Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Gamble

I’ve been living the life of a gambler. I’ve been running on empty for a long time thinking that I can continue this way. I’ve been going on whiffs of exhaustion and sleep deprivation. Reacting strongly with my emotions and easy trigger finger of blame. I have spent more time looking at a bottom of a wine bottle with only tears and rambling writings to show for it. I have spent nights in overwhelming valley and vacationed at heartbreak hotel. I’ve given my power away only to feel like a shell of my former self. 

I have decided enough is enough since my crazy train has run off the rails. I’m taking a gamble on myself and putting myself on my list of priorities. Self care will be my goal each and everyday. I will exercise to walk, run, move my body to feel good. I will get more rest, even if it’s not a lot of sleep. I will find a routine that works for me. I will have fun again as me not just Mom. Where I can laugh, love, find my hobbies that make me happy. I will be with others who share these common interests. I will begin to create again to draw, paint, scrapbook, and craft with my kids and on my own. Art is the way to my heart’s inspiration, love, and light. 

  
Eating well and maintaining a balanced diet of healthy foods will feed my body and nourish my mind. I will be kind to myself, by putting myself first, seeking guidance from my family and friends, and counselling from my therapist. I will get outside and explore my new town and surroundings. I will bask in the fresh air and the sunshine, and get my hands back in the dirt with my love of gardening. I will seek daily ways to relax, not just when the stress is choking me physically and emotionally. I will not gamble with my health and happiness again. I deserve to be fully, completely, safe and comfortable in my skin. 

 I will participate in my yoga practice, keeping mindful with my deep breathing and my temper. I will put my deepest thoughts that aren’t meant to be published in my journal. I will read to fill my mind with beautiful words, my heart with the longing to write my own words to inspire, and my soul with the love of making those chapters part of my being. And when the world is too much for me to handle I will sink into my loves arms and find my solace and believe in myself again. I vow to make my self care an integral part of me that it won’t be a chore, a list of demands to meet, it will be my gift to me. 

This has been my submission to More Than Cheese and Beer please check out her anonymous Sunday confessions and all the talent who link up. Thank you. ❤️

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My #Mommitment music play list

Music is so important in my life it’s the reason I smile, my heart skips a beat, and my true passion in life. I grew up with music playing in my home constantly. From the melodic sounds of Elvis Presley, crooning of John Denver, rock and roll of Creedence Clearwater, and soft sounds of Charley Pride. I heard, learned, and sung it all. There is music that inspires me to write, sing, and create. There’s music that can lift up my spirit when it’s dragging on the floor from being sleep deprived at 2 am from a wide awake four year old. There’s music that kick starts my heart and body into action when I’m in full workout mode. And lastly music that makes me think screw all the haters as I dance around in my underwear like Tom Cruise in Risky Business  Old Time Rock and Roll style. Here’s a few of my personal favourites enjoy. 😃💃🎶
Bitch- Merdith Brooks
I have sung this loud and proud in my shower. Which everyone knows has the best acoustics next to a church. 😃

What’s Up- Four Non Blondes
This song makes me think about the state of the world we’re living in. The judgement, tyranny, anarchy, and pain mixed in with the melting pot of beauty and emotions. ❤️

Zombie-The Cranberries
This song takes my heart to a place where I feel supported, loved, and understood. I had a friend who’s dogs would sing along with us when ever it was played. Rest in peace Stan and Gary. 🌟

Kick Start My Heart Motley Crüe
My all time favourite heavy metal band on the planet. And yes this song has kicked started my heart, energy, and pushed me to the extreme in my workouts. 

Don’t Stop-Fleetwood Mac
This is my theme song in life wherever I go, or wherever I am this song follows me. My heart, my love, my band is Fleetwood Mac. 🎶💞

This has been my contribution to the mixed tape #Momittment movement. I’m so happy and proud to be part of this beautiful ripple in the social media world. If you’d like to learn more about it check out Next life no kids and sign her petition. She rocks hard and so does her truth. 💗🎶🌟


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Friday Feats and Fails 

Hello Friday where have you been? I’ve been searching for you since Monday and couldn’t find you. Whenever you show it up its so wonderful and when you leave I’m so sad. Let’s enjoy the time we have together before another twenty four hour day comes and whisks you away.

FEAT 

I had a great weekend wrap up to my Captain’s hockey season. On the Saturday it was the Dad’s versus the kids game. My husband was the goalie for the kids side. Every time one of them scored he skated to the blue line and high fived them. The Captain loved playing hockey with his Dad, and  I could see and feel his pride. *Sigh* how I love that man with all my heart. ❤️ On Sunday we had a wind up party at the pool. We swam, soaked, dived, played, and slid on the waterslide. It was an absolute blast, I even ran into an old work friend I hadn’t seen in ten years!!!  A great day shared with great company. I can’t wait till the next hockey season. Now onto to decide what the next sport will be. Soccer, baseball, golf, or lacrosse. The choices are endless in the big city!

FAIL

I had to deal with some confusion in regards to my youngest son’s health journey. I applied for finding through my province and received back a letter stating I didn’t have enough medical information. So I contacted my Paediatrician to ask her help. She got very ignorant with me and told me she couldn’t give me a diagnostic letter. I told her I wasn’t asking for that, I was asking for her to write up a letter stating that she made referrals to the children’s hospital. She said she put the referrals in and I needed to be patient and wait and get a diagnostic letter from the neuropsychologists. I responded I don’t want to wait I’m only going to be a case file till the end of May and I’ll have to apply again! She responded with more ignorance and said she could write me up a letter but it’s not covered by my insurance. I just need something that says she’s tested my child and the referrals are going through for more tests. So that will be $100 dollars for two letters ugh I’ve never wanted to throat punch someone so badly before! 😡

FEAT

Ive managed to keep my house fairly clean and get out and enjoy some beautiful spring weather. I also did a meet and greet in town where I didn’t know a soul. I even made some new friends and I went to geocaching three times this week. I love treasure hunting and finding little treasures its so much fun. My kids love it too, especially my youngest as he adds new treasures to his collection. 😊

FAIL

I managed to have ten clean laundry baskets throughout the week so yay me!!! I have four folded, three put away, and three to be folded. I’m totally owned by my bitch laundry. It’s just easier to light a match and walk away. Either that and walk around naked, I’d probably have to invent some creative excuse as to why I was. 😉

I wish I had this sink , I’d spend a lot more time in my laundry room. 😉🍷

FEAT

I was brave this week I stood up for my beliefs and didn’t allow the professionals to dictate to me what I was thinking or saying. I resisted the urge to throat punch bitches, and pushed back when I felt cornered. I crossed my hurdle and started seeing a therapist. I wrote from my heart even though it pained me. It was for the #1000 speak compassion movement called building from bullying. I verbally puked that story out of me as I wrote about my experience of being bullied for a year in high school. I’ve been so fortunate to have it published on the http://www.originalbunkerpunks.com. And my lovely friend bought me a t-shirt to celebrate. I made some new friends and connected with old ones. If you look up in the dictionary for the definition of brave you’ll find my picture. I’ve also been blessed to be nominated for the One Lovely Blog Award from the fabulous https://one mothertoanother.com.  I also guest blogged for https://happylifeaholic.com. My 1000 speak story can be read here 

http://wp.me/p46h5g-kO

My guest post can be read here

https://happylifeaholic.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/thl-guest-post-jeanine-lebsack-my-pursuit-of-happiness/

 

Rocking my new OBP t-shirt. 😃❤️

FAIL

I’ve been fortunate to be co-host this segment Friday’s Feats and Fails recently with the lovely http://www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. And my big fail is not getting my link up in time and to share and promote within social media. I have no excuse but to say I got so busy with trying to complete a book review project, planning my Mad dog’s birthday party, and ran out of time and sleep doing all the above!!! I haven’t been a very good sister and I’ve needed to make apologies for that. I’ve judged a friend harshly for the decisions she’s made, and with zero patience left in my bucket I’ve yelled at my kids, husband, and anyone else who pissed me off.😣

FEAT

 I took a personal day on Wednesday and read all day. I of course parented and enjoyed myself immensely. I need to have more days like that. I was reading the sequel anthology to I just want to pee alone. Oh my sides still ache from laughing and my eyes are red and swollen from crying. Funny, touching, hilarious, and a much needed feel good book. You can read my reviews over at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Special thanks to the awesome http://www.tracyontherocks.com who’s featured in this fabulous book for this wonderful opportunity. Please check out her latest blog post that has the links to all of the lovely Jen Mann books. 😘❤️

 

I want to be in the next group with these amazing, funny, talented, group of writers! I’m fangirl crushing on all of them. ❤️


*Update*

My cousin and her family have been home from the hospital for a week tomorrow. Amazing Grace has been growing well, putting on weight, catching up on sleep, and doing so incredible. Thank you to everyone for sharing/contributing to the Go fund me. All the proceeds will go to providing whatever services, and baby supplies that Grace will needed. And thank you to everyone for all your prayers and support. My family is so grateful for all the kindness bestowed on their precious baby girl. 💖

It’s link up time tell me how your week was. 💞

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One liner Wednesday 

We all have those moments when we feel less than, worthless, and beat ourselves up for our mistakes. I’m no different than you or any other parent in the making a life game. Today my son taught me through it all one sentence can make a difference. 

“Thank you for my happy Mommy” 

This has been my submission to https://Lindaghill.com. Please check out her one liner and all the other talent who link up. Thank you. 💕

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Water

I watch my son
Playing in the water, happily
He splashes, dives, and sings.
Pure joy he brings.

This is my first attempt at writing a Haiku since high school. I’m still not sure is its proper, but it brought me happiness to write it. This is my first assignment for Blogging 201Poetry.

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Writer’s Quotes Wednesday

Well it’s officially Friday and I’m getting my quote in a little late. I’ve decided to go with one of my favorite songs for inspiration. Enjoy and thank you for popping by. 😃

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This has been my submission to http://silverthreading.com. Check out her inspiration and all the other talent that link up. Thank you. 💗

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