Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❤️

Ten things of Thankful

I’m thankful but tired, I’m grateful but overwhelmed, I’m appreciative yet introspective. So I’ll roll it all into another quick post where  I’m plagued with insomnia and worry. One thing I’ve learned is there is always, always, something to be thankful for. I’m sharing today with my thankful hosts with Lizzi’s Ten Things of Thankful linkup

I’m thankful for a warm cozy bed, and the moonlight that keeps me company when I can’t sleep. 

I’m thankful for spending the weekend with my family on a hockey road trip. There was laugher, excitement, outbursts, and even tears. But must of all there’s always so much love. 

I’m thankful for naps when I’m exhausted and time to soak in my hot tub when I’m pent up with nervous energy. 

I’m thankful for old friendships that stand the test of time, space, distance, mutual respect and love for one another. 

I’m thankful for pain killers, heat packs, chiropractor visits and finally relaxing when I’m stressed. 

I’m thankful for cuddles with my kids, the love of my husband, and wine and chocolate shared with great company. 

I’m thankful for my love of the written word, being in love with books, and working on my novel daily. 

I’m thankful for deadlines met, assignments conpleted, and discovering how I thrive under pressure. 

I’m thankful for the love of music when it can lift me up to great heights when I feel my heart crashing to the earth with worry and strife. 

I’m thankful for the gift of time to heal my wounds, patience to learn from my mistakes, and the love and my believe in myself to conquer my fears. 

  

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Monday Musings-the lies we tell ourselves

I’m a truthful person I’ve been taught to always be honest but never cruel, to be appreciative and not take things or people for granted. To always speak from my heart instead of inventing a lie. There’s one lie I’ve told myself is that I’m fine. I’m really not when I say that, it’s a easy way of letting the world know I have it together. 

Even though it appears like I do I really don’t, I’m struggling and I hide behind the mask that I present to world. I always think about that quote 

“Be kind to others, because everyone is fighting their own secret battles.”

I am a kind and loving person and I’m raising my children to be this way as well. I teach them to tell the truth, and to let them know they can tell their parents anything. I give them the opportunity to tell the truth first then give consequences if they’re not honest with me. I don’t want them to think it’s ok to tell me they’re fine when they’re not. Or that “I didn’t do it”or “I don’t know broke” the lamp. 

We tell ourselves these lies because it’s hard to face the truth sometimes. But even though it’s an old cliche the truth will set us free. There’s nothing to remember when you tell the truth, there’s nothing that needs to be created when honesty is the best policy. I’m dealing with a situation right now of lies being told. I have given the opportunity to hear the truth but wasn’t given that respect.

 So now there are consequences and disappointment. Why do we have to hide behind a mask of untruths instead of just being honest? Why does it feel better to lie and make ourselves feel better than ripping off the bandaid and exposing ourselves? It’s easier to hide behind a facade then to be real with ourselves. This is a foreign concept for me as I was taught the truth is a positive way to live my life. 

To be lied to is to be disrespected, and the hurt that arises from that is crushing. I don’t need to build myself up with a house of cards where the truth is distorted and I can’t tell what is real or what is not. Whether it happens sooner or later that house of deception comes crashing down around you. Be real, it’s the only way to feel good about yourself don’t build yourself up into being someone you don’t recognize or respect. 

I’m going to start taking my own advice when people ask me how I’m doing I’m not going to say fine. I will tell the truth I’m happy the sun’s shining, I’m struggling but I’m finding a way to cope. I owe it to myself to speak the truth and not hiding behind a mask I’ve created out of fear.  William Shakespeare is one of my favourite poets and playwrights and he spoke the truth when he created this simple but profound quote. 

“To thine own self be true”

It’s time for #Mondaymusings and all you have to do is this list of things. 

Write a post sharing your thoughts with us – happy, sad, philosophical, ‘silly’ even. Make it as personal as possible.
Use the hashtag #MondayMusings and link to this post.
Add your link to the linky which you will find either here and on the post of a co-host.
Use our #MondayMusings badge to help other bloggers join in too.
Visit and comment on the posts of other bloggers linked here.

Share the love.

Today’s co-hosts are Everyday Gyaan and Tales of Two Tomatoes

  

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My blessings

10 years ago I married the love of my life. I can honestly say that no one ever gave me dancing butterflies like he does. Or make me so mad that I’m foaming at the mouth when I’m angry! It’s real deep love when after that there’s forgiveness and remorse. I have loved him since I set my eyes upon him 30 years ago. He was my goalie man and I adored him from afar and developed a raving crush on him. And here we are today celebrating 10 years with our amazing son’s, 4 job transfers, and living this wonderful life. Proving that dreams really do come true when they’re touched by love and happiness. Happy anniversary sweetheart I love you more than I did yesterday, and I will love you more tomorrow, because each day my heart grows with my love and adoration for you. I thank you for loving me and being my partner in life here’s to our future wherever it may lead us. As long as I have you and our son’s by my side I know it will an adventurous ride. I love you so much as the world just keeps on turning and we keep evolving with the love we have for each other. You’re my rock, my laughter, my love, and soft place to fall. I thank God every day I’m blessed to spend with you. ❤️
  

🎶So glad we made it, look how far we’ve come now baby.🎶

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To my love on his birthday 

Today is a special day it’s my husband’s birthday! I know this day is very special to me, because he was born to become my love, and my life. I’ve known my husband for a long time, as he went to school with my sister. I’ve wrote about our love story here, but today I write about why I love him so much. 

You can really discover a lot about a person when you’ve known them for thirty years. Yes that’s 3-0, three decades of crushing on him and his smile that still makes the butterflies float in my tummy. My belly that housed our precious son’s and my body that nourished them through nearly 10 years of marriage. This love of mine has never wavered, for as long as I’ve known him I wanted to be his one and only. 

 

 Now he slumbers peacefully as I’m too excited to sleep and need to write this. I adore him so much, when others saw a little punk kid trying to look grown up; he saw the real me batting my blue eyes. I only told my Mom and Gram of my crush on him. I wouldn’t even tell my sister for fear I might get teased. If you have an older sibling you know what I’m writing about. 
My Mom and Gram would never tell my secret and I never would tell my love either. Well, until many years ago when after a few drinks shared I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm for the truth! I was only 12 when we met that fateful and happy day at a hockey game. He was 17 playing hockey and ready to graduate. I didn’t care though I saw him and he captured my interest and my heart. 

It didn’t matter what our age difference was I believed if it was meant to be it would. He moved away right after graduation but I kept tabs on him through mutual friends. Then I found out he moved away to another province and I moved there as well before graduation. I tried to find him but alas, it wasn’t meant to be. Then I moved back to my hometown to cure myself from my homesickness and graduate with my friends. 

I found out through my cousin that my love had moved back too! I kept a low profile as I was preparing for exams. I still had an interest in seeing him after all those years. I had done some growing up of my own and I wasn’t that kid sister anymore. Then as fate would have it he literally walked back into my life. It was at a friend’s birthday party and I was bouncing and battening  and making sure my friend’s apartment wasn’t getting trashed. Then I see him and all my care taking and “Mother henning behaviour flew out the window! My heart was captured once again and this time I wasn’t letting this prize winning catch go. We stayed up the rest of the night talking, laughing, and yes even sobering up. 

He had to go to work the next day and I had to clean up after the party. We parted ways but we’re content on seeing each other again. Back to school and reality, and phone numbers exchanged and no phone calls were made. Well I did some serious thinking and praying and a week later I called him. I was excited and nervous so I made the date to meet some friends at the theatre. 

That date was a lifetime ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday. What I wore, the smell of his cologne, and the movie we watched. My mind and my heart will never forget that first tender, soft, kiss that left me with all the romantic stereotypes. Weak in the knees, butterflies, and breathless and wanting more! That’s what happens when two energies collide, pure pulsating magic. 

  
It wasn’t always easy as there were naysayers on both sides of the coin that said we would never last. And here we are outlasting a lot of those marriages that came to be before ours. I still remember the best compliment we ever received was from my husband’s aunt. 

“I would never know you were together for a long time. It’s like you both just met and have fallen in love and it’s a privilege to witness that.”

I will never forget that compliment nor the 200 people who came out to celebrate on our wedding day. To my husband, my heart, twin soul, and lover for life. Happy birthday and  thank you for blessing mine and our sweet son’s life with your love. You are loved, respected, and appreciated and are our gift to have everyday. ❤️ 

  


 

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Ten Things of Thankful

It surprises me that Sunday is already here! I feel like the summer days are passing me by too fast. So time to harness some fun and thankfulness out of them before they’re gone. I love this time of week for the tribe of Lizzi’s TTOT who inspire and lift me up with angels wings. ❤️

1. I’m thankful for lessons of respect and compassion learned by both my son’s and myself. We learned we need to use our words more and yell in frustration less. And when we’re feeling vulnerable doing things to fill each other’s kindness bucket is a wonderful way to fix that. 

2. I’m thankful for summer camp and all the cool crafts that my son is making there. He comes home with such pride and smiles which makes me so happy he’s having fun being creative there.

3. I’m thankful for the playtime I get to enjoy at the playground with my youngest son while his brother is in camp. We have made some new friends and reconnected with old ones. He’s so excited to have that one on one time with me again and some am I. 

  
4. I’m thankful for keeping up with my fitness schedule and feeling stronger with each workout. I did some really intense sessions and needed a couple of rest days. I was proud of myself though because interval and plyomeyrics training is something I haven’t done for a long time. 

5. I’m thankful that I was able to catch up on my never ending laundry basket. There’s weeks where I’m her bitch, and days where she’s mine. #winningthisweek. 😉

6. I’m thankful that I had a lazy day yesterday and got to watch a marathon of one of my favourite tv series Hell on Wheels. It was filmed in my province and I look forward to hiking in the country that’s showcased on the series. 

 7. I’m thankful for my family who I love and friends who have become family. I’ve always been a friendly person, but to be told that I’m missed, my words have touched hearts, and I’m the only friend who is still there in the end makes me feel warm and fuzzy with love. 

8. I’m thankful for golden opportunities that are presented to me when I just think positive and believe in myself and my abilities. 

9. I’m thankful that family holidays can begin and my husband and I have been planning ways to surprise our kids and enjoy our time off. 

10. I’m thankful for my husband and his pitching in around the house and rallying our little troops to help. It didn’t look like I had accomplished anything with keeping clean and tidy home. Toys strewn about and popcorn and cereal remnants littered my floors and threatened my patience. So the team went to work and this Mama is a happy camper. 

  

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#1000 Speak Compassion-nurturing 

 At this moment in time I could use some nurturing. My heart has suffered from being judged, my body from pushing it to the limit of injury, my soul from putting myself last on the list of life’s priorities. It’s been my own doing, I put myself out there and recieved ridicule and embarrassment. I allowed it to hurt my heart and make me feel cheap, dirty, and ashamed. There is a thing about being too honest especially on social media.

I started a new workout routine as I’ve been living with chronic pain for the last five years. And slowly it’s grinding away at all the wonderful things I’ve accomplished over that time. The nurturing place where I housed my children and now my back is full of white hot pain if I do too much. Lifting my child who is showing all the signs of a sensory meltdown as he runs through a parking lot. Carrying him to bed after he’s so wound up from seeking sensory input all day he crashes in my arms on the couch.

Picking him up and cradling him like my little Joey and I’m his kangaroo Mama keeping him safe from a world that’s too loud, busy, bright, and at the same time beautiful in it’s simplicities and complexities. I exercise to keep myself fit, healthy, and fabulous. I started a new workout routine and matched the instructor for move for move. No matter how fast or extreme it would be in the long run. What the end result was an aggravated old back injury from a bulging disk, and not being able to walk properly for three days!!! What was I thinking I asked myself as I had to hobble around with a cane and parent from my couch?!

I wasn’t thinking about my age that’s for sure. I was thinking of who I was before when I was the fitness instructor with seventeen years experience. Who gave those intense workouts and also participated in them. It’s been a humbling experience as I recently started a fitness challenge and I’m on the sidelines cheering everybody on. I have an invitation to start a free one week bootcamp in my town. I look at each day mocking me and my lack of flexibility. How is it possible after ten years of teaching I could become so inflexible? Easy enough I allowed my mind to become that way being a right fighter, and my body became rigid and immobile.

I need to nurture that part of my myself that makes me feel whole again. I write, read, whine onto my digital paper and drink copious amounts of wine to dull my pain. Who knows of this push and pull existence that I put myself through time and  time again. It’s you my dear readers who have followed along with me on my journey through heartache, grief, self loathing, and sometimes redemption. I lay myself bare and venture out into the world when it seems to be less cold, hard, and judgemental. This is my life as a Mom with children with special needs.

You can’t see my son’s conditions but if you push them to the limit they’ll bleed through with their reactions to noise, over stimulus, and disapproving stares. One has a disorder called Sensory Avoidance. I refer to it as his needs are like a bucket of water and everyone puts in a cup throughout his day. When he’s home from school his sensory bucket is overflowing. and he needs to empty it out and self tegilate with calm and quiet time. I give him this time to decompress as I know it’s essential to his psyche and mental health!


My other son has the opposite disorder he is a seeker of sensory input and it’s referred to as Sensory Modulation. His condition I refer to as having an empty bucket that he fills with cups of water all day long with every interaction, noise, and stimulus. Each time his bucket is almost full he dumps it out and has to start all over again. So this is the push and pull of my son’s existence. One wants to avoid all contact until he’s regulated and able to fill up his bucket. The other is constantly dumping it out and finding new ways to fill it!

They both empty my patience bucket on a regular basis, and I need to fill it back up again with things that help. Like quiet time to myself, being able to read, write, soak in a bubble bath until  enveloped in the softeness and luxury. Closing my bedroom door each night and cuddling into my love my husband, my soft place to fall. He holds me and nurtures me and my hearts love bucket is full of self worth, respect, consciousness, and unconditional love. And I’m refreshed and restored and able to face another day. Whether it’s full of fighting, auditory hyper sensitives, food texture issues, sensory seeking, or sensory avoiding.

We all need to be loved, respected, accepted, loved, and nurtured. Please take that time to give your body, mind, and soul are crying out for. Don’t be like me who pushes and pulls into the core of my existence till my broken, weary, sleep deprived shell of a human body can’t take it anymore. Find those ties that bind you to the ones you love, absorb their love and strength, full that love bucket, and be more than, better than, stronger than the pain that threatens to grind you down. Love, nuture, take the steps to self care, and truly cherish that reflection that stares back at you from the mirror of your life.

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Lose your Cape-Book Review

  

Today I’m going to tell you about a wonderful book that I read this month, and fell in love with. I was fortunate enough to receive an ARC (Aquired Reading Copy) for my honest review. I knew with my first child that I wanted to be a super Mom so badly. I stayed home and spent endless hours reading and researching on how to be a good Mom. As I look back on it now I realize all I had to do was love my son, feed, change, protect, and put him first and that was being a good Mom. In Alexa Bigwarfe and Kerry Rivera’s book I saw myself as a first time Mom relating to the anecdotal responses from other Mom’s like me. And all the mistakes that I made trying to wear that cape and be that Super Mom. From the newborn to the toddler stage they cover each part of parenthood with honesty, joy, and humourous anecdotes. I felt so connected with their advice and the advice of bloggers they interviewed. Each chapter begins with a quote and for a quote junkie like me I loved it. Chapters covered are preparing for life with a newborn, spousal support at home, tackling chores, keeping organized, and family mealtimes. Also included are information on single parenting, getting the help you need to tame that laundry beast. I appreciated the pertinent information for surviving in today’s world as a modern day Mom. Including all the excellent websites, blogs, and books recommended. I loved this book so much with its’s honest approach to just loving and accepting who I am as a Mom, and just lose the cape because to my kids I’m already a SUPER  hero MOM without it. My favourite tip was the chapter on family organization. Learning about the different calendars and apps to help my family get coordinated with our busy schedules. As well as all the tips on mealtimes and how to appease picky eaters. Which I could write a book on myself with my son’s food texture issues!  Special thanks to Alexa and Kerry’s blog tour coordinator Alison for granting me the pleasure of beta reading this wonderful book. And to the authors for writing such a fabulous, candid, heartfelt book. 😃

You can preorder your copy here release date April. 26 th 2015

 Amazon link
You can follow Alexa and Kerry on social media sharing their book here:

http://losethecape.com/

https://twitter.com/LosetheCape

https://www.facebook.com/LoseTheCape

https://www.pinterest.com/losethecape/

Authors Background Information

Alexa Bigwarfe


Alexa Bigwarfe is a freelance writer, wife, and mother of three children and a dog. In addition to raising her children, managing her home, and writing, Alexa’s heart is in advocacy and raising funds to support nonprofit organizations involved with infant, children and women’s issues. Alexa launched her writing with her personal blog No Holding Back, (katbiggie.com). Here she chronicles topics including health and wellness, living with autoimmune diseases, and most importantly, her grief after the loss of one of her twin daughters to complications from Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS). Alexa took the experience from that painful life event and channeled it into a compilation book for grieving mothers entitled Sunshine After the Storm: A Survival Guide for the Grieving Mother. She has also been published in two anthologies, The Mother of All Meltdowns and The HerStories Project. Alexa enjoys writing articles about parenting and children’s health and wellness topics for regional parenting publications and online magazines. In her “spare” time, you can find Alexa enjoying time with her girlfriends or hiding in her closet for some “alone” time.


You can follow Alexa here:


http://katbiggie.com/

https://www.facebook.com/NoHoldingBack1212

https://twitter.com/katbiggie

Kerry Rivera


Kerry Rivera is a full-time working mom of three kids with a to-do list that stretches to “infinity and beyond.” Between a demanding corporate gig, the nightly homework and kids’ activities, and managing a household with her full-time working husband, she blogs about the “juggle” at BreadwinningMama.com. Her career journey started in the newsroom trenches and has since transitioned to working for one of the largest global automotive companies. She additionally writes for corporations, government agencies and brands in her “spare” time, and especially enjoys sharing the joys of modern parenthood around the web. Her love for content creation is only trumped by her love for content consumption. Her Kindle and nightstand are equally full, and a stack of magazines can be found in every room of the house. As a Southern California native, she takes advantage of the outdoors, enjoying both the beaches and mountains with family and friends, and loves to caffeinate with Starbucks Refreshers and Coke. She aspires to perfect a handstand in yoga, but is still working on touching her toes.


You can follow Kerry here:


http://breadwinningmama.com

https://www.facebook.com/BreadwinningMama

https://twitter.com/breadwinningmom

 

Now go on a get your ebook preorder link here: release date April.26 th 2015. 


http://www.amazon.com/Lose-Cape-Realities-Strategies-Survive-ebook/dp/B00UWCLY9M/ref=sr_1_1_twi_2_kin?ie=UTF8&qid=1427760438&sr=8-1&keywords=lose+the+cape




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Silver Lining

My Mom was a wise woman who always looked on the brighter side of life. Even if I lay my head in her lap overcome with tears, she always had a wisdom to impart. She would say “

“Never be afraid of tears for they are pearls of wisdom of our hearts longing to be whole. Let those tears flow for you are a wonderful and wise child of God.”

It’s comforting to know no matter how bad things can get in life there’s always a sliver lining to a dark cloud. My Mom made sure if we did face trials and tribulations that we prayed our way through it. I have to admit I’ve given in to my stress and felt hopeless at times, but I know if God can bring me to it, then he will get me through it. This is something I’m teaching my son who’s anxiety can prevent him from seeing this silver lining.

 So we pray, sing, and hug our way through his worries. I know that’s what my Mom would want me to do. Everything I learned about being a Mom came from her wisdom. And when her mind started failing and her body followed I abandoned all hope to see my silver lining. Through a time of grief, prayer, recovery, and love of my family and friends I made it through that dark tunnel. I talk to my Mom every day and speak of my memories and share her love and wisdoms with my children. 

It saddens me that my youngest never met her and that his brother was his age when she passed. The silver lining that keeps me going is that they can see my Mom in my face, and as I share my own love for their Grandma. I hold her in my heart and look into the eyes of my precious sons and see her there. It makes me feel special like she’s never completely gone. She comes to me in my dreams and we sit and hold hands and speak through our love and telepathy. She always has a knowing smile that she’s aware of everything that I tell her, as she sees it for her own eyes. 

It’s a gift to feel her presence around me when I see a butterfly fluttering around me or a feather falling from the sky. If I could turn back the clock and relive those memories again of drinking tea and chatting I would be so grateful. Or standing together in the kitchen singing and doing the dishes I would. Every time I hear an Elvis song or an Irish tune I feel her singing with me. 

This is my gift and my hearts longing to feel my beloved Mama’s arms around me again. To hear her laughter, laugh at her jokes, and have her call me honey child just one last time. I know this can only happen in my dreams until we’re reunited together again in the afterlife. I take comfort in my memories and the love and guidance that she bestowed upon me as her daughter and later when I became a Mother myself. This is my silver lining and I’m grateful that I have one to cherish. Until we meet again Mom here you stay in my heart forever and always. 💖

This has been my Sunday confession with More Than Cheese and Beer please checkout her anonymous confessions on her Facebook page of the same name. As well as all the other talent who link up. Thank you. 💗

 

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Surviving, Thriving and needing a #Friendship Revolution

I’ve been struggling lately on being a friend and making friends. With being a friend because I’ve allowed judgement to cloud my vision and heart. Making friends because it’s been easier to stay home when I’m dealing with a cranky preschooler, and chronic pain. Friendships have never been a tough reality for me before now. But add in my age, job transfers, having a child with special needs I found my struggle is real. Plus wanting to hang out in my Netflix pants than be social is a chore. I’ve moved around a lot when I was younger between my parents, Grandparents, and older sibling. I survived all that because I was relatively close by. Except when I moved five provinces away and was the new kid on the block and going to a new school. 

Every town I’ve lived in I’ve been blessed to connect with the like minded people. I still have a very strong connection with the Moms that I meant when I just had one child. We met, supported, and fell in love with each other and our children, on this journey through Motherhood. I know they’re only a phone call, text, or email message away. And we text regularly so we can keep each other in the loop of our lives. I’m happily married Mom of two and my husband gets transferred a lot. In fact this our fourth move as couple and the third for our children.

 Why is it so hard to make friends? I live in a city and not everyone is a stay at home Mom that I do encounter. And some work full time and I only see them at play groups on their days off. Recently I attended a gathering that I read about on Facebook. I didn’t know a soul there but I put on my brave pants and went anyways. I ended up having a great time and finding out that the hostess only lived thirty minutes away from me in my prior residence. 

Now I’m happy to say I’ve made a friend and we have a social meet group where we can post events that are happening or request a get together. I have Mom friends that I’ve met at playgroups, now I’m befriending young married couples. I’ve connected with a Mom who’s son is best friends with my oldest. It’s been wonderful as her youngest is close in age to my own. The one thing that’s ironic is the majority of friendships I’ve made have originated online or in my reality have taken a long time to develop. 

Why is it so hard for me to make friends? I’ve been lonely for a long time and I found myself searching out old high school friends and reuniting with them. It’s been great to reminisce about the good old days and meet their families. They’re very busy so we connect when it’s meant to be. I joined a theatre group these people became my family. We spent two days a week together learning each other’s names, faces, and lines in the play. Come performance time I was with them 4 days a week plus performances on weekends. Now I never hear from them, no numbers were exchanged, only one Facebook friendship requested. I asked myself why is it so hard to make friends now at my age? 

I came to the conclusion that I needed to start a friendship revolution. While I was lonely and spending late nights crying, reading, and writing on social media that I would start to connect with people online. What I found was lonely people with insomnia like me. Through my blog I started to connect with my readers and form friendships. Wonderful, loving supportive people that became my tribe. I refer to them as my bunker family that Punk Rock Papa originated. as a safe place to express our thoughts, share our pages, blogs, and respect for another. I even met two of them as I found they lived close by, and one visit still pending. Even though I haven’t met most of them I have formed a kinship with a kindred soul bond. 

We reach out with love, support, and kindbess, by reading each other’s blog and frequenting each other’s pages. We haven’t sat together in a coffee shop, or passed each other by on the street. But we’ve shared stories of family’s, our children’s successes, and our own private pain. I don’t believe that online friendships originated on social media aren’t real. I never discount the amazing Mama’s and Papa’s that I’m blessed to have in my life. They’ve got me through sleepless nights, early mornings, misbehaving kids, and temperamental doctors. I shared more with them then my own family at times! Why you may ask? Because I could, the door was open and a mutual respect torch was passed from one to another. 

Now I’m very proactive about getting my needs met. I need social interaction in my life whether it’s online or in person. And I recently started to attend some support groups and a parenting family workshop each week. I’ve learned a lot about myself as I’ve shared my life, loves, and struggles. I’ve learned that no parent is an island and we all need love, understanding, and acceptance. It’s what we all crave in life with a great dose of respect on top of this social sundae.  

Since I moved a majority of my friendships are online. Not that I haven’t tried getting to know people in person without a screen. The interactions were either short lived or forgotten about. Recently I attended a support group and all of us Mom’s had the subject matter in common. We talked for over an hour after the meeting ended, sharing stories and getting to know one another. Each commenting that we were lonely and looking for friendships. Then we all went our separate ways without numbers exchanged or a promise to friend each other on Facebook. It was the strangest thing to ever happen to me. I appreciated the conversation but not one person said lets get together again, except me that waved goodbye and said you can find me on Facebook and my blog. 

Life in the city is so different for me this time around. When I had my kids I connected with other Mom’s and their babies through playgroups. Now I connect with them online and then meet up in person to create a friendship. Is this the way of the world now, is it the way life is in the city, or is it just people’s comfort zone levels now? I think it’s a combination of all the above and everything I’ve written about here. It doesn’t deter me from not trying to establish that connection the old fashioned way. Now it’s parks, playgroups, and play dates that have become my social life outside of my screen. I know two people on my block and really that has to change. This may not work for everyone and it’s my own personal, and honest viewpoint on this topic of modern day friendship. I feel like a pinoneer forging on my quest to start a friendship revolution. Who’s with me? 😃

  

I’ve linked up today with some other great bloggers to start a #friendshiprevolution. Follow the hashtag on Facebook and Twitter to read some other interesting blogs. Thank you ❤️ 

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To the woman who judged me #mommitment 

To the Mother who judged me, I lay awake thinking of what you said. How you blurted out your casual comment not knowing it was like a serrated knife to my heart. Or maybe you did know that and didn’t care. It felt like you had an agenda the first time you laid eyes on me. We were on a busy commuter bus, going to the same destination; and I thought I’ll never see you again. But I asked you to back off and you didn’t. This is me wearing my heart on my sleeve and pouring out my pain in that moment. 

The Judgement Bus

How can you sit there and judge me? 

While people just stop and stare. 
I’m shocked by what you said to me. 
I didn’t ask you to share. 
You don’t know me or my child, or what’s his story. 
You just spouted off your ignorance and didn’t even say sorry. 
I was staring at the smugness on your face. 
I said he has autism and his meltdown I wanted to erase. 
I didn’t know what to say as my hot tears stung my eyes. 
I could see you watching my child with disgust, which was no surprise. 
I’ve seen people like you where I have to hold my anger inside. 
Buckle up son, it’s the judgment bus coming through. 
And it’s going to be a bumpy ride. 
I won’t let them see that one shining tear. 
As I could fill an ocean of denial.  Sadness lives here. 

As I look back and read this poem, tears are streaming down my face. I recently became a proud member of The Mommitment Movement, dedicated to putting an end to “Mom Wars.” Its mission is to promote love, acceptance, and kindness instead of judgment. 

I’m adopting the motto, ‘I won’t judge you as a Mom, so please don’t judge me.’ We all came into this world the same way, with a beautiful newborn baby – without an instruction manual. The experience I had on the bus made me realize how much I have to reinforce this positive message in my life. I immediately wanted to hurt her like she hurt me and my pride. My son wasn’t even bothered; just happy to have a seat, and to watch life out the window.  I won’t change my thinking, my thin skin, or the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I will abide by this code in my backyard, while I tend to the flowers I’m growing. I’ll respect your right to tend to your flowers however you see fit. 

After the bus incident, I’m more committed to Mommitment than ever. I can’t change the world around me. I can’t make people accept my son and his special needs. But this is Autism Awareness month, and I can help change his world by spreading more awareness, education, and understanding. Having the force of the proud and powerful Mommitment movement along with a parenting support network behind me, I finally don’t feel so alone on this journey. 

To learn more about this game changing campaign, please read the post that started it all.   

And here you can sign the pledge and be part of Mommittment. ❤️

Next Life, NO Kids
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