Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Mama bear and my cub

I just don’t know what to do anymore. My heart’s breaking I can’t send my son to school without someone picking on him. 💔 I want to scream, rage, and hurt anyone who hurts my child. What is it with this world today is there any sympathy, kindness, and caring anymore? Is this the generation that will take the world by storm with their ideas, intelligence, and activism? My son was literally attacked on the playground today. It was something so ridiculous as a dropped Pokemon card on the ground, he picked it up and looked around for the owner, and this kid came up to him and just lost it!!! Now my son he did the right thing used his WITS (walk away, ignore, seek help, talk to someone) and the bully got in trouble. But is this where it ends? I have to hold back the tears when I hug my son, when he tells me “Mom I’m so sick of being bullied.” So I’ve been proactive contacted the school, talked to the administration and have had to hurry up and wait for results. I’m not patient anymore I’m really, really angry and frustrated. My son didn’t even want me to say anything because he said he took care of it. Now he thinks he’s being targeted, because he has gone to the people that are supposed to protect him at school. I don’t know what to think because this is the 4 th and different kid. Where’s the accountability, the respect for the child being victimized, where’s the empathy? I’m told there’s going to be a program in the school dealing with empathy, caring, kindness. It’s supposed to be targeted towards my sons age group. But no start date, no information, just more placating to me, the parent. I can’t even pull my boy out of school and find him somewhere else to go. The city I live in has attendance areas and I have to live in a certain area to qualify to attend another school. My son won’t fight back he’s afraid of getting into trouble. But yet there these kids at his school that are just coming up and hitting him. Physically laying there hands on my child!!! My son who I’ve watched grow, learn, discover, and play in the world. My darling boy who loves to entertain with a song, dance, telling a joke. He’s always been well liked and didn’t have this magnitude of problems at his previous school. Except one incident and that was taken care of immediately. One bully, one principal told, and one vice principal took care of it. That one incident changed my son, he became anxious, easily angered, and so insecure. I worked so hard to help him and bring back that happy boy who easily smiles, loves spending time with his family, and who has a wicked slap shot. He was starting to come back to his old self and then he started school and it’s starting to unravel…. I feel so helpless and pissed off at the same time. I’m crying in one moment and screaming and venting into the next. This is a side of me that feels so twisted up and ugly. A side I’d never show to my son’s, a side that scares even me as I rage inside. I want this pain to stop, I want this bullying behaviour to cease all activity. I want this kid to regret the day he ever laid eyes on my son. I want to scare the wrath of God into him, but I won’t and I can’t. The victim or the parent, can’t become the bully. Then there’s no credibility, and the bully ends up being protected because the victim finally fought back. I’m back to the school tomorrow for yet another meeting. This Mama bear is pissed and I will be getting results. Or this school is going to regret the day they ever met me

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The Power of pink

Today I saw a little boy wearing a pink shirt and written on it was stop bullying on pink shirt day. I complimented him and said “I like your shirt.” His blue eyes shone when he looked at me and said “thank you very much.” I replied it was a perfect day to wear it. Seeing him wear that pink shirt gave me courage as I was there at the school to have a meeting with the administration. I prayed that the sweet boy with the blue eyes didn’t get bullied today. If you’ve been following along with the bullying saga my oldest son (the Captain) has been picked on by 3 different kids!!! 😳 I want to bust some heads, kick some asses, and have a good ole ugly cry. He hasn’t even been in school for a month and he has to deal with this day in and day out. 😔 I’ve had it, I have to convince him to go to school, try to make friends, but he’s gun shy. And I can’t say I blame him, I would be too. What pray tell gives some little brat the right to go up and hit my kid?!! And as I stated in my previous blog the Captain isn’t asking for it. All kids can be assholish but he’s not that way at school. I’ve watched him, I’ve been given compliments about his behaviour, and told by parents what a great kid he is. And even if he wasn’t gutted from my tummy like a fish, I’d still think he’s awesome!!! Now he’s afraid he’s going to get into trouble for all of this. He stood up to this trouble making boy this time, and said stop it, you’re a bully! And I’m proud he did, but some of these kids just don’t get it. When I was a lot younger and in school, and someone bullied me I took care of business. We all did back then, there was no persistent bullying, because all it took was one shove out of my way and it was resolved. And if it wasn’t you went to the biggest kid on the playground and it soon was. It got more complicated in high school with peer pressure, the desire to fit in, and of course the mob mentality. Seeing my son go through this has angered, hurt, frustrated, and scared me. He has locked himself in his room and just raged at the top of his lungs. It’s heart breaking to see the first reason my heart grew 3 x’s its size, the day I became his Mom, suffering. He’s deeply hurting and acts out at home out of pure anger. 💔 This crisis has shown me how cruel people can be. My friends and I we’re discussing how we’ve waited on pins and needles when our child gets home and how you hope, pray, and beg to the heavens that they were left alone. And how we hope these kids will grow out of this detrimental behaviour, instead of into it, and become bigger bullies. So I’ve done all I can do and I’m leaving it in the administrations hands. And if it’s not dealt with immediately, and a little brat lays a hand on my kid I’ll go directly to the parent and demand action to be taken. Hell hath no fury like a Mama bear protecting her cubs. ❤️

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