Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Celebrate Blogging Linkup Party #20

WELCOME TO THE PARTY!!!
Is it just me or is November flying by?!
I can’t believe Thanksgiving is less than a couple weeks away.
This past weekend we did our thankful jar and made some
leaf rubbing books. 

I also did a little Christmas shopping! I got the kids Christmas
pajamas, Christmas books, advent activity books and other little things.
I love a Target Christmas run…don’t you?!-Arianne

LET’S START CELEBRATING…!
Grab a button for your blog sidebar!

CELEBRATE BLOGGING LINK-UP PARTY!

CELEBRATE WITH US…JOIN OUR FACEBOOK GROUP:
FOLLOW OUR PINTEREST BOARD:
We pin every link to our board every week!!!

ARIANNE FROM FAMILY JOYS:

JEANINE FROM JSACK’S MOM’S BLOG

BIBI FROM SIMPLE SUMMIT:

SHANNON FROM CRAFTY MAMA IN ME:

MARILYN FROM FINANCIALLY SHOPPING:





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Arianne
Family Joys

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Monday Musings-The Aftermath of Time

It takes two minutes to return a smile, a lifetime to grieve a loved one, and thirty seconds for panic to set in when your child’s missing. People can vanish without a trace, be lost and never found, die of sudden or natural causes and we’re left to wonder about time. The time we could’ve spent sharing our love and appreciation with that person, a better use of the time spent with them not knowing it would be the last time we would see them. 

It’s happened a lot in my life-loss and the grief’s felt like a never ending cycle of turmoil and pain. Ever circulating and appearing in my life for a personal loss of life or one shared with a friend. Time where you wish you hadn’t said words in anger, fear or mistrust. When you could see past your very human ego to forgive instead of forming the words of negativity and pain. Forgiveness really is an art form, to move past the pain inflicted on your psyche and spirit. To turn the other cheek and give kindness when in your heart you know it’s the right thing to do. Forgiveness solves many problems but what happens to the person who releases the one who caused the indiscretion in the first place? 

Do they simply forgive and forget words that sliced through their heart like a serrated knife? Do they move on and feel their spirit lighter with an air of peace? Does the simple act of saying “I forgive you” imply that they understand why the hurt was inflicted upon them? Here lies in the struggle, I personally find it difficult to forgive. I was raised with an armour of stubbornness and tenacity that’s made it difficult to make that choice to forgive. I feel weak and vulnerable, to relent to pain caused to me. I’m human yet moving past the pain to divinity is better for my soul. 

I recently had an argument with my son and in his preadolescent mindset he chose to walk away then help resolve it. We were in a city we had never been to before and on our way back to the hotel we were staying at. He thought his Dad and I were being unfair so he stomped away. I had no idea where he was going or if he knew how to find his way back to our hotel. It was a dark yet a well lit parking lot but to see him run away like that was heartbreaking. I was feeling more scared then angry as I ran after him and he disappeared!  

My family and I entered the hotel and I couldn’t find him anywhere. My lungs were ready to burst as it was cold night and my asthmatic symptoms were setting in and I frantically searched for my son.  I asked the front desk staff if they had seen him and they replied they had not. The woman said “do you need a key card” and I replied “no I just need my son back now unharmed!” I made my way to the elevator to see if he was waiting for me while my husband and youngest son went ahead to our room. 

For fifteen heart stopping minutes I had no idea where my oldest son was. Was he hurt, was he kidnapped, was he lost and searching for me? By the grace of God he was found when another friends parent saw him waiting in the hallway and took him back to our room. I quickly jumped in an elevator and as my mind raised all I could think of was the last time I saw him. The hurtful words that were exchanged, the look of anger on his face, and how lost I felt when I couldn’t find him. I should’ve took back those spiteful words of anger said, I should’ve recognized he was frustrated and needing to be heard than reacting to his outburst. I needed to make better use of my time with him letting him know even though I disagreed I still loved and respected him. 

When I got to my floor I burst out of the elevator like I was on fire and ran to my room. I opened the door and grabbed my son up in my arms in a hug that needed to last a lifetime. He squirmed away from me then eventually relaxed into my embrace as the tears flowed. I tried to talk but my words were halted by my sobs. 

What I managed to convey to him was that I was so worried that something could’ve happened to him. With the last words we had spoken to each other in emotion were not what we meant to say. Yet it’s true as the adage says we always hurt the ones we love. Why is that easier option then to just agree to disagree and come up with a solution? There were apologies given and received and for the rest of the weekend he wasn’t out of my sight. Except to play hockey and use the dressing room facilities. Forgiveness was difficult but necessary to give in order to value each other and our relationship. 

I never want to go through that heart wrenching experience again! I feel like it aged me by ten years and took time off my lifespan. It all begins and ends with time.  I’ve learned a valuable lesson to curb my temper and refrain from spouting words of anger and angst in the heat of the moment. My son has learned that a moment of negativity can cause him to make a poor choice yet he’s willing to admit his mistake and learn from it. Time it’s the deciding factor of all our words, actions, and transgressions. And I for one will be using my time more wisely with my friends and loved ones. You just never know when that time will run out and regret will take its place. 

Would you like to take part in #MondayMusings? Our host is Everyday Gyann read her post to see how to slow down and get creative. 
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My Mommitment journey and car decal giveaway

A year ago I was suffering from a major judgemental spiral. Being a special needs parent I had more than enough stares, disapproving looks, and snide comments. It was always when my son was reacting to his environment of being too loud, busy, and over stimulating. I still remember a very public sensory meltdown that ensued when we were in a McDonalds. After a day of travelling for hockey I chose a quiet place to have his happy meal than an amped up hockey team pizza night. Well little did I know that the town was going to see a spectacle in that quiet venue. 

It always starts out innocently enough of they didn’t have the toy he wanted. So we go for plan B and they don’t have that either. After those options we decide to eat our meal by this time I have an upset child running up and down on the bench. To any outsider this looks like my son is spoiled and I’m a passive parent. When really it’s an impending feeling of doom for him struggling with preservasive behaviours that his mind is telling him he needs. 

We always have a set routine at our McDonald’s, but this isn’t our local one so making do is our only option. That’s when the judgement bus comes rolling in and I feel hot, stifling, embarrassment and then a instant cup of angry for my son being judged. I ended up overreacting and gave those diners quite a show of what it feels like to be prisoner in a sensory overloaded moment. I left that restaurant feeling defeated as I had to pick up my son and go back to the hotel. 

I brainstormed, wrote a blog, and had to think of a way to change this negative to a positive. So I prayed on it, I always believe when the student is ready the teacher appears. That’s when Mommitment came into my life. Now I judge less, and ignore more, I spread awareness of Sensory Processing Disorder than anger, and I love and forgive myself and my son because life can be as unpredictable as how his central nervous system and senses are. Today a year later I’m still a work in progress but I stick to my Mommitment mindset and proudly wear this decal on my vehicle. This is my check in for the day, week, and month to remind me of my Mommitment and now that I know better I do better. 

  
Without further ado here is the Giveaway details. Follow the Rafflecopter guidelines from Tues, Feb. 23 rd to Tues, March. 1 st. Two winners will be chosen for a Mommitment decal that you can proudly display. 

What can you do to support a Mom in your life and community by showing compassion and non-judgement? 



a Rafflecopter giveaway

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Living in a sensory overloaded world 

Life isn’t always easy and I make the best of it that I can. I don’t think my life is any worse or any better than anyone else’s, it just is what it is. I have never possessed the Staples magical easy button, but if I did look out world! I do daydream about it occasionally to come up with a working model with creativity and a little wishful thinking on my part. 

I’m a product of my own environment and a lot of time spent in my childhood was loud, confusing, and overwhelming. I came into the world and lived in an incubator for a week while I recovered from being sickly and jaundiced. My Mom had a cold and as a result the Dr took extra precautions with me. This was back in the 70’s when it was perfectly acceptable for Mom’s to stay in the hosiptal longer. Going through my own birth experiences I believe whatever emotion, feeling, thoughts, and drugs for pain management are passed from Mother to baby. 

Without having any personal recollection of my time in the spa I can let my imagination wander and say I must’ve loved it. My jaundice was being taken away under the phototherapy lights, I was warm, comfortable, and it was quiet. As I got older I was a child that thrived in peace and quiet because I saw that my Mom did too. She could fill a room with her twinkling laughter and tell a great joke but she loved the quiet of sitting with a good book and enjoying a nice cup of tea. 

We spent many hours enjoying each other’s company with me wrapped up in a world of make believe with my dolls, Sesame Street, Mr. Dress up and The Friendly Giant as my favourite friends. Whenever it would get noisy with having my siblings home I would retreat to my bed and hide under the covers. I had some certain spots for my quiet time up in a tree, in my blanket fort, and when I was very young I was found one time in the dryer sleeping in the warm and cozy laundry. 

When I needed a sensory break from my environment being too cluttered and confusing I would climb. I was confused for being a monkey on many occasions when someone would ask where I was they would see me climbing the tallest tree or onto the horse stock rack then onto the roof of our house!  I was quite blessed by the hand of God that I didn’t fall off and break my neck or worse! 

Now I’m an adult who still loves to climb and build blanket forts with my kids. I have Sensory Processing Disorder and so do my son’s. It’s not anything I could’ve done to change that outcome since it’s neurological. I’ve read enough in the last two years to help me understand my children’s brains and have seen myself on every page! I was quiet, yet boisterous at times, I preferred to read and write stories, or climb trees, and scrape my knees. Just like any other typical child, yet if my world was to loud, bright, crowded and confusing I’d hide away. 

I read that birth trauma particularly placental complications, is known to be a cause of Sensory Processing Disorder according to the book Out of Sync Child by Carole Stock Kranowitcz. If you’re new to this term and haven’t read my blog I will kindly provide you with a definition. 

Sensory Processing Disorder is Sensory processing (sometimes called “sensory integration” or SI) is a term that refers to the way the nervous system receives messages from the senses and turns them into appropriate motor and behavioral responses. Whether you are biting into a hamburger, riding a bicycle, or reading a book, your successful completion of the activity requires processing sensation or “sensory integration.”

*this definition is provided by the website SPD Foundation.*

There are a lot of different processes with SPD where people are affected in certain ways. I’m very visually stimulated and auditory and tactile hypersensitive. Loud noises bother me, I take everything in while scanning my environment, and there’s certain textures I just won’t touch. I’ve lived with this my whole life and  this is known as Sensory Defensive Disorder. My son’s each have the Sensory avoidance and Sensory seeking behaviours.

 I explain it as follows as we each have a bucket that gets filled with each input throughout our day providing for our eight senses to our central nervous system to our brain.  These senses of touch, taste, smell, hearing, seeing, proprioception, interoception and vestibular. 

Proprioception- meaning ones own individual sense of the relative position of neighboring parts of the body, and strength of effort employed in movement. Yes My youngest son isn’t aware of his body in space, and where that begins and where it ends. So crashing into the wall, toys, or his brother are common, and he’s not aware of it until after the fact.

Interoception -is the sense by which one perceives pain, hunger, bowel/bladder control and the movement of internal organs. So in layman’s terms potty training is a bust as of late; my three year old has awareness but no sense of urge control or the urge to eliminate.

 Vestibular- is the sensory system that provides input about movement and a sense of balance. The brain uses information from the vestibular system in the head, to proprioceptive throughout the body to understand the body’s dynamics and kinematics, which describes the motion of objects or groups of objects, without the consideration of causes of motion. Translation meaning when my youngest son is “stimming,” (stimulating all his senses to seek input in his environment) he will spin for an hour if I let him. I prefer swinging-on actual swings- to regulate my vestibular sense. 

 He’s a “seeker”of all kinds of sensory input. Think of it in terms of having a bucket of water with a hole in the bottom, and it constantly needs to be filled up. The clinical definition is Sensory Modulation Disorder. My oldest son has Sensory Defensive Disorder like me. He has a lot of defensive issues with receiving too much input. 

Picture it as a bucket of water that’s constantly filled, and it’s pouring out all over the floor. His issues are predominantly with auditory, visual, and olfactory senses. It’s a full time job keeping all of us sensory and emotionally regulated, but it’s one I do gladly with the help of noise cancelling headphones, regular occupational, physical,  and speech therapy. 

The one thing I’ve come to realize of this journey in our sensory overloaded world is that it does take a village to raise a child, and if there’s special needs involved it grows in size and heart to provide them with success. I do believe that God only gives me as much as I can handle. Sometimes those days are long and difficult and other days are filled with fun and laughter. I’m blessed that they’re also filled with a lot of love, patience, and kindness, and a strong village. 

Welcome to the Sensory Blog Hop — a monthly gathering of posts from sensory bloggers hosted by  Sensory Spectrum and The Jenny Evolution. Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about what it’s like to have Sensory Processing Disorder and to raise a sensory kiddo! Want to join in on next month’s Sensory Blog Hop? Click here!


  

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Science of Parenthood book review

  
Have you ever had a book come into your life right when you needed it the most? I have a handful of times it’s like the right book was searching for me as I was it. This marvellous book I’m referring to is the Science of Parenthood written by Norine Dworkin and illustrated by Jessica Ziegler. 
I signed up to be part of their #Boogiewipes Science of Parenthood blog tour and I’m also proud to be a #Boogieblogger. I received this book as an ARC (acquired reading copy) for my honest review. It arrived in my mailbox on Christmas Eve and I was tickled pink to see it there. I eagerly dived into it getting lost in the pages while my cookies baked and I left my kitchen a disaster. 

Covered in flour and cinnamon is how I spend most of my December with Christmas baking so that day  was no different. My son had been sick nineteen days out of the month so I was grateful for my reading break! I began to giggle as I read the scientific explanations of what Norine had explained in relation to parenting. 

To say I liked this book is an understatement I absolutely loved it! The information backed up with scientific data as well as the tongue and cheek way it was presented made me giggle late into the night under my covers hoping I wouldn’t wake my sleeping household! I really related to to the chapter on Darwin Parents: Adapt or Die! As I believe this is what parenthood is all about. Constantly adapting to sleeping, feeding, bathing yourself and your children. Then just when you figure it out and get cocky and say out loud “I got this” your kids will change up the game and you’re back at square one! 

My favourite paragraph in the chapter is as follows:

“Whoever coined the phrase “change is good” clearly never woke up every two hours to feed a newborn. Or paced 26.2 miles round the living room, trying to soothe a screaming infant. Or went ten days without showering because she was too exhausted to care. Or notice.”

It’s like the heavens opened up and the clouds parted and the angel chorus sang Hallejuah to me when I read that, because this is my life! My kids were never sleepers, not the babies that you bring home from the hospital and are sleeping by one month. No they never got that memo and I’m still trying to fax it to my son’s bedside at 4.5 years old! 

The chapter on potty training left me in stitches as we went through it last year. He was a little late with all of the steps with having some special needs. Now it’s a big production in the bathroom I cringe when I hear those words “come see what I did Mommy, it’s right there!” Then the road trips for hockey I hear “stop the truck I have to pee.” But you just went before we left the house.” Which means nothing to a preschooler.  I soon find out it’s much more fun to pee on Daddy’s tires than a toilet! 

  
Reading this graph had me hysterics as we go through this every time we go to grocery store or are stuck in a lineup shopping. I ask all the questions as described and get a no, I’m fine, let’s go, then it’s holding his bottom screaming “I got to go now!” It makes running errands an Olympic event as I pick up my child and run through the aisles to find the nearest bathroom. 

  
This particular case above wonderfully illustrated by Jessica described my Christmas. I love to build things Legos, blocks, puzzles you name it I want to build it. I was so excited to give my oldest son a box of Connext so we could build some awesome structures with it. He was kind enough when he opened it to say “thanks Mom that’s cool” but I seen his eyes light up when guitar hero was the next gift unwrapped. I just can’t compete with rock and roll so if you can’t beat them join them. 

This book is a must have for every expectant parent it will be my token baby shower gift from now on. It’s leading the charts in the categories of Parenting, Motherhood, and Funny books and is available on Amazon. I would recommend Science of Parenthood to anyone that’s done daycare it will keep you laughing. You’ll be nodding your head in agreement so much like me you’ll think you’re one of those bobble head dolls! Enjoy then you can say you read a book like this famous Doctor who’s definitely one of my favourites. 

“The perfect field manual for all the parents out there who can do nothing else with their day but laugh.”

-MEHMET OZ, MD, father, grandfather, and Emmy Award-winning host of the Dr. Oz Show. 

(So true Dr.Oz)

  
About the Authors

Norine Dworkin-McDaniel 

Norine is the co-author and principal writer of Science of Parenthood. A longtime magazine writer, Norine’s articles and essays have appeared in just about every women’s magazine you can buy at supermarket checkout as well as on The Huffington Post, Parenting.com and Scary Mommy. Norine is the co-author of You Know He’s a Keeper…You Know He’s a Loser: Happy Endings and Horror Stories from Real Life Relationships (Perigee), Food Cures (Reader’s Digest) and a contributor to several humor anthologies, including Have Milk, Will Travel: Adventures in Breastfeeding(Demeter Press). She lives with her husband and 9-year-old son son in Orlando.

Jessica Ziegler

The daughter of famed New Yorker cartoonist Jack Ziegler, Jessica is Science of Parenthood’s co-author and illustrator. In her “off hours,” Jessica is the director of social web design for VestorLogic and the writer/illustrator of StoryTots, a series of customizable children’s books. Jessica was named a 2014 Humor Voice of the Year by BlogHer/ SheKnows Media. Her writing and illustration have been published on The Huffington Post, InThePowderRoom.com, Vegas.com and in Las Vegas Life and Las Vegas Weekly. She lives with her husband and 11-year-old son in Denver.

 Together, Jessica and Norine are the creators of The Big Book of Parenting Tweets and The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, published earlier in 2015. 

Science of Parenthood is available in soft cover and e-book on Amazon

Follow along on these Social Media Links:

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Visit the website to see where abouts Norine and Jessica are on the #Boogiewipesblogtour. 

Follow along to see the Book tour Cities/Dates it might be in your town next. 

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