Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Living in a sensory overloaded world 

Life isn’t always easy and I make the best of it that I can. I don’t think my life is any worse or any better than anyone else’s, it just is what it is. I have never possessed the Staples magical easy button, but if I did look out world! I do daydream about it occasionally to come up with a working model with creativity and a little wishful thinking on my part. 

I’m a product of my own environment and a lot of time spent in my childhood was loud, confusing, and overwhelming. I came into the world and lived in an incubator for a week while I recovered from being sickly and jaundiced. My Mom had a cold and as a result the Dr took extra precautions with me. This was back in the 70’s when it was perfectly acceptable for Mom’s to stay in the hosiptal longer. Going through my own birth experiences I believe whatever emotion, feeling, thoughts, and drugs for pain management are passed from Mother to baby. 

Without having any personal recollection of my time in the spa I can let my imagination wander and say I must’ve loved it. My jaundice was being taken away under the phototherapy lights, I was warm, comfortable, and it was quiet. As I got older I was a child that thrived in peace and quiet because I saw that my Mom did too. She could fill a room with her twinkling laughter and tell a great joke but she loved the quiet of sitting with a good book and enjoying a nice cup of tea. 

We spent many hours enjoying each other’s company with me wrapped up in a world of make believe with my dolls, Sesame Street, Mr. Dress up and The Friendly Giant as my favourite friends. Whenever it would get noisy with having my siblings home I would retreat to my bed and hide under the covers. I had some certain spots for my quiet time up in a tree, in my blanket fort, and when I was very young I was found one time in the dryer sleeping in the warm and cozy laundry. 

When I needed a sensory break from my environment being too cluttered and confusing I would climb. I was confused for being a monkey on many occasions when someone would ask where I was they would see me climbing the tallest tree or onto the horse stock rack then onto the roof of our house!  I was quite blessed by the hand of God that I didn’t fall off and break my neck or worse! 

Now I’m an adult who still loves to climb and build blanket forts with my kids. I have Sensory Processing Disorder and so do my son’s. It’s not anything I could’ve done to change that outcome since it’s neurological. I’ve read enough in the last two years to help me understand my children’s brains and have seen myself on every page! I was quiet, yet boisterous at times, I preferred to read and write stories, or climb trees, and scrape my knees. Just like any other typical child, yet if my world was to loud, bright, crowded and confusing I’d hide away. 

I read that birth trauma particularly placental complications, is known to be a cause of Sensory Processing Disorder according to the book Out of Sync Child by Carole Stock Kranowitcz. If you’re new to this term and haven’t read my blog I will kindly provide you with a definition. 

Sensory Processing Disorder is Sensory processing (sometimes called “sensory integration” or SI) is a term that refers to the way the nervous system receives messages from the senses and turns them into appropriate motor and behavioral responses. Whether you are biting into a hamburger, riding a bicycle, or reading a book, your successful completion of the activity requires processing sensation or “sensory integration.”

*this definition is provided by the website SPD Foundation.*

There are a lot of different processes with SPD where people are affected in certain ways. I’m very visually stimulated and auditory and tactile hypersensitive. Loud noises bother me, I take everything in while scanning my environment, and there’s certain textures I just won’t touch. I’ve lived with this my whole life and  this is known as Sensory Defensive Disorder. My son’s each have the Sensory avoidance and Sensory seeking behaviours.

 I explain it as follows as we each have a bucket that gets filled with each input throughout our day providing for our eight senses to our central nervous system to our brain.  These senses of touch, taste, smell, hearing, seeing, proprioception, interoception and vestibular. 

Proprioception- meaning ones own individual sense of the relative position of neighboring parts of the body, and strength of effort employed in movement. Yes My youngest son isn’t aware of his body in space, and where that begins and where it ends. So crashing into the wall, toys, or his brother are common, and he’s not aware of it until after the fact.

Interoception -is the sense by which one perceives pain, hunger, bowel/bladder control and the movement of internal organs. So in layman’s terms potty training is a bust as of late; my three year old has awareness but no sense of urge control or the urge to eliminate.

 Vestibular- is the sensory system that provides input about movement and a sense of balance. The brain uses information from the vestibular system in the head, to proprioceptive throughout the body to understand the body’s dynamics and kinematics, which describes the motion of objects or groups of objects, without the consideration of causes of motion. Translation meaning when my youngest son is “stimming,” (stimulating all his senses to seek input in his environment) he will spin for an hour if I let him. I prefer swinging-on actual swings- to regulate my vestibular sense. 

 He’s a “seeker”of all kinds of sensory input. Think of it in terms of having a bucket of water with a hole in the bottom, and it constantly needs to be filled up. The clinical definition is Sensory Modulation Disorder. My oldest son has Sensory Defensive Disorder like me. He has a lot of defensive issues with receiving too much input. 

Picture it as a bucket of water that’s constantly filled, and it’s pouring out all over the floor. His issues are predominantly with auditory, visual, and olfactory senses. It’s a full time job keeping all of us sensory and emotionally regulated, but it’s one I do gladly with the help of noise cancelling headphones, regular occupational, physical,  and speech therapy. 

The one thing I’ve come to realize of this journey in our sensory overloaded world is that it does take a village to raise a child, and if there’s special needs involved it grows in size and heart to provide them with success. I do believe that God only gives me as much as I can handle. Sometimes those days are long and difficult and other days are filled with fun and laughter. I’m blessed that they’re also filled with a lot of love, patience, and kindness, and a strong village. 

Welcome to the Sensory Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from sensory bloggers hosted by  Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about what it’s like to have Sensory Processing Disorder and to raise a sensory kiddo! Want to join in on next month’s Sensory Blog Hop? Click here!


  

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Ten Things of Thankful

Another week to celebrate my thankfulness for all things wonderful in my life. Without further ado, on with the gratitude. 😃

1. I’m thankful that I had a wonderful Canada day celebrating with my family. We took in the festivities in not one but two parks and enjoyed music, love, laughter, and fireworks in a sea of red and white. 

2. I’m thankful that I was able to get my daily workouts in even though the weather was hot and dry. I start earlier in the day and it makes all the difference with my energy and stamina to keep up with my busy kids. 

3. I’m thankful that I had a lovely weekend away celebrating my nieces wedding. There really couldn’t have been a better day and venue for a wedding on a mountain top!

4. I’m grateful that my kids took to each new experience they encountered this week with joy and discovery. From riding the chairlift, standing on a mountain top, being still and quiet so everyone could enjoy the wedding vows, taking the trip back and forth from home, hotels, and back home again. 

5. I’m grateful for all the time I spent laughing, loving, and enjoying my family’s company. My siblings are a really wonderful group of people collectively with a sense of humour, intelligence, and kindness. I’m very proud to be part of that circle of love. 

6. I’m grateful for the beautiful weather, mountain top views, nature, sunshine, and God’s blessings to enjoy and appreciate it all. 

7. I’m thankful for new friends made, old ones rekindled, and family’s getting together to celebrate a couple in love. 

8. I’m thankful for hotels late in the night for weary travellers, room service for a hungry family, and hot showers after a long tiring day. 

9. I’m thankful for completing all my work tasks for Bloggy Throwback, even with scant amounts of wifi. And for being featured and published myself as a writer. You can check it out Here

10. I’m thankful for the love of my husband who treated us to a wonderful weekend. Who did all the driving, booked the hotel rooms, and allowed me to stay and enjoy the wedding while he stayed back in the room with our children. Love and hugs for being my pot of gold at the end of rainbow. ❤️

Time to link up and share that thankful bucket of gratitude and love. 😃

Lizzi’s TTOT linkup
  

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Ten things of thankful TTOT Link Up

  
I’m participating in something new today. In Lizzi’s TTOT blog linkup that is celebrating one hundred successful weeks. This truly is amazing as I’ve never known any linkup to last that long. So seeing how I really need to be reminded of things I’m thankful for I had to be part of this momentous occasion. 
1. I’m thankful even as I’m stumbling through my grief I can still have my memories to connect with. Some days they are what gets me through my pain to my power that lies within. 

2. I’m thankful that I have my children who love me, appreciate me, and will cuddle with me when my heart is hurting. 

3. I’m so thankful that my husband will drop everything when I tell him I need him. He is my hero and demonstrates his love in action daily for our family and I. 

4. I’m thankful that I saved every message from the last six months so that I can read my friends words who flies with the angels. It’s helping me feel closer to her and my memories of her friendship. 

5. I’m thankful I had an wonderful birthday and received such an outpouring of love through messages, phone calls, gifts, cards, and hugs and kisses from amazing people in my life. That I feel so truly grateful for today. 

6. I’m thankful for sticking with my back to back fitness challenges even when I felt like giving in. And that I have the hard work to show for it. 

7. I’m thankful for my coach Ryan who’s been there to support me every step of the way. He’s become that drive and ambition that was missing in my life. His encouragement and faith in me has helped me begin to live a healthy lifestyle and rid myself of chronic pain.

8. I’m so thankful at the end of a long day that I have my husband by my side. He’s my love and my soft place to fall when the world is just too scary to take on. He loves me with all he has to give and I’m so grateful that he is in my life. 

9. I’m so thankful for all my incredible online friendships that I’ve made since I started my venture in blogging. Other gifted writers, page admins, and wonderful people who like to come hang out at my Facebook page. It makes my day to see my notifications lit up with their interactions. 

10. I’m so thankful I have a husband who works so hard to provide for our family. With a roof over our heads, our pantry and fridge stocked up with food, and utilities to keep our home running efficiently. 

This is bonus one, I’m thankful for Lizzi for coming up with the brilliant concept of Ten Things of Thankful  list, and for having me be part of it today.  ❤️

https://summat2thinkon.wordpress.com/ten-things-of-thankful/

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Friday’s Feats and Fails

  
Easter weekend is upon us and I’m excited. I always look forward to Easter and all the fun extravaganza of the Easter bunny’s arrival and seeing my son’s excitement. It’s the only time I allow chocolate before breakfast or even candy for breakfast! Well let’s get to the good stuff have a wonderful Easter. 😃

FEAT

I had a really relaxing weekend my husband let me sleep in Sunday and then I spent the morning beta reading. Then we switched off and he napped, while the kids played hockey in the backyard and I started a marathon of the Outlander on tv! Oh my gosh I’m so hooked on it I have to start reading the books!!! Oh be still my Celtic heart. ❤️ I was very fortunate to be a guest post on the http://thehappylifeaholic.wordpress.com

She’s an amazing and inspiring woman and I feel blessed that she gave me that honour. You can see my interview here: https://happylifeaholic.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/thl-interview-jeanine-lebsack/ 

And my blog post here:

https://happylifeaholic.wordpress.com/2015/03/24/thl-guest-post-jeanine-lebsack-my-pursuit-of-happiness/
 

  
FAIL

Due to my beta reading I got a little behind on my housework so I had to do a mad scramble before my Mad dog’s birthday party. It was ok though because overflowing laundry baskets can always be stuffed in a closet. 😉 My husband helped me by vacuuming and I quickly tidied, organized toys, and bedrooms, and made up the goodie bags. It’s so wonderful when we work as a team, I feel less overwhelmed when I have his support. 

FEAT

My husband and I pulled off a great party for our little four year old. We weren’t sure how well things would go because four of the guests were sick and unable to attend. So the two other kids (brothers) showed up with their Mom. It was a wonderful day as the kids are close in age and my husband and I enjoyed getting to know their Mom. It was a blast while the kids played, snacked, and we had a yummy Thomas cake to dive in. 

 

Our birthday boy and his cake face. 😘❤️


 

This cake was so delicious. 😋


FEAT

It’s been a short school week so I’ve got all the laundry baskets folded and put away except for two. I’ve been getting the kids to help me more so I feel better about that. My youngest enjoys helping me, while the oldest grumbles but if wants screen time certain chores have to be done. I was able to have a nice visit with my in-laws as they were just passing through and stayed the night. Once again my house is always at its cleanest an hour before company comes. So we had Chinese food, relaxed and had a few cocktails while the kids entertained us. I took my Captain out of school early and then took him to an appointment to meet the infant and adolescent psychiatrist. He took him for the first half of the visit and then we went in towards the end. My Captain really liked this therapist and said he’d love to go back to see him. He doesn’t think there’s a need for my oldest son to start medication and will write up a report for our paediatrician saying so. I left there feeling like I was on cloud nine finally someone that understood that not every issue in children needs to be medicated. I recognize it’s needed in some cases as well as therapy so I wasn’t completely opposed to it.  Im happy to say that we’ll continue doing what we’re doing with managing his anxiety and getting the school to fill out paperwork to help him with his sensory needs there. 

  
So that brings us to the  weekend of TGIF day so I send you Easter blessings  to you all. Hug your loved ones close, and remember the reason for the season. Thank you for stopping by now it’s time to link up with me and More Than Cheese and Beer and let us know how your week was. 😊🐰🌸🐣

Link up time!

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Fridays Feats and Fails

It’s Friday one day closer to the weekend and wow what a week it’s been!!! I’m excited to share it with you. So let’s get to it shall we? I’m so happy and honoured to be co-hosting Friday’s Feats and Fails with the awesome Ash from http://www.morethancheeseandbeer. This is a new adventure for me so I feel giddy with excitement. 😃🎉💃

FEAT-Amazing Grace

My beautiful cousin brought her baby into the world and I haven’t stopped crying since! Amazing Grace was diagnosed in utero as having mosaic triploidy. According to Wikipedia.org research Triploid syndrome is an extremely rare chromosomal disorder. Individuals with triploid syndrome have three of every chromosome, i.e. a total of sixty-nine rather than the normal forty-six chromosomes. There are only sixty recorded cases across the world. Thanks to the research I found on http://www.mommiesofmiracles.com I’m understanding a lot more. These children are blessings, and although there genetically different abled, they are beautiful gifts to the world. 

A Mother’s Love 💗

Amazing Grace was brought into the world on Tues, March. 10 th at 6:04 am she had a healthy delivery and Mom and baby have been doing well. Grace had a defect with her heart diagnosed in utero and no one has known how long she would be earth side. After receiving a heart scan yesterday my cousin was happy to report this morning, that there are NO signs of the defect!!! God is creating miracles for my family daily as Amazing Grace has been defeating the odds against her since her conception. Just yesterday she opened up her eyes for the first time her Uncle held her. Oh and what a beautiful moment that was!  There has been an amazing photographer that has been capturing Grace’s journey with her Mom and Dad. All images are by Love by Krista Evans Photography and she and my cousin have allowed me to share them with you today. 💕

A Father’s Love ❤️

I read all the updates eagerly each moment that my cousin posts them. Today Grace will have a brain scan as she was also diagnosed with agenisus of corpus callosum. According to research from Wikipedia.org (ACC) is a rare birth defect (congenital disorder) in which there is a complete or partial absence of the corpus callosum. It occurs when the corpus callosum, the band of white matter connecting the two hemispheres in the brain, fails to develop normally, typically during pregnancy. 

Amazing Grace is being tested and evaluated in preparation to going home! She’s  classified as a strong baby, despite the disorders and her early arrival of eight days before her due date. The amount of love and prayers that are surrounding Grace and her parents is incredible! Thanks to Krista at Love by Krista Evans Photography 12,000 people have seen my family’s pictures. To me that means that 12,000 people are joining in prayer power! You can view Krista’s amazing body of work here:

https://www.facebook.com/lovebykristaevansphotography


The love, pride, and powerful energy emanating from this family fills my heart to the brim. 💖

FAIL

I’ve been keeping as positive as I can considering how precious life really is. And my own son has to undergo genetic testing for Fragile X and ASD. According to Wikipedia.org Fragile X  is a genetic syndrome. Nearly half of all children with fragile X syndrome meet the criteria for a diagnosis of autism.[1] It is an inherited cause of intellectual disability especially among boys. It results in a spectrum of intellectual disabilities ranging from mild to severe as well as physical characteristics. I’ve had my moments when I’ve dissolved into tears, yelled, cursed, and locked myself away in my pity party of one.

My incredible family has shown me I can have those moments but I just can’t unpack and live there. So other than not cleaning since last weekend, not keeping up with folding my laundry as that relentless bitch is owning me. I’ve been enjoying the sunshine, adventuring with my kids, and counting my blessings. And really appreciating the miracles in life like Amazing Grace’s journey with her phenomenal parents. The strength they’ve shown has been remarkable. In my cousins words to prepare for a life half way through pregnancy, then a possible death, back to preparing for her baby’s life is an extraordinary blessing. I know God will continue to watch over and bless them as they are all miracles of the heart.  💞

Amazing Grace.💖

FEAT

My Captain’s hockey play off round ended for him last Saturday. It was a disappointing loss with some questionable referee calls that ended in a 2-1 loss. It was an exciting game, but I’ll be honest and say this part of being a hockey Mom really sucks. It was so hard to see those disappointed expressions on those sweet children’s faces. They played a great game though and they still have their practices, parents against the kids game, and windup party to look forward too. It was Father son time the next day as my husband took our Captain to work. They both looked so handsome as they dressed up in a shirt and tie. I haven’t seen my son dressed up since his first communion last year. It struck me how fast he’s growing up! I’m so proud of his accomplishments on and off the ice. ❤️

I have so much pride for my Captain and his team. 😃

We also had a major accomplishment as my little Mad dog and I attended the play group specifically for children with special needs. He loved it there as it was fun and manageable with a small group of kids. The most touching moment was when my son thanked me for his happy. I was in awe of him and his gift of understanding in the moment. After the group we attended the indoor playground and he did very well being around more children and some noise. We were both happy to nap when we got home. 😴

“Thank you for my happy Mommy.”

So here we are back to Friday and since our Netflix is M.I.A. due to Mad dog resetting all the information we’ll be watching movies. My wonderful husband picked up Night at the Museum for family movie night and Mocking Jay Part 1 for after they go to bed. Thank you for being here today and please check out everyone else’s post who links up today. 💕

That’s my Friday’s Feats and Fails how’s your week been?

This is going to be an amazing weekend of watching the currents and the classics. 😃🎉


It’s link up time! Don’t mind the HTML code I couldn’t convert it back to text just click on the link below that say inlinkz. 😉

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Dream

I had a dream that most people thought was fiction when I wrote about it. It really wasn’t it was an amazing event that I feel blessed enough to experience. I wrote about it, submitted it and it was published in an International magazine. I was so elated and pleased that I was chosen. And here I am two months later thinking about that dream I had. I’m even dreaming about it, and I let it take me away from my life which has been difficult to bear at times. I wonder where this little girl that I know so well from my childhood dreams will lead me. Will she take me to her favourite places tucked away in a country hillside? Will she lead me back to feelings I had when I heard stories of my Grandma’s Celtic ancestry? Will she talk to me and tell me of her joys of her childhood even though it was a short one? 

I dream of this sweet little girl with the strawberry curl and long to hear of her memories of a family that adored her, and mourned her greatly after her death. I wonder what she remembers about her life. What was her favourite toy, did her doll have a name, what was her special lullaby her Mom sang to her night? My dreams are full of her smiles, the lilt in her voice, and adorable laughter that echoes in my mind long after I wake up. I wonder what she dreams about her parents faces, her siblings smiles, or the beautiful life she’s living now. I wonder who she would’ve been if she was allowed to grow up. I wonder if she’d have children and who she would name them after. I know how much she was loved and adored as it was my Grandma’s baby sister in my dreams.

 She died so tragically and anytime my beloved Gram told the story I would wipe away her tears. I can only imagine the grief and shock the family would feel with her loss. I went searching for her in the death records I had access to through my work. I couldn’t find her and it was so distressing so I prayed to her,

and this is where I am today. She has been located, and due to her untimely death she didn’t have a grave marker. She will now though, I have a family member that will be making her one. After all these years I’m so happy that she will have this closure and honour. And when I go back to my hometown I plan on visiting her. I’ve never seen a picture of her but I always have the one from my dreams. Rest in peace sweet angel, you may be gone but you will never be forgotten. 

This has been my Sunday confession for http://www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Please check out her facebook page for anonymous confessions, her talent,  and all the other dreamers that link up. Thank you for being here. 💗

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Attachment

I think we’re all attached to something in life, in one way or another. I’m personally attached to my love for my family, accolades on my writing, and to characters in books I’ve read. I’ve been so attached to the outcome of a movie I’ve been transfixed by my tv. I think there are healthy attachments and unhealthy ones as well. I will focus on the healthy ones as my love for my husband and our children.

They’re attached to my heart in a way I never believed possible. When I walked down the aisle to my future husband, being led by my loving parents was a magical moment. I felt their attachment to me being the youngest and the last one to marry. I felt attached to them and their love and guidance over the years. As I was leaving them behind as an adult and attaching to my future with my husband to be. The first moment I saw my precious babies come into the world I was attached to my love for them, and how I would guide and protect them as my parents did me.

Now I’ll focus on unhealthy attachments as I think both bases should be covered. I was once attached to an unhealthy relationship. I thought he was an ideal boyfriend. He was the quarter back of the football team, volunteer in the community, and had a small part time business while attending high school. I fell for him pretty hard especially when he buttered me up with fantastic comments. They were good for my ego but not for me. He started out all sweet and charming and had met my family I was living with at the time.

As our relationship progressed I noticed little signs of his manipulation. He spent money on me lavishly. I had my hair and nails done, he loved going shopping with me while I tried on outfit after outfit. I loved all the attention and my kind nature over rode my impulsive one at times, while I said stop, I can’t afford to pay you back. He constantly dismissed me and what he called my foolish notions. My reality came crashing down when we were going away on a school trip. He arrived to pick me up and he was very sullen and quiet.

Due to it being very early in the morning I understood, and continued to babble on about my excitement. We got to our destination and we’re boarding the bus and he goes to the back, and sits with a friend. So I’m thinking this is strange and I sit with some people I knew. After a long ride we finally arrive at the location and I walk up to him and hold his hand. He shrugged me off and says “no, not here” so I let him go. I soon learned that this was the beginning of the end.

I don’t really know anyone but a couple of people and my new boyfriend. I gravitate towards them and try to fit in. I feel really dejected as this is a very close knit group of people. I grab my gear as I’m on a camping trip out in the wilderness, and head up the hill. I set up camp and sit down to build a fire. I gather rocks, twigs, and dead leaves. I’m not the best tent builder so I turn around to adjust it and this wind blows out of nowhere.

I suddenly smell burning as I’m trying to hold onto my tent from blowing away! The wind gust has blown sparks all around and my campsite is starting on fire! I trying to grab blankets and beat them out and I end up spreading them and a spark blows up into my hair!!! I’m freaked out right now and screaming while grabbing my water bottles. Suddenly there’s a noise as a stampede of people comes running through the trees. I’m shocked at their arrival as the smelled the smoke and came running. I try to explain that I didn’t intentionally try to burn down the forest, but with the tinder dry conditions things happened very quickly.

My teachers start gathering my supplies and I look over at my boyfriend (who could be my ex by this time) and he looks mortified. It’s amazing isn’t it how I started this post out about how I’m in love and attached to my family, and my past attachments come trickling in? Now that’s a story and experience I must learn to detach from. It goes to show you where I learned to appreciate negative attachments to more positive ones. And there’s a few more stories in between me getting to that realization. As they say that’s a story for another day, and another stream of conscious thought.

This has been my submission to
http://lindaghill.com/2015/02/13/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-february-1415/
I know it’s Sunday and I’m posting this now. I posted as a draft and forget to change it to publishing. I’m attached to being involved as I love Linda’s Saturday Stream of Consciousness.

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Writer’s Quotes Wednesday

I read this quote today when I found it on the Facebook page Title Wave
https://www.facebook.com/TitleWaveforBooks
I was transfixed by the beauty of it and how I felt it was written just for me.

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This has been my submission to http://silverthreading.com please see what creation she came up with, and all the other talent who link up. Thank you.

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