Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

The Haircut

I see the long shaggy hair covering his eyes and he’s bent over trying to put his Batman in his Bat mobile. He’s getting so frustrated because he can’t see what he’s doing and this task is taking too long to figure out. I gently offer to help him and he runs away in anger and slams his door. He’s only four and already acting like a teenager. I pick up his toys, walk to his room and gather him in my arms. 

  
I wrap his blanket around him holding him tight in my Mama bear hug. Deep pressure soothes him and I rock until he stops crying. I brush the hair back from his eyes and I say the dreaded words “oh honey it’s time for a haircut.”

 Soon his body tenses and he’s ready for fight or flight. I rock him and tighten my hold till his fear ridden body is limp in my arms. 
The next day I tell my husband our son needs a haircut. He shakes his head and says “well I don’t want to do it.” Neither of us do it’s a two hour ordeal and the emotions overflow and we’re all stressed. We take turns holding our sweet boy who will turn into a howling banshee any moment. It’s my turn to perform the task of completing a decent haircut. 

I assemble my tools scizzors, buzzer, guards, comb, spray bottle, and a cloth. He will not wear a cape so we strip off his shirt and wrap a towel around him. I place his blanket in a clear plastic bag to protect it but so he’s still able to see it. Next I grab the iPad, thermos of water, and a bag of lollipops. 

I call my husband to help wrangle our son and it’s easier to catch a greased pig at a BBQ! He holds him tightly and I begin wetting down his hair. I’m being very careful to not spray his face at the same time singing his favourite song while his Dad finds him his favourite superheroes on YouTube. I begin to comb his hair and I cautiously snip his bangs. This is not an easy task as I venture close to his eyes. 

I comb his hair out a few more times and move to the sides. I gently approach his ears and I’m holding my breath while I cut around this delicate area. Next I move to the back of his head making sure to work quickly now as he starts to wiggle. I move over to other side and you can hear a pin drop as I cut around the other ear. The hair starts falling and covering his face and blanket in the plastic bag. 

I quickly blow it away and brush off his lap. He starts in with a low growl and I back off completely gently soothing him with my singing.  I carry on only to reach an impasse as he doesn’t want to sit any longer. I bribe him with a lollipop and ask his Daddy to hold him in his blanket bear hug. Instantly he’s soothed and I continue cutting. I’m not a hairstylist I have no professional experience whatsoever. Other than cutting his big brothers hair in the classic “page boy” style.

 I comb out his hair and continue cutting until he gets excited with the video and jerks his head and shoulders around. I narrowly miss stabbing him in the back of the neck! I tag team out with my husband and we trade spots. He plugs in the buzzers and I brush the hair away from our sons face and body. I prepare him for the buzzing sound and hold on to him tight because I know this is going to be a bumpy ride. 

His Dad works quickly and efficiently as I tighten my grip and sing louder overtop of the sound of the buzzers. He’s on my lap wiggling out of my arms and it’s like holding a bag of snakes! We’re almost in tears and we quickly wash his hands and face that are covered in hair. I pick up the hand mirror so he can survey our work and he starts to cry he wants all his hair back. A full sensory meltdown ensues while he can’t process what happened and why I can’t put the hair back. This is the invisible cloak that he wears as he tries to process all eight of his senses. 

I can only imagine what this has felt like for him. As much as we prepare him for haircut time it’s still unbearable. We let him run free and then I change him into his pyjamas while I make him a snack and give him something to drink. He sits at the table singing away between bites and I look at his happy face in awe. Just moments ago I imagined that the clippers felt like hot razors attacking his scalp as his body, brain, and central nervous system were in overload. He finishes up his snack, I wash his hands and face and hug him so tight while telling him how proud I am of him. 

He cuddles up with his Dad and watches a cartoon before storytime. I clean up the mess in the kitchen, sweeping, making lunches, and pour myself a stiff drink. I go downstairs and sit and sip while glancing up at my son and his Dad nestled together in the recliner. My husband says “thank you for being a brave boy for Mommy and Daddy.” 
His eyes well up with tears and he holds his Daddy’s face in his little hands and says “you hurt me Daddy.” I watch my husband’s face crumple and we look at each other and silently agree that this will be the last haircut he ever gets at home. This is our life with Sensory Processing Disorder. 

Welcome to the Sensory Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from sensory bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about what it’s like to have Sensory Processing Disorder and to raise a sensory kiddo!

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Friday’s Feats and Fails

Wahoo it’s Friday last week I was drinking beer with my husband this week I’m drinking wine with my sister and niece!!! I love when they come to visit it’s like the sun starts shining bright on my heart. 💗 So let’s do a roundup of how my week was. Cheers my dear readers. 🍷

FEAT

It was hockey weekend and we were off on a road trip. I was so excited to get out of town and do some socializing. I got everyone packed up and we were ready to go in record time. And SIRI even cooperated by giving us better directions when we figured it out in map quest, it was quicker to go around the city than through it! My sons were occupied and for once not driving each other to screaming fits.

FAIL

We were 40 kms from our destination and a bad snow storm blew in. That’s life in the Prairies. Everything’s so flat you can literally see it roll in. We saw some erratic driving as the roads turned to ice very quickly. People were passing us and landing in the ditch every five kms, it was so scary. My youngest was sleeping and my oldest was enthralled with his video game, none the wiser. I was so stressed by the time we arrived at the hotel my fingernails had embedded creases in the palms of my hands!!! I cracked open a beer and I was still shaking!

FEAT

It was a busy weekend and the Saturday morning game was at 8 am. It was very early but I had everyone organized to go the night before so it was a case of being motivated. My Captain played a great game and they won 4-3. They had a break and then we ate and played again at 11:30 am. My Mad dog was doing great he was playing and being entertained with his video game device. We even did some colouring as well. My Captain ended up winning the heart and hustle award for the game and I was so proud of him. He kept looking up in the stands while I snapped pictures. ❤️

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FAIL

We arrived back at our hotel very tired and hungry so it was a potluck in the lobby and I was starving. The team won their game 8-3 and spirits were high, and hockey in the hallway was being played. My Captain was hanging out with his friends, and Mad dog was running all over he was so would up that when I tried to get him from playing floor hockey to eat he just lost it. He was going up and down these steep stairs while I was getting us food. I went to take care of him and he was really upset by this time, and honestly so was I. So I grabbed him and carried him back to the room while balancing a plate of food. I was exhausted, embarrassed, and I literally wanted to crawl under the covers and cry. My husband said I shouldn’t worry we’re all parents and get it. When overtired, over stimulated, sensory, ASD behaviours rear it’s ugly head everyone gets caught in the crossfire.

FEAT

After a cooling off period we went for a swim at the local recreation centre. It was so fun to hang out and relax with my kids. I was very happy to find a hot tub and later meet up with a new friend that I’ve been corresponding with. It’s always a treat to find out you gel with someone in person as well as online. Classy from Classy with a touch of some is my sister from the vineyard. We had a lovely visit, enjoying so wine, laughter, and conversation, and she met my family. I know this isn’t always the norm to meet someone off of Facebook and really bond. I used caution as did my friend and we met in a public place. I trust my instincts and the vibes I get. God always leads me to good people, and good situations as long as I pay attention to my intuition. I have a wonderful friend as the result and we look forward to a much longer visit next time. 😃
FAIL

We made it through the night with very little sleep but had a 10 am game. So breakfast was had at the hotel and off to the rink we went. The opposing team was very good and we ended up losing 7-3. It was heartbreaking to see as my son’s team was up 3-0 in the second period. We were tired and hungry so off for lunch we went. The next game wasn’t till 3:15 pm so that was a long wait. I was already high strung from having to be around a lot of people and keep Mad dog regulated. So I was just going to watch a movie and then wander in the for game. That didn’t go so great as we ended up running for a bathroom and my son had an accident. I cleaned him up and while I washing my hands he took off!!! I was able to catch him in the stands but I was really scared so we went back to the truck again. 😳

FEAT

My Captain’s played for fourth place and still made it into the medal standings. I was so proud of him and how hard he worked and that he kept out of the penalty box this game. We made it home to catch the last ten controversial minutes of the Super Bowl. All in all it was a fun weekend but four hockey games and all the activity was a lot for my sons to process. I will have a better game plan in mind for our next adventure. The next two days I was a sloth. I caught up on laundry and became a homebody for the week. So now we’re working through some potty training aggression so that’s disheartening. I have faith though we’re not giving up the dream of being diaper free, just postponing it, till we get back on track. It was fun to get away, and it’s always so rewarding to get back home. Till next time my friends enjoy your weekend making some wonderful memories. 😊

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This has been my submission to Ash’s Friday’s Feats and Fails. Check out how her week went and all the other talent who link up. Thank you. 😘

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Fridays Feats and Fails

Well this week went by in a blur, there was hockey, theatre practices, a parent council meeting, and very little sleep. So here I am doing a very late post, that’s really how I roll lately. So let’s chat about it shall we?

FEATS

I had a busy weekend with my Captains hockey and theatre practice. I was able to spend the Sunday morning in bed. I got the family ready and out the door for a game and I hopped back into bed. I got some laundry folded, blogging done, returned some emails and texted my lovely Mom friends. ❤️

FAIL

Even though I was kept busy I barely slept. My son, my poor little Mad dog is back to snoring and usually when that happens his sleep apnea affects him. I fall asleep listening to him on the monitor and after he snores he usually stops breathing. The gluten free or low gluten diet and medication regimen isn’t working like I had thought it would. It’s so disheartening to me so I have to get him more blood work done. This isn’t easy with a sensory condition. A lot of time I struggle with just getting him out the door to pick up his brother for school. Which is a huge accomplishment five days of week. And any additional plans met and finished are the icing on the cake of our week.

FEAT

I’ve kept up with cleaning the house and laundry and I honestly feel so good about that. I just get too scattered when I see it piling up and my house turning into a clutter zone. I completed 70 blog posts in 70 days. I’m feeling really proud of myself as I started writing as a 30 day goal and I smashed that!!! I spent the Monday hanging out just relaxing with my family. It was so fun to cuddle, watch Christmas movies as the Captain had the day off of school. After a busy weekend with everyone running in different directions we really need that to reconnect.

FAIL

The sleep deprivation has taken its toll and my fuse has been short. I’ve felt so bad lately like I’ve been a horrible parent. Then my Captain blew up at me and told me I was a horrible Mom and he wanted to live with just his Dad. It crushed my heart, and I realized I can’t help him as much as I wish. What an awful, lonely, desperate feeling that is…. I caught him in a lie, and he exploded on me, and really it wasn’t about the fib it was about his reaction to it. So I know he needs more help than what I can offer with his anxiety. So I signed up for a support group for parents of anxious kids so I can get some helpful advice and meet some other parents.

FEAT

I had a meeting with the home support society and found out I qualify for respite care. I’ll have day time help with an extra support for when I’m home, and a care giver for my youngest so I can have some me time. My husband and I will also be able to have some we time as well. Wahoo date nights after a 6 month hiatus will be so crucial to the communication in my marriage. I’m looking forward to it, although I’m a little apprehensive. I know my Mad dog is in great hands as he met the respite worker and he fell in love. They played in his room for the 3 hour time frame of the interview. He only came out to reference me once to tell me what toys they were playing with. Usually he won’t let me out of his sight for too long. So I pray that the progress will continue to be positive.

FAIL

I failed to pass my eye exam today to get my new provincial drivers license. I had to get myself to an optometrist immediately. Thank God that they had a toy room because my little boy was at the end of his patience bucket. I got there for 2:30 and didn’t leave until 4:30 pm. I had all sorts of tests done, some the usual and some new ones. My prescription has changed drastically and a cataract was discovered. I was not prepared to hear that news at all!!! So now I have to get a full medical work up to find out why the drastic change. I was asking my husband to come get Mad dog so I could talk to the optometrist as I was doing my best not to freak out. But he chose not to and I had to remind him that we do indeed have two sons. So the day was really shit tastic and all I wanted to do was run home and curl up in a ball and cry. But I pulled up my big girl panties and got ready for the opening of my pantomime play and carried on to my next adventure.

FEAT

I was ripped off by a skin care company and I found out the hard way while checking my bank statements. So I ranted, and threatened legal action and got my refund. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT buy anything from the company Dermajuvenate. And if you have, contact them immediately and cancel or your account will get auto ship payments without your knowledge. When something seems to good to be true it generally is. 😖 So I’m considering this both a feat and a fail because I shouldn’t have gotten scammed in the first place!!! These companies prey on women who just want to look good for their age. I will stick with reputable cosmetic companies from now on. My last words to this slimy customer service rep was “karma’s a bitch and you just met her!!!

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FEAT

My Facebook blog page is growing steadily every day. I’m enjoying myself there, and look forward to it being more of a community than just talking to myself. 😉 You can check it out here if you wish https://www.facebook.com/jsackmomblog
I’ve been blessed to be featured by another prominent WordPress blog site called http://featuredemagazine.com/freshly-featured/
I went there looking for some new blogs to read and potentially follow, and I found my own. Words alone couldn’t express how I felt seeing my writing along with all the other incredible talent. Elated, exalted, taken to a whole new level of happiness by that wonderful recognition. 😃❤️🎉
So that’s my week in a wrap up and I’ve learned an important lesson from this wonderful quote that I treasure.

Life is neither good or bad, it’s the thinking that makes it so.

William Shakespeare

Much love and blessings to you dear readers. 😘

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