scale or for health reasons? 

 Jsackmom: For years now I don’t own a scale. I will weigh myself once a year at a gym or a friends house. I had a health scare when a cataract was found in December. I then had to get a complete blood panel to rule out diabetes. I’m happy to say I’m healthy, but it encouraged me enough to put myself on my list of priorities. It’s very humbling to go from being very fit, and motivating to the general population, to struggling with motivating myself to get out of bed each day. I don’t sleep enough due to my youngest son’s sleep disorder so I very rarely feel rested. I get very concerned when I read the statistics on what prolonged sleep deprivation can do to the body. I don’t want to be a statistic!!! 

 

Tracy on the Rocks: It’s about both.  What I said above is true, feeling bad about the number on the scale and having my clothes not fit…that’s a reason for sure. I saw a friend a couple of weeks ago who has lost a lot of weight recently- I can tell he is feeling good about himself and that was probably ultimately the catalyst.  I was jealous- not in a malicious way, but envious nonetheless- of how what he had done and I wanted to remember how it feels to not be ashamed of how I look. That said, I also care about being healthy and fit.  I care about being more active. I care about having a healthier lifestyle.  I care about balance- right  now I have many of the other areas of my life balanced: career, friends, family, writing….and the one area that’s really hurting right now is my fitness. 

I go unattended. When  I had a job I hated, I would use working out and my blog as an outlet for my stress. So while my blog and fitness were doing great, my career was not.  I hope that this last go of it will be my way of finding balance in all areas. I know it won’t be perfectly balanced but I’m working on not neglecting one area too much for too long. 

 

What program are you doing? 

 

Jsackmom: I’m doing the Beach Body on demand plan complete with workout, meal plans, and shakeology. I’m also in a private fitness challenge where I have support and accountability with my fellow group and with my awesome, energizing coach. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: I am incorporating exercise into my schedule including boot camp and fitness classes. I am also trying the Medifast meal plan. 

 

What was the deciding factor for choosing that program? 

Jsackmom: My health, my family, and the pain level I’ve been experiencing has increased. I want to be a Mom who can keep up with their active lifestyles and not have to push through the pain. It’s very humbling to know and feel my age and poor choices affecting my health today. So I want to be that fit, active Mom and running around keeping up with my kids. Also in for their future teaching them healthy ways to eat, grow, and live. I also love the convenience of Beach Body on demand program with workouts 

 Tracy on the Rocks: Boot camp and yoga are paid for by my work and they are right at my office so I have no excuse.  I also have a bunch of co-workers who go and who can hold me accountable and shame me if I don’t show up haha.  As for the Medifast, my friend reps it and honestly I am just lazy. I needed an easy “grab and go” solution because I am sososoos busy and I just don’t have time right now to shop, prepare and cook health meals all week. I opted for just shakes and bars for convenience. I didn’t realize that there is a whole diet/restricted foods business to go along with it. I recommend you do a little research before diving into a system like I did though hahaha. #lazybones

 

What are your ultimate goals with this challenge? 

 

Jsackmom: My goal is to gain strength and cardio endurance and not have to since in pain whenever I have to move from a seated or prone position. I also want to tone up my body and like who I see in the mirror again. 

 

Tracy on the Rocks: My goal is to lose a total of 35 lbs, to fit into my favorite pair of Sevens again, and to feel GOOD about myself again. 

 What strategy do you intend on utilizing to reach your goals?

Jsackmom: I will be using the Beach Body on demand program with access to various workouts. As well as recipes, meal plans, and fitness nutritional products. I also have my fitness challenge group who keep me accountable, 

inspired, and motivated to keep to the course. 

Reply
Forward

 

Jsackmom:

 

Tracy on the Rocks: Accountability!

For nutrition: My girlfriend who I am doing the Medifast through will check up on me with the eating. I also downloaded “My Fitness Pal” app. 

For exercise : My friends at work with yell at me if I don’t come to boot camp and or yoga, and encourage me while I am there. 

Specifically, I intend on losing 2lb/week through the Medifast meal plan and exercise. 

 

 

Tracy on the Rocks: There is no Plan B!! I won’t fai 

 

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#1000Speak-Building from  Bullying 

I’ve been through a lot in my life but you wouldn’t know it unless you read my blog, or I decided to share with you. I’ve lived my life to be a kind, honest, and caring person. I was taught to be loving and patient even when others were not. I was taught to protect the weak and vulnerable, and cheer for the underdog. I’ve learned to turn the other cheek, and push through the pain and turn it into power. 

When I became a victim of bullying it turned my world upside down. I lived in a very small community so if anyone found out you were doing things outside of this bubble you became local gossip fodder. It wasn’t like I was doing anything wrong I was hanging out with my cousin in a bigger town, going to hockey games, and dating a hockey player. When the kids in my school heard about these things it became a mission to tear me down for having a life outside of my country existence. I can’t even begin to describe what I went through day in and day out with the taunting, teasing, and bullying.

I was only thirteen and the things I had to hear, defend, and ignore about myself were devastating. There was a group of boys and they had a ring leader and he made it his mission to make my life miserable. I wasn’t ugly, mean, ignorant, or self righteous but he was. He had everyone convinced that I was gutter trash and wasn’t worth the kindness of a smile, pat on the back, or acknowledgement for any talent. I was a volleyball player and I was good at my sport. I had all these girls from my grade and one above as my team mates. But no one spoke to me except my coach and my assistant.

If my lead bully saw anyone talking to me then they would suffer his wrath as well. So no one dared incur that, and it was easier to make rude comments or ignore me completely. I still continued to play volleyball and I had a couple friends that would talk to me and be seen in public with me, that were in a grade below me. This disgusting, defeating, behaviour only occurred in my classroom. In between classes I could mix in with the swarm of other kids filling up the hallway to get to their next classes. I enjoyed that anonymity even with however brief it was.  There was this time I went to my locker before gym and had noticed that it  had been tampered with.

Someone had splashed something on it and smeared across the door was the words bitch slut! I was born and raised Catholic so I was the furthest from those derogatory terms. I opened up my locker and saw my binders had all been opened up and papers were everywhere, and my wallet was also missing. I was pissed off and I felt the hot, salty, tears run down my face. My teacher came up behind me and told me to go to the office to report it, so I did. Then I walked out to gym class and in between there and the school was a corridor and I sat there on the steps, trying to process my anger. I had my head in my hands wondering what I was going to do I was ready to cry again, when I felt I was being watched. I looked up and this girl who was a fair weather friend came up to me. She leaned over and said “I saw your locker and it’s too bad that you didn’t get your wallet back, I guess you won’t need this anymore!”

It suddenly clicked in my head that she was responsible as she was holding a picture of my boyfriend in his hockey gear. I flew across the stairs and grabbed her and started punching her in the face. I then grabbed and pushed her into a wall and started banging her face off it. She was frantically trying to fight back but I was possessed with a rage of a thousand moments of being bullied. Classes were ending and people started coming through the corridor. I was still punching and kicking and she began crying and screaming for someone to help her.

Suddenly the principal was there and he was pulling me off of her. He was shocked as well as the school secretary, who always knew me as being kind. This wasn’t the same girl who walked into the school and said good morning to all the staff. In the office, passing them in the hallway, and each of their classrooms. I had attended this school system since Kindergarten so I knew everyone very well. I had to sit in detention with the bitch/thief and she sat there with an ice pack over her eye and glared at me, as we faced each other across the room.

I still wanted to bash her face in as she looked at me smugly as our parents were called to come pick us up. My Dad was working and my Mom didn’t drive, and I refused to go anywhere with my Step Mom so I sat in the office the rest of the day. I had to write out an apology letter to my victim and I was still very angry so I remember wording it as I’m sorry you couldn’t defend yourself after you broke into my locker. I’m sorry that you were such a bitch and I had to kick your ass and I got caught. I was suspended for five days and my Mom sent me to my Grandparents so I could have a break from our community gossip circle jerk.

I welcomed it, attended church, looked after the garden, and helped my Gram with meals. She knew I wasn’t a bad kid I was just tired of being bullied. I just wanted to live my life and not hurt anyone. Enjoy seeing my boyfriend play hockey games, go to his house for homemade Italian meals while his Grandma said “mange, mange your’e too skinny.” While I was at my Grandparents I saw a lot of him. He lived not too far away and he’d walk up and meet me after school. I also went to church and asked God to forgive me for my sins, anger, and bad temper. I was taught by my parents that I didn’t start a fight, but I sure finished one if it was brought to my side of the equation. I didn’t get punished from them as I think they were surprised that their sweet, smiling, studious, daughter finally snapped. The victim that had taken the ignorance, defamation, and horrendous behaviour for a year became the bully.

This is not something I’m proud of but I’m neither ashamed. I feel compassion for that confused, hurt, pissed off, teenager I was. I learned my lesson and today I’m a stronger, capable, and confident adult. I don’t let anyone step on my feelings or crush my spirit. I know when situations and people aren’t good for me as I trust my intuition a lot more. Now knowing my own child had to experience being teased, hit, and bullied, has ignited the fire of that child I was. I’ve advocated with the office administration, his teacher, and have even reprimanded his bully. I will not let the sins of the Mother, visit the son.

I teach both of my son’s to stand up for themselves, don’t instigate the fight, but definitely protect themselves. Now in the school system students use the W.I.T.S. program. The acronym stands for walk away, ignore, talk to someone, seek help. Since my son has been playing hockey he’s more confident in himself. And no one gets away with hitting him, teasing him, or bullying him. I will be that parent on the playground watching and waiting and he knows that I have his back always. My cup of compassion runs over with my children, and I am that Mama bear protecting my cubs. But my patience bucket is empty when it comes to bullies, their lack of intelligence, their own self hatred, and fear of not measuring up in society. So I pass down the golden wisdom to my kids that my beloved Mama would always say to me, “love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.” I’m spending more of my time doing this. It’s so easy to get wrapped up into who we were in the past. The true courage is surviving that, and thriving with that knowledge in the present. ❤️

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