Jsack's Mom's Blog

Welcome to my blog where I share my special needs parenting journey with my heart, truth, and love, one story at a time. ❀️

Ten Things of Thankful Successes and Springing Ahead

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I will start out my thankful list by being really honest I loathe the spring time change. I love to sleep, day time naps especially since my youngest son has severe sleep apnea we’re awaiting surgery to repair. Knowing it was coming around the corner of losing that hour filled me a sense of dread. I had intended to change my clocks then my son woke up and needed some cuddles. By the time I got him settled we both fell asleep. Waking up Sunday on my couch and disoriented because I had no idea what time it was is quite a trip. I persevered to get through the day as it was beautiful and sunny and I couldn’t waste a moment of it. So onto to the thankfuls with your co-host of TTOT Fly on our Chicken Coop Wall
I’m thinking of my successes this week on this Sunday where I take 20 minutes for me to write this blog, tuck my kids into bed and get in one last kiss. They’re my biggest successes in life as well maintaining a loving relationship with their Dad. Today was a beautiful sunny day so we went to spend it at the zoo. Laughter, sunshine, and watching the Penguins swim after my happy boys as they played made me giggle and smile. The biggest successes in life are made up of who I love and who loves me. πŸ’–

 

Penguins get very hot when they swim so they cool off by fanning their wings out at their sides.

 
I’m thankful that my family therapy program is going well and there’s been a lot of progress with adjusting and changing troublesome behaviours. I feel more confident about keeping myself in check and not overreacting and letting a trigger affect my progress with a difficult situation. I’m noticing the good and ignoring minor behaviours and dealing with major ones immediately. 

I’m thankful for the consistency, calm approach, and compassion that I’ve been able to tap into have been the greatest keys to our families success. We’ve been having regular family meetings and checking in with each other to talk about our feelings. Each of us feels heard and understood and then we usually play a board game or Wii after. 

  
I’m thankful for being consistent and getting four workouts in as well as some resistance training and yoga to build and stretch out my overworked body. It’s been a long slow recovery with my neck injury in January due to how stressed my central nervous system was. I’m happy to say I’m back to feeling 90 % better and know I’ll be back to more cardio and strength training soon. 

I’m thankful I did take the time to rest and recuperate when my body said enough. I’m not always the best at slowing down because the routine and nervous energy has been something I’ve thrived on. I’m learning daily what I can and can’t do and running on empty in my food fuel or emotional tanks is detrimental to my well being. 

  
I’m thankful that I started a new parenting group and I’ve met some like minded parents looking for strategies and I’m refreshing skills that I haven’t been using. I also attend a support group for parents of anxious kids and it’s been a tremendous support and lifeline for my family and I. One major thing I’ve learned is how difficult it is to have my mind and body in a fight or flight response. As well as anxiety lies to us and we are the truth of our feelings. Taking the six second approach to engage my senses I’m able to help myself and my children go from intelligent brain to primal. 

I’m thankful for beautiful weather and I got outside to do walking everyday this week. The sunshine’s an elixir in my life and I feel so much better if I get my vitamin D fix. It always feels better when I walk and I’m able to clear my head when life situations overwhelm me. I see and hear messages that I wouldn’t by being preoccupied. 

 

Angel wings in the sky

 
This week marked a very special occasion as my cousin’s daughter turned one! I’ve written more about her story last year Here and the challenges this sweet baby girl faced. With an incredible, tenacious, Mom with the strength of a warrior guiding her through life and a patient hard working Dad as well a ton of love and support I see nothing but success for Amazing Grace. 

 

Photo courteousy Love by Krista Evans and used with permission

 
I’m thankful that my son had a fun game to round out his hockey season. Both Atom and Novice teams were matched up and the kids had a blast playing against each other. Next season most of them will be reunited on the sane team as Atoms. I’ve come to know a few of these players and their families and my family and I feel blessed to have made some amazing friends. 

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I’m thankful for visiting with my friend, chatting over wine, and enjoying some relaxation in my hot tub. As a special needs parent my days are busy with therapy lessons, school, hockey, and medical appointments. When I put those things all aside and focus on my self care the results are positive for all my family. I feel better knowing I’m taking care of myself and my happiness and that makes me a better person, Mom, wife, and sister! 

I’m thankful that I dropped all of the housework chores and took advantage of a beautiful +15 sunny day. We went to the zoo and had a fabulous time. I watched my kids interacting with the Canadian geese who were almost domesticated with how tame they were. A few of the exhibits were closed due to maintenance and the gorilla family were celebrating a new baby. We were able to see a live cam of the Mama and her little baby cuddling. It melted my heart and made me think of how I cuddled my own growing precious son’s. We’re really not that much different from animal kind and human kind when we all are united in love. 

A Mother’s love πŸ’–

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My little box of memories

I like to think I’m a juxtaposition of a person I can be soft and gentle with my words and actions, and tough and hard when I feel I’m wronged. I was raised to be strong, speak my mind, and stand up for myself. My parents recognized a tenacious spirit in me when I was very young. I have been a right fighter most of my life. Now I ask myself do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy? 

As a child I could stay awake for hours on end while my poor Mom was sleep deprived and living on pots of cast iron tea to function. This is when four tea bags are added to a tea pot and left to steep all day. My Dad worked long hours as a logger and he would be up getting ready for his work day at midnight. I would still be wide awake partying in my crib. 

He would come into my room and tell me it was time to go to sleep and I would wail even louder. As I got older his attempts to put me to bed became more futile as I had language and comprehension. I would say “Daddy you just go away and mind your own business!”He would walk out shaking his head and say “that bloody kid is lucky she’s cute!”

These are the memories I store in my memory box in my mind. My parents died awhile ago and pictures I have in my memory bank are all I have left. I rely on my older siblings recounts of my childhood and a box of slides to preserve these precious moments in time. I remember when I was young how much I loved to set up the projector to have a slide show as all the happy times came to life on the white sheet pinned to the wall of the living room. The pictures would paint a lively account of the trips we took, birthday parties, baseball games, weddings, and church events. 

Now I store my memories in a special box that keep on my beside table. Inside are pictures of my loved ones,their funeral Mass cards, poems, prayers, and trinkets that they gave me. I have the first story that I ever wrote with my Mom and the first song I wrote for her. I have my Dad’s pins from Lion’s club that he was proud to be a member of for over 30 years. I have a pair of earrings and necklace set from my Gram and Grandpa that they gave me for my graduation, and a old travel sewing kit of my Grandpa’s from the war.

 Each time someone I love passes on I add to this little box. It helps me perserve the love I have for them and keep them alive in my heart. I take them out from time to time when I’m feeling low and in need of a lift from angel wings. I hold them, absorbing the love, energy, and every precious memory I have of my time with them. I feel comforted through my tears as they overcome me with emotion flooding my thoughts, feelings, and actions. 

This little box is my gift I give to myself to pick me up when I stumble and forget how to fly. 
This is a special keepsake that I can pass down to my children when it’s my time to have the special things I’ve given them to place in that box. I’ve written them letters of how I became their Mom and the joy that they have given me with that privilege. As for now I open that box and lovingly hold those memories close to my heart so I will never forget the people who made me who I am today with their presence in my life. I thank them for the gift of their love, light, and guidance. 
  

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Writer’s Quotes Wednesday

   
This is all of me on flex Friday submission to Silver Threading for Writer’s Quotes Wednesday. This is the place where I seek solace and inspiration. Please check out all the talent that resides there. Thank you. ❀️

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Part 2 #Taking Back Me Fitness Challenge

Here’s the continuation of Part 1 of the Taking Back Me challenge that Tracy on the Rocks and I are embarking on. We have lots to share, read on dear followers. πŸ˜ƒ

Continuing my answer from the question:

 What strategy do you intend on utilizing to reach your goals?

 Jsack Mom: I will be using the Beach Body on demand program with access to various workouts. As well as recipes, meal plans, and fitness nutritional products. I also have my fitness challenge group who keep me accountable, inspired, and motivated to keep to the course. I’ve also downloaded this app called Happify that is working on keeping me positive and eager to meet my challenges each week.I’ve also downloaded this app called Happify that is working on keeping me positive and eager to meet my challenges each week. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: Accountability!

For nutrition: My girlfriend who I am doing the Medifast through will check up on me with the eating. I also downloaded β€œMy Fitness Pal” app. 

For exercise : My friends at work with yell at me if I don’t come to boot camp and or yoga, and encourage me while I am there. 

Specifically, I intend on losing 2lb/week through the Medifast meal plan and exercise. 

 What are some challenges you anticipate facing in the upcoming weeks?

 Jsack Mom : My biggest challenge was in this week I started the Beach Body 21 day fix program and after lunge overload I tweaked my old back injury. So I’ve been able to follow the meal plans but not workout. I was saddened and frustrated but I’ve taken the time to rest, ice, and recuperate. My coach has been wonderful and encouraging as well as my fitness challenge group. I feel very blessed and motivated to get back up on the workout horse as I’m feeling a little better as the swelling has been dissipating. This time I will be smart and I won’t be the “go big or go home” mentality. 

Tracy on the Rocks: My biggest challenge is going to be laying off the wine.  And trying not to whine 

too much about the hard workouts. Also, being impatient about seeing results. I want to be skinny RIGHT.NOW. Dammit!! ha 

What is your Plan B if you fail on this challenge?

Jsackmom: I won’t fail, even with this physical set back with my back injury.  I’m still eager to get back into working out at a moderate pace while I gain strength and endurance. And fix this muscle imbalance between my abdominals and low back region. I’ve incorporated more stretching and yoga in my rest days as well. 

 Tracy on the Rocks: There is no 

Plan B!! I won’t fail!!! 

So BOOM there it is (as my coach says) Tracy on the Rocks and I will be keeping each other motivated, accountable, and updating our progress here each week. Stay tuned my dear readers, because we’re going to rock this #takingbackme challenge. πŸ˜ƒπŸ’ͺπŸŽ‰

We will be back next week updating you dear readers on our progress. And if you’d like to join in with us please do. 

#takingbackmechallenge

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Fridays Feats and Fails

It’s Friday one day closer to the weekend and wow what a week it’s been!!! I’m excited to share it with you. So let’s get to it shall we? I’m so happy and honoured to be co-hosting Friday’s Feats and Fails with the awesome Ash from http://www.morethancheeseandbeer. This is a new adventure for me so I feel giddy with excitement. πŸ˜ƒπŸŽ‰πŸ’ƒ

FEAT-Amazing Grace

My beautiful cousin brought her baby into the world and I haven’t stopped crying since! Amazing Grace was diagnosed in utero as having mosaic triploidy. According to Wikipedia.org research Triploid syndrome is an extremely rare chromosomal disorder. Individuals with triploid syndrome have three of every chromosome, i.e. a total of sixty-nine rather than the normal forty-six chromosomes. There are only sixty recorded cases across the world. Thanks to the research I found on http://www.mommiesofmiracles.com I’m understanding a lot more. These children are blessings, and although there genetically different abled, they are beautiful gifts to the world. 

A Mother’s Love πŸ’—

Amazing Grace was brought into the world on Tues, March. 10 th at 6:04 am she had a healthy delivery and Mom and baby have been doing well. Grace had a defect with her heart diagnosed in utero and no one has known how long she would be earth side. After receiving a heart scan yesterday my cousin was happy to report this morning, that there are NO signs of the defect!!! God is creating miracles for my family daily as Amazing Grace has been defeating the odds against her since her conception. Just yesterday she opened up her eyes for the first time her Uncle held her. Oh and what a beautiful moment that was!  There has been an amazing photographer that has been capturing Grace’s journey with her Mom and Dad. All images are by Love by Krista Evans Photography and she and my cousin have allowed me to share them with you today. πŸ’•

A Father’s Love ❀️

I read all the updates eagerly each moment that my cousin posts them. Today Grace will have a brain scan as she was also diagnosed with agenisus of corpus callosum. According to research from Wikipedia.org (ACC) is a rare birth defect (congenital disorder) in which there is a complete or partial absence of the corpus callosum. It occurs when the corpus callosum, the band of white matter connecting the two hemispheres in the brain, fails to develop normally, typically during pregnancy. 

Amazing Grace is being tested and evaluated in preparation to going home! She’s  classified as a strong baby, despite the disorders and her early arrival of eight days before her due date. The amount of love and prayers that are surrounding Grace and her parents is incredible! Thanks to Krista at Love by Krista Evans Photography 12,000 people have seen my family’s pictures. To me that means that 12,000 people are joining in prayer power! You can view Krista’s amazing body of work here:

https://www.facebook.com/lovebykristaevansphotography


The love, pride, and powerful energy emanating from this family fills my heart to the brim. πŸ’–

FAIL

I’ve been keeping as positive as I can considering how precious life really is. And my own son has to undergo genetic testing for Fragile X and ASD. According to Wikipedia.org Fragile X  is a genetic syndrome. Nearly half of all children with fragile X syndrome meet the criteria for a diagnosis of autism.[1] It is an inherited cause of intellectual disability especially among boys. It results in a spectrum of intellectual disabilities ranging from mild to severe as well as physical characteristics. I’ve had my moments when I’ve dissolved into tears, yelled, cursed, and locked myself away in my pity party of one.

My incredible family has shown me I can have those moments but I just can’t unpack and live there. So other than not cleaning since last weekend, not keeping up with folding my laundry as that relentless bitch is owning me. I’ve been enjoying the sunshine, adventuring with my kids, and counting my blessings. And really appreciating the miracles in life like Amazing Grace’s journey with her phenomenal parents. The strength they’ve shown has been remarkable. In my cousins words to prepare for a life half way through pregnancy, then a possible death, back to preparing for her baby’s life is an extraordinary blessing. I know God will continue to watch over and bless them as they are all miracles of the heart.  πŸ’ž

Amazing Grace.πŸ’–

FEAT

My Captain’s hockey play off round ended for him last Saturday. It was a disappointing loss with some questionable referee calls that ended in a 2-1 loss. It was an exciting game, but I’ll be honest and say this part of being a hockey Mom really sucks. It was so hard to see those disappointed expressions on those sweet children’s faces. They played a great game though and they still have their practices, parents against the kids game, and windup party to look forward too. It was Father son time the next day as my husband took our Captain to work. They both looked so handsome as they dressed up in a shirt and tie. I haven’t seen my son dressed up since his first communion last year. It struck me how fast he’s growing up! I’m so proud of his accomplishments on and off the ice. ❀️

I have so much pride for my Captain and his team. πŸ˜ƒ

We also had a major accomplishment as my little Mad dog and I attended the play group specifically for children with special needs. He loved it there as it was fun and manageable with a small group of kids. The most touching moment was when my son thanked me for his happy. I was in awe of him and his gift of understanding in the moment. After the group we attended the indoor playground and he did very well being around more children and some noise. We were both happy to nap when we got home. 😴

“Thank you for my happy Mommy.”

So here we are back to Friday and since our Netflix is M.I.A. due to Mad dog resetting all the information we’ll be watching movies. My wonderful husband picked up Night at the Museum for family movie night and Mocking Jay Part 1 for after they go to bed. Thank you for being here today and please check out everyone else’s post who links up today. πŸ’•

That’s my Friday’s Feats and Fails how’s your week been?

This is going to be an amazing weekend of watching the currents and the classics. πŸ˜ƒπŸŽ‰


It’s link up time! Don’t mind the HTML code I couldn’t convert it back to text just click on the link below that say inlinkz. πŸ˜‰

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Pink shirt day

This has been my submission to https://lindaghill.com One liner Wednesday. Today I support anti bullying awareness and advocate for my children always. πŸ’ž

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Sadness

I’m so relieved I got through this day. I had two hockey games, six trips back and forth and stressful moments. I was finally home and then I went for a nice walk with my sister. We talked about life, love, and memories of our Dad.

He died six years ago today and I don’t know how that time passed. It felt like it stood still for me for a long time. I hold my breath waiting to exhale and heal from this grief. One thing I know is it takes one day at a time. And with great love comes great sorrow. I wonder who I’ll be without the grief, will I even recognize myself? All I know is I keep on living and being the best me I can be. And with that knowledge I know I honour his memory and heal my heart a little more each time.

So I’m thinking of him and enjoyed a nice dinner with my lovely sister and niece, and we toasted to him and all our wonderful memories. It’s so hard just having the memories to cherish, and not the person to hold. So many days, months, and years have passed and I found myself hanging onto precious moments. As they’re all I have now, which hurts more than having to say goodbye.

I pray I don’t forget his laughter, as he had a belly laugh that started at his toes and lifted you up in love and delight. He could curse a blue streak and smile mischievously, he could whistle a tune of anything he heard on the radio and know it by ear.

He loved with a heart as vast as the ocean and would give his shirt off his back to anyone who needed it. Even if it left him naked, and cold. He loved to be helpful and kind, and it’s from him that I learned to pay it forward regardless if there was any reciprocation. He gave with every ounce of his being and still wanted to give more! He taught me what it was to be a humanitarian and see the big picture of things instead of judgement.

I love, miss, cherish, and admire the man he was and the man he was becoming. Thinking of my Dad inspired this poem. Hugs to you in heaven Dad. I know it’s a better place up there with you in it. ❀️

This has been my submission to
https://lindaghill.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/wp_20150130_009.png for her Saturday Stream of Consciousness. The prompt was the opposite emotion. I chose the opposite of happy and wrote about sadness.

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Solid

It’s no secret that I haven’t felt emotionally solid. The bullying, anxiety, and raging emotions my son has been experiencing has taken its toll on me. Trying to keep him calm and sensory regulating his little brother has become my full time job. Not that I think caring for my kids is my job, it’s my joy and privilege to be their Mom. With a lot more emotional balancing there doesn’t leave a lot of time for me. So I try to take care of myself as well as I take care of my family. One thing I’m very grateful for is my husband. He’s my sounding board for all the research I’m learning, he’s my team mate when I’m struggling and he tags me out and jumps into the ring of life. He holds me so close as my tears fall and threaten to never stop. I’m so thankful that our marriage is rock solid. I have some amazingly solid friendships in my life. These friends have been by my side through my grief, through a premature birth of my son, and 2 job transfers in less than 3 years. These phenomenal women are my rock solid support they love me, respect me, and accept me as I am. I’ve been a solid friend as well supportive, inspirational and comic relief when needed. I know whatever town I’ve lived in I can call on a friend who will be there for me. I’ve been through a lot, and I truly believe that whatever doesn’t kill makes you stronger. I’ve come to realize that I am more powerful than I give myself credit for. I’m starting to learn not to underestimate myself, as there’s too many people in the world that will do that for me. This has been a busy week preparing for Halloween, hockey, and today my Captain’s birthday. I haven’t felt that I had a solid plan other than just holding it together. After all the stress he’s been through in the last while I wanted him to have a solid fun day. We bowled, we danced, we played arcade games, and air hockey. The creeper cake was a big hit, and the presents, and time spent with his friends and family were the special part of his day. I’m so happy he got to feel so loved, appreciated, and has some rock solid friends of his own to cherish. Happy birthday to my Captain, I thank you for solidifying my love for you the first moment I laid eyes on you.

This has been my Sunday confession brought to you by Ash at http://www.morethancheeseandbeer.com. Please check out her confession and all the other amazing talent that link up.

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Resilience

I tend to think of myself as a resilient person. I didn’t always think that way though. I thought in the past I was more a victim of my circumstances then a survivor. I’ve loved, learned, and lost and yet I keep, keeping on. Recently I’ve had to take on the role of being a solo parent. A term I’ve borrowed from the amazing Mommy blogger Jen Pinarski. I’ve had to endure many months away from my hubby as he moved away to start this new life in a new city. In the meantime I’ve become the be all and end all to my kids. Dealing with their fears, lonliness, and anxiety while missing their Daddy. And putting my stress, sleep deprived nights, and my own feelings on hold. This is what Moms do, we are rock stars in our concerts of life. I’ve dealt with my sons life altering diagnosis’s and I’ve held my precious little boy in my arms and prayed for God to help him. I’ve had my heart beating on the outside of my chest getting broken, bruised, and bleeding while I’ve gone to Doctors and specialists that tell me they can’t help him. I’ve handled (although without patience) my oldest sons emotional tantrums with missing his Dad, being bullied at school, and anger at me because I’m the only one here. I have family they’re supportive and loving but they don’t know how my heart breaks when I see my precious children in pain. I have friends that help but they have their own lives that I don’t want to burden. I’ve had the death of my parents in my world shatter my heart as I still continue to find ways to work through my grief. I’ve sat with nothing but a bottle of wine to keep me company and cried buckets of tears for all of this and more. Do I feel sorry for myself? Do I think I can live and fight to face another day? No, I’m not sorry, I’m living the life I’m supposed to. And yes I did deep, and drag myself around living the life of a “Mombie.” Why do I do it, why don’t I just pull the plug and move away? Because I’m resilient, I’m there for my boys when no one else is, no matter if they rage at me because I’m a safe place for their anxiety. I still find ways to bring them fun, adventure, and most of all love. And becoming more dependent on myself than anyone else has taught me more love, self respect, and appreciation for the person I am. I’ve pushed past my own anxiety and discovered a strength I didn’t know existed!!! Some people would’ve pulled the pin of this life after all I’ve been through. Not me, I’m feeling the fear and doing it anyways. Here’s to all of us fear fighters, resilient rebels, and brave beauties because without us the world would be deprived of some bad ass super rock stars. πŸ˜ƒ
This Sunday confession brought to you by a rock star super woman herself
<a href=” http://morethancheeseandbeer.blogspot.com/p/how-to-participate-in-
Check her and the other rock star bloggers out. πŸ’—

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