Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Writer’s quotes Wednesday and #BeWow

This week has been busy with my oldest son’s hockey season starting. Between school, preschool, and hockey I spend my time driving up and down the highway. My youngest son who struggles with Obstructive Sleep Apnea had to get a polysonogram. 

  

I watched with nervous anticipation as the lab tech hooked him up with sensor pads and wires. I did my best to assuage his fears. I told him that his magic wires would hook him up to the computer to give him superhero powers. For all he’s had to endure medically, his bravery gives me wings to fly, he is my superhero  ❤️

  
This has been my submission to Silver Threading and Bewow linkup for Writer’s Quotes Wednesday. This is where I find love, hope, and inspiration. Please give this talented group your reader love, thank you. 😘

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Writer’s Quotes Wednesday and #BeWOW

Today I feel inspired about things I’ve overcome and feel stronger about what’s to come. I felt that when I woke up this morning and I’m determined to take that vibration into the rest of my day and make great things happen! 😃

  
This is my submission to Silver Threading and #BeWoW linkup at Writer’s Quotes Wednesday. Please check out this amazing mixture of talent, prose, and poetry each week. Thank you for reading mine today. 😘

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Ten things of thankful TTOT Link Up

  
I’m participating in something new today. In Lizzi’s TTOT blog linkup that is celebrating one hundred successful weeks. This truly is amazing as I’ve never known any linkup to last that long. So seeing how I really need to be reminded of things I’m thankful for I had to be part of this momentous occasion. 
1. I’m thankful even as I’m stumbling through my grief I can still have my memories to connect with. Some days they are what gets me through my pain to my power that lies within. 

2. I’m thankful that I have my children who love me, appreciate me, and will cuddle with me when my heart is hurting. 

3. I’m so thankful that my husband will drop everything when I tell him I need him. He is my hero and demonstrates his love in action daily for our family and I. 

4. I’m thankful that I saved every message from the last six months so that I can read my friends words who flies with the angels. It’s helping me feel closer to her and my memories of her friendship. 

5. I’m thankful I had an wonderful birthday and received such an outpouring of love through messages, phone calls, gifts, cards, and hugs and kisses from amazing people in my life. That I feel so truly grateful for today. 

6. I’m thankful for sticking with my back to back fitness challenges even when I felt like giving in. And that I have the hard work to show for it. 

7. I’m thankful for my coach Ryan who’s been there to support me every step of the way. He’s become that drive and ambition that was missing in my life. His encouragement and faith in me has helped me begin to live a healthy lifestyle and rid myself of chronic pain.

8. I’m so thankful at the end of a long day that I have my husband by my side. He’s my love and my soft place to fall when the world is just too scary to take on. He loves me with all he has to give and I’m so grateful that he is in my life. 

9. I’m so thankful for all my incredible online friendships that I’ve made since I started my venture in blogging. Other gifted writers, page admins, and wonderful people who like to come hang out at my Facebook page. It makes my day to see my notifications lit up with their interactions. 

10. I’m so thankful I have a husband who works so hard to provide for our family. With a roof over our heads, our pantry and fridge stocked up with food, and utilities to keep our home running efficiently. 

This is bonus one, I’m thankful for Lizzi for coming up with the brilliant concept of Ten Things of Thankful  list, and for having me be part of it today.  ❤️

https://summat2thinkon.wordpress.com/ten-things-of-thankful/

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Taking back me challenge continues on 

 

*Image found on Facebook , and not my own.*

 


What was your week like with meeting your fitness goals?

Jsack Mom:

I had a great week I worked out everyday and completed my four week fitness challenge. My clean eating was on target and my stress levels were managed. 

Tracy on the Rocks:

This past week was tough. I had an event out of town so it was hard to control what I ate as well as I could have if I had been at home. I did my best to make healthy choice though, and I brought workout clothes so I could hit the gym at the hotel! 

How many times did you work out during the week?

Jsack Mom: I worked out everyday this week for 30-45 minutes a day. I’ve been taking more time to stretch since I saw a massage therapist last week. She said my back was a mess of knots. After a year of going without a massage or chiropractor treatment it didn’t surprise me. 

Tracy on the rocks:

I squeezed in 3 workouts last week. 

How was your eating plan, did you stick to it or cheat a little? 

Jsack Mom:

I ate well for the first four weeks of my first fitness challenge. Now I’ve been eating a very strict menu plan. I’ve allowed myself to have a handful of nuts at the end of the day. I find its just what I need for the tummy growlies, and helps me sleep better. 

Tracy on the rocks:

I actually got a stomach bug at the beginning of the week, and then at the end of the week I was out of town and “cheated” as well as drank wine! So hopefully not being able to eat much at the beginning of the week balanced things out! 

Do you allow yourself to have a cheat day? 

Jsack Mom:

I was on a new fitness challenge so the food menu was quite regimented for results. I had an extra snack later at night because I was starving and I couldn’t sleep. 

Tracy on the rocks:

I had a book signing Thursday with some of the other contributors to an anthology I am in, so yes, I cheated. Mostly with wine. And some sweet potato fries at lunch! Eekk

How are you feeling, sleeping better, eating clean, stress relief wise?

Jsack Mom:

This was a detox fitness challenge so it was tough on me physically, emotionally, and mentally. I felt good the first couple of days then mid week I developed a cold with headaches. That made for difficult sleeping habits,and not getting enough rest made me stressed out. The workouts and drinking tons of water, (at least 2 litres a day) helped a lot. 

Tracy on the rocks:

I am entering my 3rd week and I am sleeping better, waking up a little easier and overall have more energy! When I work out, it makes me WANT to keep eating healthy! 

Have you noticed any results since you began your fitness challenge? 

Jsack Mom:

I have never owned a scale not since I was at my heaviest. But I take measurements and I lost 2 inches around my hips, waist, and I lost a pant size! This is after one month and recovering from my back injury!

Tracy on the Rocks:

I’ve lost a total of 7 lbs so far! 

What do you hope to gain from your fitness challenge?

Jsack Mom:

I hope to gain more strength, endurance, and the knowledge to eat a clean, and healthy diet. I’m changing my mindset so this is not a “diet” for me this is a new lifestyle change. 

Tracy on the rocks:

I hope NOT to gain- I hope to lose…weight! Haha But, I hope to gain healthy habits too! Joking! 😉

 

*Image found on Facebook, and borrowed from my coach Ryan Luhning.*

 


What’s the one thing that’s keeping you motivated throughout this time? 

Jsack Mom: 

Knowing that I’ve had Tracy to team up with has helped me a lot for support and accountability. My Beach Body coach Ryan Luhning with http://www.yycgamechangers inspires and motivates me everyday with his positive charged up attitude, expertise, guidance, and never ending energy!!! Him and his wife Carolyn are an incredible team who’s passion for fitness inspires my own again. And after a long time of putting myself last it feels incredible again to have that support. 😃

Tracy on the rocks:

Fitting into my skinny jeans!!

What’s been your favourite meal that helps fill you up and still have you eating healthy?

Jsack Mom:

I’ve recently been eating brown rice again mixed with steamed veggies and skinless chicken. I forgot how much I loved brown rice. I stopped eating it because of the convenience factor. But I made a big batch of it and had some for lunch and dinner.  

Tracy on the rocks:

This is more of a condiment- I put hot sauce on everything! And that helps make bland food like chicken and vegetables have some zip without the sugars of other sauces. 

 Do you have a favourite snack?

Jsack Mom:

For my go to snack I’ve fallen in love with Greek yogurt mixed with oatmeal and fruit. The creamy texture and sweetness of the berries fills me up and satisfies my sweet tooth. I will include the recipe at the end of the interview. 

Tracy on the rocks:

I have been trying to cut back on snacks, but my mom had dried out a huge bag of sliced apples and I asked her to send me some more because they are good when I need something sweet, but still healthy! 

Did you clean out your cupboards to avoid temptations? 

Jsack Mom:

No I didn’t, there really wasn’t a point because not everyone was eating the same meal plan as me. There’s trigger foods in my house all the time I just avoid them, or eat them in moderation. 

Tracy on the rocks:

No, because my roommate and I live like bachelors and we never have any food to begin with hahaha. 😉

Have you weighed and measured yourself since you started a month ago? 

Jsack Mom:

No I didn’t weigh myself I only do that once a year at my Dr’s physical. I did measure myself though, my best method is to how well my clothes are fitting. I also took daily pictures to motivate me and keep me on track. 

Tracy on the rocks:

I only weighed myself. I should measure myself and take pictures. But I don’t want evidence of the “before,” just hurry up and get to the “after” portion! 

What are your results?

Jsack Mom: inches lost and down a whole pant size! 

Tracy on the rocks: 7 lbs down total! 

What’s the next goal for yourself? 

Jsack Mom:

I’ve been invited to participate in another challenge, the Beach Body 21 day fix. And another personal one with a friend and her team. I will weigh out the commitments to each and make my decision from there. 

Tracy on the rocks:

I am hoping to continue at 2 lb loss increments 

Will this become a lifestyle change or is just to drop some weight? 

Jsack Mom:

Absolutely lifestyle, I want to teach my children more about healthy choices and eating clean. My oldest son already eats very healthy, but he’s a big snacker. Now I have healthier options for him to choose from. My youngest has a lot of food texture issues so I just try to get him eating lots of fruits, and he’s content with carrots so I don’t force the issue. I make the sneakiest and healthiest pasta sauce because I blend up tons of veggies in there. Jessica Seinfeld’s cookbook Deceptively Delicious is pure genius with her methods of incorporating vegetables into a family food menu.  

Tracy on the rocks:

Lifestyle! I don’t want to yo-yo diet! The fitness part is definitely something that I need to incorporate into my life and not just as a fad. I also realize I was drinking alcohol way too often. Before I started keeping track of what I was eating, it was easy to make drinking a glass (or a bottle) of wine nightly a habit. 

Do you keep yourself accountable to a group, friend, or partner? 

Jsack Mom:

Yes I’m accountable to myself, my Beach Body coach Ryan, my fitness teams, and of course to Tracy and all you wonderful readers following along. I’ve been blessed to have many supportive friends and family in person and online cheering me on as well. 

Tracy on the rocks:

Myself and knowing I’m going to have to report my results in this challenge! 

Name 5 things that are keeping you motivated today. 

Jsack Mom:

  • 1. Keeping track of my progress through pictures, posts, and hard work. 
  • 2. That wonderful feeling of adrenaline and euphoria before, during, and after a workout. 
  • 3. Beach Body fitness trainer Shaun T. His workouts are geared for results. His exercise progressions are small in increments but very powerful. His ecouragement and his hotness factor are motivating me too. 😉
  • 4. My energy level at the end of the day is amazing. Before I was dragging my butt at the end of the day; I could’ve carried it to bed with both hands. Now I feel so much better and what little sleep I get (die to my son’s sleep disorder) it’s solid and rejuvenating now. 
  • 5. Being pain free with my chronic back pain is my goal. As well as being an active Mom who teaches, learns, and grows with my children. While teaching and implementing healthy habits for my whole family to use. 

Tracy on the rocks

  1. Fitting into my jeans 

  2. All the sacrifices I’ve already made will be for nothing if I don’t stay on track

  3. Fitting into a new dress for my friend’s wedding (which happens to be on my birthday) 

  4. Umm…being too busy to eat

  5. That’s all I’ve got. 

 Name someone who’s been supportive of you meeting your fitness goals.

Jsack Mom: Tracy on the Rocks! She’s been incredible with cheering me on and always so supportive with my posting schedule when answering her own fitness questions. My coach Ryan from YYC Game changers is a bottomless well of health, enthusiasm, advice, and motivation. Him and his lovely wife Carolyn really walk the walk, and talk the talk. I’ve been following their fitness journey on their blog, and now their motivating You tube channel as well as Instagram. They live, breathe, and promote their passion daily with Beach Body health and fitness.  

Tracy on the Rocks: Jsack Mom! 

Everyone’s actually been really supportive! My roommate is getting married so she’s doing her own challenge and my girlfriend found out I was doing Medifast and she told me she did it too so she keeps checking in. Everyone wants me to succeed! 

Is there anything that’s sabotaging you to not meet your goals?

Jsack Mom:

Yes right now with this detox challenge it’s the yummy, tantalizing foods I can’t have. My husband brought home a honey ham for dinner and I had to leave the house. It smelled so good I was afraid I was going to cave. So I took a quick jog around the block and felt better when I got home and everything was put away. Honestly though it was a long night and I sulked while eating my salmon salad and NOT having a beer while watching the hockey game. 😝

Tracy on the Rocks: Not yet….

Recipe: Greek yogurt and berries

Here’s my favourite new snack so easy and so delicious. 

  • 1/4 cup of Greek yogurt
  • 1/2 cup of fresh fruit (raspberries or strawberries or both.)
  • 2 Tablespoons of oatmeal. 
  • Mix together in a bowl and BOOM 💥 you’ve got a delicious, healthy snack. 
So there you have it Tracy on the Rocks and I will be back next week to share tips, recipes, and what’s making us feel great on the #takingbackmechallenge. Thank you for coming along on our journey. ❤️

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Gamble

I’ve been living the life of a gambler. I’ve been running on empty for a long time thinking that I can continue this way. I’ve been going on whiffs of exhaustion and sleep deprivation. Reacting strongly with my emotions and easy trigger finger of blame. I have spent more time looking at a bottom of a wine bottle with only tears and rambling writings to show for it. I have spent nights in overwhelming valley and vacationed at heartbreak hotel. I’ve given my power away only to feel like a shell of my former self. 

I have decided enough is enough since my crazy train has run off the rails. I’m taking a gamble on myself and putting myself on my list of priorities. Self care will be my goal each and everyday. I will exercise to walk, run, move my body to feel good. I will get more rest, even if it’s not a lot of sleep. I will find a routine that works for me. I will have fun again as me not just Mom. Where I can laugh, love, find my hobbies that make me happy. I will be with others who share these common interests. I will begin to create again to draw, paint, scrapbook, and craft with my kids and on my own. Art is the way to my heart’s inspiration, love, and light. 

  
Eating well and maintaining a balanced diet of healthy foods will feed my body and nourish my mind. I will be kind to myself, by putting myself first, seeking guidance from my family and friends, and counselling from my therapist. I will get outside and explore my new town and surroundings. I will bask in the fresh air and the sunshine, and get my hands back in the dirt with my love of gardening. I will seek daily ways to relax, not just when the stress is choking me physically and emotionally. I will not gamble with my health and happiness again. I deserve to be fully, completely, safe and comfortable in my skin. 

 I will participate in my yoga practice, keeping mindful with my deep breathing and my temper. I will put my deepest thoughts that aren’t meant to be published in my journal. I will read to fill my mind with beautiful words, my heart with the longing to write my own words to inspire, and my soul with the love of making those chapters part of my being. And when the world is too much for me to handle I will sink into my loves arms and find my solace and believe in myself again. I vow to make my self care an integral part of me that it won’t be a chore, a list of demands to meet, it will be my gift to me. 

This has been my submission to More Than Cheese and Beer please check out her anonymous Sunday confessions and all the talent who link up. Thank you. ❤️

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Part 2 #Taking Back Me Fitness Challenge

Here’s the continuation of Part 1 of the Taking Back Me challenge that Tracy on the Rocks and I are embarking on. We have lots to share, read on dear followers. 😃

Continuing my answer from the question:

 What strategy do you intend on utilizing to reach your goals?

 Jsack Mom: I will be using the Beach Body on demand program with access to various workouts. As well as recipes, meal plans, and fitness nutritional products. I also have my fitness challenge group who keep me accountable, inspired, and motivated to keep to the course. I’ve also downloaded this app called Happify that is working on keeping me positive and eager to meet my challenges each week.I’ve also downloaded this app called Happify that is working on keeping me positive and eager to meet my challenges each week. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: Accountability!

For nutrition: My girlfriend who I am doing the Medifast through will check up on me with the eating. I also downloaded “My Fitness Pal” app. 

For exercise : My friends at work with yell at me if I don’t come to boot camp and or yoga, and encourage me while I am there. 

Specifically, I intend on losing 2lb/week through the Medifast meal plan and exercise. 

 What are some challenges you anticipate facing in the upcoming weeks?

 Jsack Mom : My biggest challenge was in this week I started the Beach Body 21 day fix program and after lunge overload I tweaked my old back injury. So I’ve been able to follow the meal plans but not workout. I was saddened and frustrated but I’ve taken the time to rest, ice, and recuperate. My coach has been wonderful and encouraging as well as my fitness challenge group. I feel very blessed and motivated to get back up on the workout horse as I’m feeling a little better as the swelling has been dissipating. This time I will be smart and I won’t be the “go big or go home” mentality. 

Tracy on the Rocks: My biggest challenge is going to be laying off the wine.  And trying not to whine 

too much about the hard workouts. Also, being impatient about seeing results. I want to be skinny RIGHT.NOW. Dammit!! ha 

What is your Plan B if you fail on this challenge?

Jsackmom: I won’t fail, even with this physical set back with my back injury.  I’m still eager to get back into working out at a moderate pace while I gain strength and endurance. And fix this muscle imbalance between my abdominals and low back region. I’ve incorporated more stretching and yoga in my rest days as well. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: There is no 

Plan B!! I won’t fail!!! 

So BOOM there it is (as my coach says) Tracy on the Rocks and I will be keeping each other motivated, accountable, and updating our progress here each week. Stay tuned my dear readers, because we’re going to rock this #takingbackme challenge. 😃💪🎉

We will be back next week updating you dear readers on our progress. And if you’d like to join in with us please do. 

#takingbackmechallenge

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#1000Speak-Building from  Bullying 

I’ve been through a lot in my life but you wouldn’t know it unless you read my blog, or I decided to share with you. I’ve lived my life to be a kind, honest, and caring person. I was taught to be loving and patient even when others were not. I was taught to protect the weak and vulnerable, and cheer for the underdog. I’ve learned to turn the other cheek, and push through the pain and turn it into power. 

When I became a victim of bullying it turned my world upside down. I lived in a very small community so if anyone found out you were doing things outside of this bubble you became local gossip fodder. It wasn’t like I was doing anything wrong I was hanging out with my cousin in a bigger town, going to hockey games, and dating a hockey player. When the kids in my school heard about these things it became a mission to tear me down for having a life outside of my country existence. I can’t even begin to describe what I went through day in and day out with the taunting, teasing, and bullying.

I was only thirteen and the things I had to hear, defend, and ignore about myself were devastating. There was a group of boys and they had a ring leader and he made it his mission to make my life miserable. I wasn’t ugly, mean, ignorant, or self righteous but he was. He had everyone convinced that I was gutter trash and wasn’t worth the kindness of a smile, pat on the back, or acknowledgement for any talent. I was a volleyball player and I was good at my sport. I had all these girls from my grade and one above as my team mates. But no one spoke to me except my coach and my assistant.

If my lead bully saw anyone talking to me then they would suffer his wrath as well. So no one dared incur that, and it was easier to make rude comments or ignore me completely. I still continued to play volleyball and I had a couple friends that would talk to me and be seen in public with me, that were in a grade below me. This disgusting, defeating, behaviour only occurred in my classroom. In between classes I could mix in with the swarm of other kids filling up the hallway to get to their next classes. I enjoyed that anonymity even with however brief it was.  There was this time I went to my locker before gym and had noticed that it  had been tampered with.

Someone had splashed something on it and smeared across the door was the words bitch slut! I was born and raised Catholic so I was the furthest from those derogatory terms. I opened up my locker and saw my binders had all been opened up and papers were everywhere, and my wallet was also missing. I was pissed off and I felt the hot, salty, tears run down my face. My teacher came up behind me and told me to go to the office to report it, so I did. Then I walked out to gym class and in between there and the school was a corridor and I sat there on the steps, trying to process my anger. I had my head in my hands wondering what I was going to do I was ready to cry again, when I felt I was being watched. I looked up and this girl who was a fair weather friend came up to me. She leaned over and said “I saw your locker and it’s too bad that you didn’t get your wallet back, I guess you won’t need this anymore!”

It suddenly clicked in my head that she was responsible as she was holding a picture of my boyfriend in his hockey gear. I flew across the stairs and grabbed her and started punching her in the face. I then grabbed and pushed her into a wall and started banging her face off it. She was frantically trying to fight back but I was possessed with a rage of a thousand moments of being bullied. Classes were ending and people started coming through the corridor. I was still punching and kicking and she began crying and screaming for someone to help her.

Suddenly the principal was there and he was pulling me off of her. He was shocked as well as the school secretary, who always knew me as being kind. This wasn’t the same girl who walked into the school and said good morning to all the staff. In the office, passing them in the hallway, and each of their classrooms. I had attended this school system since Kindergarten so I knew everyone very well. I had to sit in detention with the bitch/thief and she sat there with an ice pack over her eye and glared at me, as we faced each other across the room.

I still wanted to bash her face in as she looked at me smugly as our parents were called to come pick us up. My Dad was working and my Mom didn’t drive, and I refused to go anywhere with my Step Mom so I sat in the office the rest of the day. I had to write out an apology letter to my victim and I was still very angry so I remember wording it as I’m sorry you couldn’t defend yourself after you broke into my locker. I’m sorry that you were such a bitch and I had to kick your ass and I got caught. I was suspended for five days and my Mom sent me to my Grandparents so I could have a break from our community gossip circle jerk.

I welcomed it, attended church, looked after the garden, and helped my Gram with meals. She knew I wasn’t a bad kid I was just tired of being bullied. I just wanted to live my life and not hurt anyone. Enjoy seeing my boyfriend play hockey games, go to his house for homemade Italian meals while his Grandma said “mange, mange your’e too skinny.” While I was at my Grandparents I saw a lot of him. He lived not too far away and he’d walk up and meet me after school. I also went to church and asked God to forgive me for my sins, anger, and bad temper. I was taught by my parents that I didn’t start a fight, but I sure finished one if it was brought to my side of the equation. I didn’t get punished from them as I think they were surprised that their sweet, smiling, studious, daughter finally snapped. The victim that had taken the ignorance, defamation, and horrendous behaviour for a year became the bully.

This is not something I’m proud of but I’m neither ashamed. I feel compassion for that confused, hurt, pissed off, teenager I was. I learned my lesson and today I’m a stronger, capable, and confident adult. I don’t let anyone step on my feelings or crush my spirit. I know when situations and people aren’t good for me as I trust my intuition a lot more. Now knowing my own child had to experience being teased, hit, and bullied, has ignited the fire of that child I was. I’ve advocated with the office administration, his teacher, and have even reprimanded his bully. I will not let the sins of the Mother, visit the son.

I teach both of my son’s to stand up for themselves, don’t instigate the fight, but definitely protect themselves. Now in the school system students use the W.I.T.S. program. The acronym stands for walk away, ignore, talk to someone, seek help. Since my son has been playing hockey he’s more confident in himself. And no one gets away with hitting him, teasing him, or bullying him. I will be that parent on the playground watching and waiting and he knows that I have his back always. My cup of compassion runs over with my children, and I am that Mama bear protecting my cubs. But my patience bucket is empty when it comes to bullies, their lack of intelligence, their own self hatred, and fear of not measuring up in society. So I pass down the golden wisdom to my kids that my beloved Mama would always say to me, “love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.” I’m spending more of my time doing this. It’s so easy to get wrapped up into who we were in the past. The true courage is surviving that, and thriving with that knowledge in the present. ❤️

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Ready, set, go! 

I have so much to do and I’m already overwhelmed thinking about it. I have never ending overflowing laundry baskets and I’m totally my laundry room’s bitch for the past two weeks. I’ve got a wicker basket full of stuff I need to do, and the paperwork monster is threatening to grab me in a choke hold till I cry uncle! I know I can take things one day at a time but it’s my brain that never shuts that doesn’t get that message. 

Last week I had a meeting with my respite worker she asked me if I was a list person. I replied yes I love making lists, a lot of my blog topics start out that way. She asked me to write things out instead of using my notes app. So I did and it’s amazing how something so simple, can be so affective. Today I made another list and each day I cross off my accomplishments. It feels good to see that I’m taking care of things, but my overwhelm is with all the things I still need to do. It’s easy for me  to dispense out advice to friends and say look after your priorities and the housework will be there tomorrow. Like death and taxes laundry will always be something you can count on happening. 

I feel like I’m at the start of the race and I’m waiting for someone to be standing there with a pistol saying ready, set, go and I’m off like I’m lit on fire when I hear that shot go off! On one side of me is my calendar jammed with appointments, and on the other is my phone loaded up with texts, emails, and blog topics I need to return and write. At times we’re neck in neck and I literally feel the sweat pouring down my brow. Then I’m wiping it, dying of thirst, and I fall behind and struggle to keep up. 

There are many phone calls to be made, test results to track down, letters to be written, paperwork to be signed, and faxed. I’ve literally been held paralyzed with anxiety that I have to complete all the things and do it record time. The finish line appears to be so far away and my eyes are getting blurry as exhaustion starts to overtake me. Must be the fact I’m dehydrated and in need of something to quench my thirst. And that pesky cataract starts to bother me when I’m tired. So I start veering off the track and daydreaming while I can scarcely see my opponents in the distance. My vision doubles and I start to yearn for my couch. 

There I can have my fuzzy blanket and security while watching Lawrence of Arabia and enjoy eating a bowl of ice cream. This parenting gig can be hard at times. Add in a list of objectives, goals, and lists and you’ve got another job. Sometimes I just want to say &@@@ it and leave for someone else to do. But if I do that then my children won’t get the services they desperately need. I can’t miss out on that, no matter how mentally, emotionally, and physically, exhausted I am. It’s not fair to them or to me if I fail, there’s a lot of resources and a lot of families in need as well. The autism journey can be a bumpy one at the best and worst of times. I’m learning new terminology everyday and as my brother says ATL’s (another three lettered acronym). 

He told me that last week and I laughed so hard, for about fifteen minutes as my life has become all about the letters. When will it all begin, when I’m assessed for funding, get a case worker assigned to me, or get a therapy team in place. There will be more people joining our small circle, lots of transitions, more appointments, and more trips into the city. I will be requesting a lot of home visits in the beginning. Getting my youngest son prepared for these upcoming changes and strangers in our reclusive world. This is never easy and I can use all the PECS (Picture Example Cards) available, but if he has anxiety about it all it’s just not going to happen. 

I honestly don’t know what to expect from branching out into this new world of programs, people, and personalities. I’m thinking as positively as I can and preparing and educating myself as well. So off I go into the sunset leaving worn out ideas, speculations, and false truths behind. From now on its facts, concrete results, and verified diagnosis’s that will matter. I owe it to my children to get them all the help I can. And I owe it to myself to know and believe this age old wisdom from Yoda. That little green guy’s wisdom has touched my life with its simple but gifted advice more times than I can count. Special thanks to http://lindaghill.com for the writing prompt. I couldn’t think of anything to use it for till now. It’s funny  how I just looked at this picture and words started flowing. Green man wisdom for the win!

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Pink shirt day

This has been my submission to https://lindaghill.com One liner Wednesday. Today I support anti bullying awareness and advocate for my children always. 💞

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One liner Wednesday

I’ve been thinking of what inspires me lately and I came across a beautiful quote. I will share it with you today.

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I’m not perfect, and I don’t live to be.
But before you start pointing fingers make sure you’re hands are clean.”

-Bob Marley

This powerful quote is my submission to http://lindaghill.com One liner Wednesday. Please check out her talent and all the others that link up. Thank you. 💓

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