Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

It takes a village

I recently took a physical for life insurance purposes. My nurse was kind and polite and when I was asked why do I take an anti-depressant when your otherwise healthy? I simply replied “I’m a special needs parent who’s always advocating, teaching, learning, researching, and loving my family I have to cope somehow.”

The look of surprise that crossed his face was something that I’ve seen before. I’ve had people ask me how do you do it, deal with autism, ADHD, ODD, SPD, and a genetic neurological disorder that affects everything from motor skills, to recessive language delay, to selective eating issues due to textures, smells, and shapes of food.

I have no other answer other than I don’t think about it I just do it. All of it needs to be done always. I need to advocate for my children so that they can have access to resources, funding, and therapy inside the school system and outside within the community. I need to keep up with the latest research on my son’s genetic disorder so I know how to help him specifically and what other co-morbidities I need to be aware of. I also need to teach him about number and letter recognition so he can begin to print what he knows. I have to deal with regression as it’s the part of his brain that’s affected by his micro-duplication.

I need to check, double check and help my son re-learn when he’s lost his ability to process what he’s learning in school. He’s come a long way with his progress from screaming if I tried to help him hold a crayon in preschool to printing his name confidently in elementary school. Now his world’s growing bigger as he attempts to make sense of all those letters on the page and learn to read. I remember what joy I felt when my Mom introduced the magical world of books to me.

I long to see that light in my son’s eyes that I know appeared in mine. Yet I see him stumble on three and four letter words and in frustration throw the book across the room. At the moment we’re working on his reading comprehension so that he can create the story from what he sees illustrated on the page. As for the phonics and word recognition I’m using a multi-sensory approach as well as his special education resources teacher does in the classroom.

1. First I print the word then I get him to to tell me the letters and we sound it out and say it together.

2. Next I have him build it with his alphabet letters on the line below.

3. After he prints the word with his pencil.

4. Then we go over the word and use it in a sentence and repeat with the remaining words.

Sometimes he only has enough patience for three words but to me it’s quality over quantity. I learned the Write, build, print method from an amazing website called Understood. I love this website as I now have a resource that’s there to help us both on our learning journey.

When I see the furrow in my son’s brow as he concentrates to maintain his alligator grip on his pencil I marvel at his independence. He sings a little song as he does so. Alligator grip then my pencil doesn’t slip. Then when he’s completed his task his beautiful smile makes his whole face light up. I’m excited to incorporate building Lego into his learning as we work on math next.

I have five months to prepare him to catch up with his peers and continue onto the next grade. He has an excellent team at school who’ve been there to help with his frustrations, transitions with the use of visuals and successes. My son teaches me just as much as I’m teaching him this why I choose medication for myself and seeking the guidance of a therapist.

No parent is an island and it takes a village to raise a child. When it’s a child with special needs it takes strength, courage, and a bigger, non-judgemental village. I need to be able to cope with this roller coaster of a life we lead. I need to stay on task and ten steps ahead of a sensory overloaded meltdown. Most importantly I need to take care of myself and repair what I feel is broken. My mental health and the well being of my children depend on it.

Welcome to Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from special needs bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo — from Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next month’s Voices of Special Needs Hop? Click here!

18 Comments »

Hotel living 101-special needs parenting

A month ago I embarked on a journey to pack up my truck and my kids and headed out on a new adventure. My husband has been working away for 3 months and after solo parenting, recovery from a broken arm, and listing our house for sale I was done! I counted the days till my kids were out of school and got out of dodge.

Once we arrived tired, sweaty, and dis regulated late at night that's when the real fun began. It was a long trip and after listening to my kids nit picking each other for 7 hours. I arrived disheveled and I needed a time out. I love my children but I was "needed out" and wanted to forget my name was Mom. But who would answer if I don't? My husband was off limits as he was attempting to sleep with working the next day. I went into action mode and set up the pullout couch for the kids. I jumped into my pyjamas and crawled into bed. My youngest son was stimming and in need of sensory input and regulation so we needed to fill that asap!

I walked around the hotel and read books and gave him deep pressure hugs that only his Mama can give. Inside I was praying for him to go to sleep as he jumped out of my lap and rolled around on the floor. I felt the need to explain to the front desk hotel staff that my son has autism and not able to follow the quiet time rule after 10 pm rule. He gave me a nod of understanding and I carried on with my regulation methods.

Finally by midnight my son was sleepy so I put him to bed. Meanwhile my brain was on hyper drive as the events of the day piled up and reduced me to tears. I lay there on the cold bathroom until my crying subsided then fell into bed into a deep sleep.

I woke up in the morning feeling like I had ran a marathon then someone had run me over and left me for dead. I needed to eat, shower, brush my teeth, and unpack. Breakfast was complimentary and a Godsend. My youngest son was fascinated with the pancake machine as he pushed the button an they fell onto his plate. Thank God for these little gifts as this held attention long enough for us to get through breakfast and back to our room.

5 ways to survive hotel living special needs style

*Beforehand research your list of hotel options and book one with pool, gym, and spa facilities. Luckily my husband's company took care of that for us in advance.*

  • Swim daily and spend as much time there as you can in order to wear your children out. That includes numerous trips to the water slide and to the hot tub. Water can have a regulating affect on children with sensory disorders if there's no Sensory Defensiveness present and they're comfortable being immersed in a pool.
  • Invest some time in the gym. I go there weekly with my kids to work out. Even at the ages 10 and 6 there's machines they can use like the treadmill, elliptical, spin bike, and free weights. It's a wonderful way to feel healthy and deal with stress.
  • Provide sensory friendly cut up fruit and vegetables for snacks. The crunchy foods provide the sensory seeking benefit as well as toning the jaw muscles. With my sons hypotonia condition in his jaw this is a huge benefit to his sensory diet.
  • Cut back on junk food for snack time. My kids tend to be sponges for everything they absorb like sugar and food dyes. Trust me you don't want a sensory overloaded mind and body meltdown within close quarters in a hotel room!
  • In one word Netflix plus additional DVD's, colouring books, crayons, felts, wipe board books, and washable markers on those inside days when you're too tired to move.

Maintain your children's sensory diet even while on vacation. Move as much as possible explore your local parks, playgrounds, and the city itself. On days when the weather's miserable have board games, puzzles, crosswords, and structured time on electronics. I stress this one as you don't need to struggle with the affects of a dopamine crash after a limit is not followed. We also signed up for the Kids Bowl Free summer program and that's fun for the whole family.

My kids became very creative through the pleas of I'm bored and built themselves and indoor bowling alley that kept them entertained for a few hours. They also did some crafts, painting, and worked on maintaining fine motor strength playing with thinking putty and play dough. Our favourite thing to do is play make believe as they pretended they were superheroes and the world was being covered in lava. I watched my kids jump from bed to bed and marvelled at their imaginations.

After a month of hotel living I'm confident I made the right choice to reunite as a family. I wanted my kids to have a fun summer instead of being stressed about keeping a clean house for showings while attempting to sell. Now I spend my spare time reading, writing, organizing housing information and counting off the days till our new homes possession date then the fun starts again with packing and unpacking. Whatever comes our way we'll get through it as being together as a family is the best place to be.

Come to the Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop. A monthly gathering of posts hosted by the http://www.thesensoryspectrum.com/and http://www.thejennyevolution.com/category/voices-of-special-needs/

Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo. From Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next months Voices for Special Needs Blog Hop. Click http://www.thesensoryspectrum.com/sensory-blogger

Leave a comment »

Sensory Processing Disorder and me-friend or foes

I’ve shared a lot about what it’s like being a parent to children with SPD. One is an avoider of sensory input and one is a seeker and can’t get enough input in his bucket. He keeps emptying his bucket over and over throughout the course of the day. Whereas his brother after a long day of school has a bucket that’s overflowing and can’t take one more cup of input. This is when Mom becomes the referee and I need to separate my sons before World War 3 happens! I do my best to keep them emotionally regulated but it becomes a full time job and I wind up exhausted and depleted. Like my oldest son I also have SPD Sensory Defensiveness in particular. Loud, sudden high pitched noises bother me, more than one person talking to me at a time is like chaos for my brain and body. My central nervous system processes sensory input most of the time effectively. Then there are those days when the world is too busy, loud, bright, and overwhelming. Sometimes I feel so hypersensitive to the world around me I can hear the energy crackling like a campfire. 

Those are the days I put up my hood and read a good book with a cup of herb tea or escape to my bed with my soft, fuzzy blanket and put on my headphones and listen to my meditation music. I need comfort in those moments when my ears feel like they’re bleeding from listening to my children squabbling over the iPad while three different TV’s are playing in the background. I have to resist the urge to bite my fingernails with the anxiety I feel inside. All I want is to chew on something soft and rubbery like an eraser but I don’t because my kids have gnawed on all the pencils like a couple of beavers. In those moments when I feel like the world is closing in on me and I can’t breathe I rock myself gently and I sing. Whenever I was a little girl my Mom would hold me on her knee and rock and sing with me. She’d rub my back and give me deep pressure Mama bear hugs. I’d give anything to go back to those memories and pluck her out them so I could have her in my comfort zone. But unfortunately that’s not possible as she travels a heavenly path while I’m earth bound. My Mom never made me feel like I was wrong or different. She told me I was a special child of God and my “quirky” nature made me uniquely me. When I was a child I spent a lot of my time reading the Classics like Shakespeare, Dickens, Louisa L. Maycott, and Lucy Maude Montgomery. 

I related so much to those characters who thought out of the box and wrote stories and climbed trees like I did. The poetry and beautiful descriptive writing of William and Charles made me want to write like them and capture the worlds interest with my words. So I wrote getting lost in fantasy worlds, epic battles, and fascinating history. This is when the world was a quiet place as I scribbled away in my notebooks filling pages with my prose and poetry. I’m still like this as an adult where I require quiet time daily and my sons are forthright about asking for their private bubble to decompress in. The stress chemicals can build up throughout the day and we need to release them or end up sending our central nervous systems into sensory overload. No one wants that to happen so we give each other the space that we require. Now you add in a few more letters of the alphabet like ASD, ADHD, ODD, and OCD you’ve got a melting pot of hot soup that no one can handle. Those are the times where I ask my children what they need to make their bodies feel better. Or how fast is your engine using the zones of regulation, of which my youngest son has a thorough understanding of this concept. 

Since facial expressions can sometimes confuse him and his recessive language with conversational verbal fluency is severe. He will then tell me what colour he is or ask me what colour I am. It’s an excellent way for him to communicate and be receptive to others feelings.  A breakdown of the colours and their meanings:

Blue- feeling tired or sad

Yellow-feeling nervous or scared 

Red-feeling mad and angry

Green-feeling happy and smiling

With my oldest son who has a better grasp on receptivity I have a diagram of a thermometer and I will ask him how fast his engine in his car is, and he can tell me or show me using the zone regulation colours. Sometimes are tempers are short, our explanations are long winded, and our bodies not regulated  and we react to the stress and pressure of the hot soup and we blow up. That’s when it’s important to remember forgiveness and our brains are just wired a little differently. It’s amazing what love, a deep pressure hug,  and a cup of hot chocolate will accomplish when words fail to save the day. That’s when I feel that even when SPD appears to be a foe when dealing with the chaos and it’s just too much ; I take that moment to breathe letting myself inhale the positive and exhale the negative and realize that it’s my friend after all guiding my family and I to better days ahead filled with love and patience.
Welcome to the Sensory Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from sensory bloggers hosted by The Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about what it’s like to have Sensory Processing Disorder and to raise a sensory kiddo!

8 Comments »

A-Z challenge Brave

I recently started the blog linkup challenge of all the letters of the alphabet. I started writing them and left them in a draft status. For the next few days I’ll be publishing them and I’m thinking I’m either brave or crazy for doing so.

Word prompts always get my writing creativity flowing and I tend to write whatever pops into my head. Sometimes that’s refreshing and other times it leaves me feeling vulnerable. I recently shared that my son was diagnosed with autism on World Autism Awareness day. I considered writing about it with the beginning A of the alphabet but I chickened out and I wrote about acting instead. It’s a very personal part of my family life to discuss but this is what it feels like to be brave in print.
We started out on this journey two years ago when I was aware of my son’s developmental challenges. He took his first steps early at ten months when we had just moved into a hotel. My husband had just got a job transfer to a new town while we were attempting to sell our house in the previous one. By the time our youngest son was twelve months he was running and had a small list of foods he would eat.
He also wouldn’t sleep for long periods of the night even after cutting out his first nap of the day. I was living on caffeine and Carnation instant breakfast shakes. He was on the move constantly and I would take him to his brother’s school to attend a play group, and there I noticed he wasn’t behaving typically like other children in his age group. I watched as he grabbed toys and played beside me while I participated in craft time and play dough making. He wouldn’t touch any of it nor interact with other children.
He would also have a difficult time with crowds if the classroom was too busy. I chalked it up to tiredness and I’d take him back to our room for nap time. The vacuum would scare him and he didn’t like surprises or things he couldn’t predict. I had always referred to him as my sensitive boy when he was born as he was quiet but could get his feathers ruffled quickly. It got to be exhausting keeping him calm, well fed, and happy as he was easily sensory overloaded.
He was tactile hypersensitive and never liked to touch his finger food, play dough or the rice table. I had at this time become good friends with the facilitator of the playgroup and I asked for her guidance. My son had turned two by this time and had finally started sleeping through the night as we had moved into a rental house when he was eighteen months old. It was an adjustment for our family but one I welcomed after living in a hotel for seven long months! The staff was incredible to us and thought of us like family. They made the long days of dark clouds and rain bearable.
I feel brave for having gone through that experience and yet I had this feeling that my son needed more interventions. With the help of my friend the children’s facilitator she referred me to a child development agency. Then came the next few months of evaluations and questionnaires regarding my son’s development. He was approaching the age of three and still was behind in his gross, fine motor skills, as well as speech delayed.
Those assessments led us to a developmental Pediatrician that diagnosed my son with Sensory Processing Disorder in particular Sensory Modulation Disorder. This is when the central nervous system is seeking out sensory input to deliver that message to the brain and the rest of the body. My son had no fear, he’d climb a six foot bookshelf and jump on to the couch below! He’d also empty every book out of that shelf and dump out toy boxes. I would be in tears trying to put my house back together daily.
In that time I did a lot of reading staying up late burning the midnight oil with learning everything I could about SPD.

My husband had gotten another job transfer out of the province and I was doing my best being a solo parent. The nights were long as my son had begun snoring which isn’t your normal behaviour of a toddler. We saw an ENT that diagnosed him with a sleep disorder but said he was unable to do anything about it.
It was a struggle for the next three months but I persevered found us a house, got us packed up and moved into another hotel while waiting to take possession of our new home. I hardly slept and luckily my son was still napping so I’d catch up on sleep with him.

My oldest son was also suffering with some anxiety and I had to keep reassuring him constantly that he would make friends and enjoy his new school. I got him involved in a summer camp and started moving and unpacking all our belongings.
The next few months I spent my every waking minute making our house a home. The school year started and with that brought some more anxiety in the form of my oldest son getting bullied. I had to deal with this issue for the next three months. The office administration got to know me well as I was always requesting a meeting.

Finally that worked out as I got some school counselling and his teacher to help out.
Meanwhile I was attempting to socialize my youngest son as his vocabulary was starting to increase. We met a sweet friend and we attended a play group. It was very busy, loud, and crowded and my son didn’t do well at all. Nap time was a Godsend as the environment left me feeling sensory overwhelmed as well. After that, we attended play dates with our new friend and her family. It was special to have picnics at the park and birthday party fun.
When my son turned four we started to think about preschool as he was almost fully potty trained. It had taken awhile but we worked all summer towards his accomplishment. We did all the assessments with a speech, physical, and occupational therapist who found out he was Globally Developmentally Delayed. Meaning he had a severe delay in one or more of his developmental skills.
We worked hard to obtain funding and now he attends a wonderful preschool and has funding for a therapy team. He just turned five and will be transitioning to Kindergraten in the fall. With knowing he has autism there’s been a push in the right direction to get him the funding and behavioural aid support he needs. My son has a lot of challenges in life but ones he’s always faced head on with his tenacity and strength. I see a future full of success, determination, and substantial support. He’s our family’s blessing and the sky’s limitless for him and what he will achieve.

1 Comment »

Science of Parenthood book review

  
Have you ever had a book come into your life right when you needed it the most? I have a handful of times it’s like the right book was searching for me as I was it. This marvellous book I’m referring to is the Science of Parenthood written by Norine Dworkin and illustrated by Jessica Ziegler. 
I signed up to be part of their #Boogiewipes Science of Parenthood blog tour and I’m also proud to be a #Boogieblogger. I received this book as an ARC (acquired reading copy) for my honest review. It arrived in my mailbox on Christmas Eve and I was tickled pink to see it there. I eagerly dived into it getting lost in the pages while my cookies baked and I left my kitchen a disaster. 

Covered in flour and cinnamon is how I spend most of my December with Christmas baking so that day  was no different. My son had been sick nineteen days out of the month so I was grateful for my reading break! I began to giggle as I read the scientific explanations of what Norine had explained in relation to parenting. 

To say I liked this book is an understatement I absolutely loved it! The information backed up with scientific data as well as the tongue and cheek way it was presented made me giggle late into the night under my covers hoping I wouldn’t wake my sleeping household! I really related to to the chapter on Darwin Parents: Adapt or Die! As I believe this is what parenthood is all about. Constantly adapting to sleeping, feeding, bathing yourself and your children. Then just when you figure it out and get cocky and say out loud “I got this” your kids will change up the game and you’re back at square one! 

My favourite paragraph in the chapter is as follows:

“Whoever coined the phrase “change is good” clearly never woke up every two hours to feed a newborn. Or paced 26.2 miles round the living room, trying to soothe a screaming infant. Or went ten days without showering because she was too exhausted to care. Or notice.”

It’s like the heavens opened up and the clouds parted and the angel chorus sang Hallejuah to me when I read that, because this is my life! My kids were never sleepers, not the babies that you bring home from the hospital and are sleeping by one month. No they never got that memo and I’m still trying to fax it to my son’s bedside at 4.5 years old! 

The chapter on potty training left me in stitches as we went through it last year. He was a little late with all of the steps with having some special needs. Now it’s a big production in the bathroom I cringe when I hear those words “come see what I did Mommy, it’s right there!” Then the road trips for hockey I hear “stop the truck I have to pee.” But you just went before we left the house.” Which means nothing to a preschooler.  I soon find out it’s much more fun to pee on Daddy’s tires than a toilet! 

  
Reading this graph had me hysterics as we go through this every time we go to grocery store or are stuck in a lineup shopping. I ask all the questions as described and get a no, I’m fine, let’s go, then it’s holding his bottom screaming “I got to go now!” It makes running errands an Olympic event as I pick up my child and run through the aisles to find the nearest bathroom. 

  
This particular case above wonderfully illustrated by Jessica described my Christmas. I love to build things Legos, blocks, puzzles you name it I want to build it. I was so excited to give my oldest son a box of Connext so we could build some awesome structures with it. He was kind enough when he opened it to say “thanks Mom that’s cool” but I seen his eyes light up when guitar hero was the next gift unwrapped. I just can’t compete with rock and roll so if you can’t beat them join them. 

This book is a must have for every expectant parent it will be my token baby shower gift from now on. It’s leading the charts in the categories of Parenting, Motherhood, and Funny books and is available on Amazon. I would recommend Science of Parenthood to anyone that’s done daycare it will keep you laughing. You’ll be nodding your head in agreement so much like me you’ll think you’re one of those bobble head dolls! Enjoy then you can say you read a book like this famous Doctor who’s definitely one of my favourites. 

“The perfect field manual for all the parents out there who can do nothing else with their day but laugh.”

-MEHMET OZ, MD, father, grandfather, and Emmy Award-winning host of the Dr. Oz Show. 

(So true Dr.Oz)

  
About the Authors

Norine Dworkin-McDaniel 

Norine is the co-author and principal writer of Science of Parenthood. A longtime magazine writer, Norine’s articles and essays have appeared in just about every women’s magazine you can buy at supermarket checkout as well as on The Huffington Post, Parenting.com and Scary Mommy. Norine is the co-author of You Know He’s a Keeper…You Know He’s a Loser: Happy Endings and Horror Stories from Real Life Relationships (Perigee), Food Cures (Reader’s Digest) and a contributor to several humor anthologies, including Have Milk, Will Travel: Adventures in Breastfeeding(Demeter Press). She lives with her husband and 9-year-old son son in Orlando.

Jessica Ziegler

The daughter of famed New Yorker cartoonist Jack Ziegler, Jessica is Science of Parenthood’s co-author and illustrator. In her “off hours,” Jessica is the director of social web design for VestorLogic and the writer/illustrator of StoryTots, a series of customizable children’s books. Jessica was named a 2014 Humor Voice of the Year by BlogHer/ SheKnows Media. Her writing and illustration have been published on The Huffington Post, InThePowderRoom.com, Vegas.com and in Las Vegas Life and Las Vegas Weekly. She lives with her husband and 11-year-old son in Denver.

 Together, Jessica and Norine are the creators of The Big Book of Parenting Tweets and The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, published earlier in 2015. 

Science of Parenthood is available in soft cover and e-book on Amazon

Follow along on these Social Media Links:

Facebook

Twitter 

Pinterest

Instagram 
Visit the website to see where abouts Norine and Jessica are on the #Boogiewipesblogtour. 

Follow along to see the Book tour Cities/Dates it might be in your town next. 

2 Comments »

Monday Musings Worry

Waiting for days on end for news that I’m praying will be positive instead of negative. I watch my son’s behaviour to indicate if he’s having seizures and I’m missing out on documenting them. My mind can go in a thousand different directions without hearing any results for a month. And trust me it has, is this how my life is supposed to be in constant worry for his health? 

I never knew when I rubbed my belly at eight months protecting him from the news of my Mom’s death that I would be in this state of mind now. I never knew with him arriving at thirty-six weeks we would encounter all these medical issues. I wasn’t prepared for my one and only Mom’s death, nor ready to to give birth prematurely. 

I went home from the hospital reeling with grief while my baby had to stay behind in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive care unit) I had a four year old son and a husband that needed me and I felt so torn. All I wanted was my Mom to hold me and tell me everything would be alright. But I didn’t have her then and I don’t have her now. 

Being a special needs parent feels a lot like venturing out on a lonely road to find my happy, peaceful place in my mind and body. A lot of the time reading and researching helps so I know how to approach Dr’s and specialists with my questions. What is the reason that my son’s Global Developmentally Delayed, why does he struggle so much with basic concepts of visual spatial relations and verbal fluency with his conversational speech? 

Why does he suffer with anxiety, OCD, and possibly ADHD behaviours?  I’m told he was born early so he would be delayed to reach his developmental milestones. Which is half true he sat up and crawled later then his peers, but walked early and ran laps around me by the time he was fifteen months. Yet there are challenges, his speech was delayed, he had a high threshold to pain, but a weaker immune system and was sickly as a baby. 

Life has turned into a system of checks and balances he’s been tested for genetic disorders, allergies, and I’ve completed many developmental questionnaires. To date he’s had a polysonogram and an EEG that will be followed by an MRI and surgery to help improve his severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea Disgnosis. He has a wonderful therapy team that is helping him succeed so I question myself what do I have to worry about? 

I worry for his future will he hold down a job, graduate and go to college, meet someone special and fall in love? What will it be like when he does and he gets his heart broken? How will he cope with his anxiety, how will I? Will he still be living with us or in assisted living? I pray he will be continue to be his own success story as I cheer every accomplishment he makes. The latest is remembering words to the Christmas carols he practiced in preschool. As well as being able to sing Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes while performing the actions. 

When we would sing that song before he’d get so confused and start yelling and putting his hands over his ears to block out all the excess information flooding his brain. I had to explain to his preschool teachers that the song irritated and I think even scared him. It broke my heart to see his reaction so after three months of therapy he can sing the song with a smile on his face. Then I think you don’t have anything to worry about he’ll be fine. I’ve heard this from well meaning people in my life and I always say he will be with the proper early intervention in his life. 

The call I’ve been waiting for finally came in today after waiting for thirty long days! The results were great there’s no seizure activity but his brain will need to be assessed at his MRI. So I arm myself with Teflon encased around my heart, cover myself in prayer and I realize I’m not emotion or bullet proof but I have God and a wonderful support network on my team. I will help my son get through this with love, acceptance, and prayer. I’m a warrior, and I love homand I may get knocked down with worry but I will always get back up ready to fight. 

It’s time for #Mondaymusings and all you have to do is this list of things. 

Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.
Use the hashtag #MondayMusings and link to this post.
Add your link to the linky which you will find either here and on the post of a co-host.
Use our #MondayMusings badge to help other bloggers join in too. Write Tribe is going through some maintenance so it will be hosted at a different website for a few weeks. 
Today’s Monday Musings is co-hosted by Crazy Little Family Adventure and Everyday Gyann please check out their posts and all the other talent that link up. 

26 Comments »

One Liner Wednesday’s 

It’s been awhile since I jumped aboard this train of thought. This is mine as part of One Liner Wednesday’s . Please checkout all the inspiration that comes together on Wednesday’s. 

Today I’m sharing that there’s no instruction manuals for raising children. Thankfully there’s plenty of places to learn, research, and gather more tools for your toolbox. 

Leave a comment »

Mindfulness

I look around me and I see all the beauty around me. I see the sun shining as it rises up over the hills. As it floods the sky with it’s beautiful pinks, yellow, and blues. I walk out onto my deck with my tea cup in hand, and I’m struck with how blessed I am. The colours swirl and intermingle as the sun starts to rise in the sky. I wrap myself up in my fuzzy blanket and sip my tea. This morning I’m not thinking of my to do list, what to make for dinner, or about the laundry that needs folding. For now I sit back and enjoy the beauty and tranquility in this moment. 

 

  
Soon my quiet will be broken as my alarm goes off and it’s time to get my oldest son up for school. I sit with him and we chat about what will happen in his day as he eats breakfast. Soon he’s dressed, ready, kissed, hugged and out the door while his little brother still slumbers. I crawl back into my bed and read for a few delicious moments before he wakes up. These quiet moments hold such beauty for me as they’re few and far between. I catch up on my reading, laundry, and I hear the sound of my youngest son waking. 

He’s so much like me not a morning person as he stomps down the hall. If he was old enough to drink coffee I’m sure he’d demand where it is! We sit and snuggle under my cozy blanket as he adjusts to his wakefulness. After he gets his fill of Mommy’s cuddles we have breakfast. By now he’s wide awake and filling every empty space with his chattering. I smile and realize just how precious and beautiful it is to hear his voice. The beauty of it is that he was speech delayed for so long. Where he only had a few words at two, now at four there’s a word and comprehension explosion! I love to see his face when he says certain words like delicious, sure, I will eat up the no or throw maybe in the garbage when he doesn’t like something being said. 

My sons fill my life and my heart with their love, honesty, and the beautiful beings that they are. When it came to God blessing my husband and I with these two precious souls we hit the jackpot. There’s such a tenderness in the way they love and adore each other and us. I casually joke around that we’re riding the crazy train or going to crazy town, and I’ve been told I’m the mayor of it by my youngest!  And when I hear Ozzy’s Osbourne’s song Crazy Train I will crank it up and exclaim this is my jam. But oh how I love them, and want to hold them and stop them from growing up so fast! I know that’s not possible but time can just stand still for a little while. The magic of the moments frozen in time fill my love bucket to the brim! 
  
It’s time for me to carry on with my day doing my chores. Tidying up my kitchen, unloading, and loading the dishwasher while listening to my favourite radio station. There’s a mindfulness in the rhythm of my life. As I listen to my washing machine singing its little tune that it’s done, and my son and I walk down the stairs, counting each step as we go. 

He trots off to the toy room as I switch the laundry over and carry on to the living room. I set him up with a movie and as he relaxes into the comfort of his blanket and the antics of Toopie and Binoo I watch him with amazement. How much he’s grown, endured, and how he sees the world. I pull out my treadmill, set it up, and step on. As I start out with walking and work up to a light jog I’ve entered my zen. I’m lost in the mindfulness of my footsteps while  I hear my adorable son’s infectious giggles, the whir of the motor, and I feel my heart beating in the rhythm of mindful beauty.  

This has been my contribution to the #OBP #bunkerpunkwordswap. Come and follow along and read some amazing bloggers today. Thank you. ❤️ 

22 Comments »

One liner Wednesday 

We all have those moments when we feel less than, worthless, and beat ourselves up for our mistakes. I’m no different than you or any other parent in the making a life game. Today my son taught me through it all one sentence can make a difference. 

“Thank you for my happy Mommy” 

This has been my submission to https://Lindaghill.com. Please check out her one liner and all the other talent who link up. Thank you. 💕

6 Comments »

Solo gig

One singular sensation, número uno, one and only, solo, no matter how you slice the pie the reality is solo parenting sucks!!! I borrow this new term from one of my favourite bloggers Jen Pinarski. Not to confuse the word solo with single let’s face it folks, single parents are rock stars. I was raised by one from the age of 4 till adulthood. I’m talking about the solo parenting gig I’ve embarked on since my husband’s job transfer. I’m not the best Mom right now, and I’m not the worst. Being home alone with my kids has made me feel grateful, scared, insecure, and heart breaking lonely. I have become my kids sole support for entertainment, taxi service, and basic necessities of food, clothing, and shelter. In between appointments, activities, errands, housekeeping, adjustments, and kisser of owies, I haven’t stopped long enough to give myself a pat on the back. My husband and I make a great tag team parenting duo. I take care of everything that needs to be done in the home, bed times and take my kids to their appointments and activities. My hubby does the grocery shopping, bill paying, and mail pick up. We both share the cooking and yard work duties. And now he’s working hard away in his corner of the world while I hold it together in mine. He Skypes and Facetimes us to hear all about our day and say goodnight to the kids. I try and explain to my little boy why he only sees his Daddy through a computer screen and not at his old job. And how I explain to my big boy how I’m the boss in the house now and he is my helper. Last month my littlest was diagnosed with a neurological condition called Sensory Processing Disorder. And this month another diagnosis of sleep apnea and being told there was nothing that could be done to help him!!! Hearing those words said about my son ignited this protective Mama bear into action. I already have to be the advocate on getting him help with his sensory condition so what’s one more thing. Well it was the proverbial straw that broke this Mama camels back. I dove into my bottle of wine and spent some quality time with Jimmy Fallon. So after a night of my pity party and woe is me I woke up told hugged my kids and told them how much I love them and I got this solo parenting thing under control. Because that’s what us rock stars do, keeping it real one day at a time.

2 Comments »