What if Wednesday- What if I was a mythical creature?

Well I debated whether I’d write anything today for so long that now it’s Thursday. Face palm, would’ve, could’ve, should’ve. Anyways today’s topic is What if I was a mythical creature so I digress here we go. What if I was a fairy an able to fly and protect the earth from mankind’s destruction of our natural resources?You know like the movie Epic, if I could be a bad ass and ride a bird like my own private plane and keep watch over our forest, lakes, and mountains. What if I had supernatural powers like a vampire, werewolf, or succubus with super psychic abilities and could read minds, predict future world events, and make a killing in sports or at the stock market? You know a modern day creature of the night living off the blood of humans, stalking potential victims, and be a honest tax paying citizen. At least if I was a vampire I could hang out and enjoy my wealth while avoiding sunlight and of course Buffy the Vampire Slayer. What if I was supernatural mythical creature would I still have insecurities, phobias, or learning disabilities? Would I sit introspectively and wonder why life was difficult, what was the meaning of true happiness, or would being super powerful forgo all those idiosyncrasies? Would I still feel free to dance, to sing, to do anything? Who and what would I be? Maybe a combo of all 3 mythical creatures a Fairy-Vamp-Sucking-Werewolf. Or just simply all powerful me, but better 😉

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Friendship

What does friendship mean to me? Well it means being loving, caring, genuine, and kind to others. I’ve been fortunate enough to have some amazing friendships in my life. I have 2 sisters that have been my best friends in my life, as well as 2 step sisters. The friendship that touched my life above all others was the relationship I had with my Mom. She will, was, and always shall be my best friend. My Mom taught me to love with all my being, be myself, and always seek the very best in life. She taught me to not let anyone ever not let my star shine. And she nursed my broken heart after I let people into my life who didn’t treat me kind and always said “don’t worry honey child, what goes around comes around.” I had a very loving relationship with my Gram as well. She was a fun, feisty, loving, little Irish Canadian woman who had the biggest heart, sharpest wit, and busiest kitchen. She would spend hours cooking and baking and pouring out love and great wisdom to myself, my siblings, and her Grandchildren. And her wonderful sage advice was “that nothing was greater in life than having the love of your family, a hot cup of tea, and laughter.” I’m so grateful that I had these wonderful women in my life to experience what true friendship means. Now I’ve always thought I had to recreate those friendships in my adult life and I couldn’t understand why people didn’t always treat me the same. And I spent wasted tears over friendships that have gone south by me giving too much to the wrong people. My Dad’s advice was simple “don’t be a bitch, take care of yourself, and always put your family first.” My Mom’s advice was “love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.” And every time I find I’m repeating the same pattern of giving too much, and receiving so little, I remember their wise words and I realize that I had the joy, love, and honesty of their presence in my life and really, that’s the best gift of friendship.
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Pet Peeves

I’ve been thinking a lot lately and shuffling through life and I find I have a lot of pet peeves. I thought I can’t be the only one who has those certain things that bug the hell out of me so why don’t I share them. Buckle up lovelies, this might be a bumpy ride. Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times because the bitch express is about to leave the station. My # 1 pet peeve lately is when my kids don’t listen. Or they don’t think I’m listening or understand something so they yell at me even louder!!! I’m not the type of parent who says if you do that, or say that one more time…. if it’s done once there’s a reaction guaranteed. I blame my impulsive nature for that, and the fact that I’m allergic to bullshit. 😜 My pet peeves for others children not listening or talking back bothers me as well. Please don’t think I’m a “perfect parent” sitting upon my high horse spouting wisdom. As that’s far from me, and perfect parents don’t exist in my humble opinion. It’s just that back in my day (I’m really showing my age here) I could never get away with a lot of things today’s kids say to their parents. Yesterday at the park I listened to this Mom tell her sons they could slide 2 more times then it was time to leave for lunch. These boys were sliding down the slide and the little one was bouncing on his brothers back and smashing his face in the sand time after time. The big boy was having fun in the beginning then he was seriously getting a beat down as his younger brother got more rambunctious. I watched them continue sliding at least 12 more times as their Mom continued with the warnings. If that was me, I’d be losing my shit with my kids because I get very temperamental when I get hungry and lunch is waiting. Hunger + anger gives birth to the “hangry” monster and these boys didn’t care that their Mom was suffering. The fact that it was Opposite Day as the Mom was a Caucasian woman with a Jamaican accent was reason enough for me to stare. And folks in my small corner of the world I just don’t see that everyday. So to see her not trying to get angry but still issuing warnings to her sons with this amazing accent was cool. So I put on my people watching specs and enjoyed the show. I overheard a lot of other kids reactions to their parents cues to leaving the playground no!!!! I’m not going, you can’t make me, can we just stay a little longer? Which is a normal reaction to not being able to play a little longer but the tone and absolute defiance was what surprised me. As it seemed to reach epidemic proportions as the waves of defiance from the sliding boys wafted around the playground. So you may ask what I did to get my kids out of the bratty crossfire? I got them the hell out there by telling them they’d get eaten by the “Hangry” monster. And I’ll be damned it worked, and with that the bitch express has arrived safely at her destination. Score Mom with 1, my kids 0. 😉
Today’s Sunday confession submission is for the brilliant blogger
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Motherhood

Here’s a confession I have on a Sunday morning I’d like to share with you all as today is officially Mother’s Day. Well here it goes, I don’t like Mother’s Day. So considering this is the mecca of Motherhood I tend to stick out like a sore thumb on this topic. I used to like it, when I had a Mom alive but now it’s just a crushing reminder of what I’ve lost. Now don’t get me wrong I love that my kids think it’s a special day so I make the effort for them. Really there’s nothing better than opening up a homemade gift that my big boy made for me with pride. And I did enjoy making my Mom’s day gift that my little boy will present to me tomorrow. He knows I love to craft while he plays with the cars at play group, so it’s a win/win for both of us. It’s just hard for me when almost everyone I know has a Mom to celebrate. That they can buy a gift for, share a meal with, and give the biggest hug. I don’t have any of that anymore and to be honest it really, really sucks. It’s been 3 years and 3 months since my Mom left the earth. I was 8 months pregnant with my second son when it happened. I had a 4 year old son that needed me his Mom, and I was grief stricken. I stumbled through and somehow made it through my first Mother’s Day without my Mom. By then I had my beautiful baby all be it prematurely, and everything felt so surreal as I was still used to being pregnant! I remember saying out loud how it felt like it was someone else’s life and why couldn’t my Mom be there to meet my precious newborn baby and see all the new things my incredible, curious, loving, son was doing and saying. I just felt gypped, I was the youngest of 6 kids and I got the shortest amount of time with her. My Mom was a truly remarkable women she taught me how to love, laugh, and be myself with no apologies. She taught me how to sing, dance, and be proud of my Irish roots. She told me stories using different voices for the characters and thus began my love reading and of the dramatic arts. She grew up painfully shy as a only child and was unfortunately teased. So she always encouraged me to be strong, independent, and find my voice at a young age. She attended every school Christmas concert I was in and cheered proudly if I sang a solo or played the part of a Christmas tree. She had a deep love of God, her children, Grandchildren, and Great Grandchildren. She loved to dress up fancy, entertain friends, make little tuna sandwiches and drink copious amount of Red Rose tea. And how she loved to sing, anything she was doing she’d break into song. It felt like during my childhood I was growing up in a musical and I loved every minute of it. She loved her parents with all her being and still called them Mama and Daddy as an adult. They doted on her and her children as she was still their little girl even though she was a Mother herself. She was a fabulous Mom who loved with a fierceness and protectiveness. Like a Mama bear as well as a tender and gentleness. She taught me to love Motherhood by making mine so memorable. All I ever wanted to do was grow up and be a Mom like her. My Mom had an incredible sense of humor and could mimic and impersonate anyone. She was better than TV, always funny and entertaining you never wanted to flip the channel. So after telling you all about what a dynamo my Mom was you can see why Mother’s Day sucks for me. I do suck it up and enjoy it for my kids after I’ve had a good, heart cleansing cry. It’s all part of Motherhood, rolling with the punches and being a rock star for my sons. Who I love and adore more than life itself. Every year I send a balloon up to heaven to my dear Mama to show them how much I loved her and always will, and so they can honor her memory. I miss my Mom like the flowers miss the sun, I miss not only the person she was, I miss the person I was when I was with her. I always remember how I’d sit in her lap as a little girl and talk about the world. She would stroke my hair and make me feel like I was the most important person in the world. That was a practice that continued till the day she died. I not only miss the Mom she was to me, I miss how I felt when I was with her. Safe, loved, and protected from the cruelty in the world. Every song I ever sing is for my Mama, every song I ever write is for her, every blog I write is inspired by her. So this Mother’s Day and throughout my Motherhood, I honor this fascinating, amazing, unforgettable woman who gave me life. This special lady I’m proud to call Mom. My love always and forever Mama. ❤️

P.S. I’m participating in my first blogger link up. It’s really exciting for this baby blogger here, so be a doll and check out Sunday confessions. Smooches and thank you’s to you all. 💗
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Sleep Deprivation

Going without sleep does strange things to a person. You begin to forget what day it is as your days and nights merge into each other. There’s never enough hours to even catch up and the mood swings are crazy!!! Odd little scenarios play out in my head “my name Mrs. Bitchy, and I’ll be your bitch today.” After I’ve been sleep deprived for a few days I’ve been known to be the mayor of bitchyville. Everything starts to suffer like my relationships, my household, my projects, and my health. As everything in my world starts to focus on sleep as I count how many hours I get, and how much I’ve lost. I become a “Mombie” living on snacks and caffeine. My kids begin to forget what a fun Mom I used to be as this shell of Mom takes her place. And the guilt I feel is crushing, even debilitating. I want to be able to whisk my kids away with fun and laughter for an awesome adventure. All the things that cause me to have sleepless nights begin to wear on me and my patience runs thin. But then there’s a glorious night when I get more than four hours of sleep and I survive to face another day. So here’s to sleep filled nights, caffiene, cuddles, love, laughter, and happiness. Because without these things my world would be a dark place indeed.

*Update: I wrote this blog awhile ago but didn’t post it. I felt guilty because I wasn’t feeling like the best Mom. Since I wrote it my son was diagnosed with sleep apnea at the tender age of 3. Now I persevere with little rest, always researching, and looking for someone and something to help my son. Power to all parents who advocate for their children. You all rock in my book.

Sleep deprivation

Going without sleep does strange things to a person. You begin to forget what day it is as your days and nights merge into each other. There’s never enough hours to even catch up and the mood swings are crazy!!! Odd little scenarios play out in my head “my name Mrs. Bitchy, and I’ll be your bitch today.” After I’ve been sleep deprived for a few days I’ve been known to be the mayor of bitchyville. Everything starts to suffer like my relationships, my household, my projects, and my health. As everything in my world starts to focus on sleep as I count how many hours I get, and how much I’ve lost. I become a “Mombie” living on snacks and caffeine. My kids begin to forget what a fun Mom I used to be as this shell of Mom takes her place. And the guilt I feel is crushing, even debilitating. I want to be able to whisk my kids away with fun and laughter for an awesome adventure. All the things that cause me to have sleepless nights begin to wear on me and my patience runs thin. But then there’s a glorious night when I get more than four hours of sleep and I survive to face another day. So here’s to sleep filled nights, caffiene, cuddles, love, laughter, and happiness. Because without these things my world would be a dark place indeed.