Green

I’m happy to link up with Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill. Green is a symbolic colour in my family. We’re 1/3 Irish on my Mom’s side so you can imagine how important St. Patrick’s day was when I was growing up. We would say our prayers, honour St. Patrick and have my ancestors recipe of delicious Irish Mulligan stew.

There was one thing that confused me though could a certain colour of green denote danger? I was told if we were to wear Paddy green that it was bad luck. When you grow up with Irish ancestry a lot of superstitions are a part of life so I just didn’t question it.

I didn’t know what shade of green was paddy anyways so I chose not to wear until I was an adult. Then one day my Mom came to visit me and I was taking her shopping. I came out dressed in a new t-shirt I had bought recently and heard her exclaim “oh no you’re wearing paddy green!”

I went back to my bedroom and changed immediately. I know that may make some laugh as I was grown woman. But when my Mom starting making the sign of the cross and praying the Our Father I took this outburst seriously.

After we got to the food court I asked my Mom what was the superstition connected to that particular colour of green. She had told me my Great Grandparents immigration to Canada, tales of the Irish banshee that had a body of a dog and a face like a scary villain out of Grim’s stories. But really paddy green what was the fear of that?

She had explained that when someone in our family had worn the colour that a relative would die. At first I scoffed then I looked deep into her eyes and was ashamed because there was a belief and fear there.

Who was I to question the validity of a belief she held all throughout her life? After this insightful conversation we went back home and I made her a cup of tea and her favourite treat scones, like my Gram used to make. I cherish those memories and keep our Irish traditions alive with my own children.

My favourite thing about St. Patrick’s day is that there’s no expectations on this day. No need to get dressed up and go out to anyone’s for dinner, or get out of your pyjamas for that matter. The only thing you need to do is be happy, drink green beer, and sing Danny Boy.

In my family I make the green pancakes and potato patties like I would have as a child. And for one day out of the year I speak with an Irish accent. I’m putting those years of theatre training to good use. Also it makes my kids happy, and I love to hear their giggles when I break into song and kick up my heels in an Irish jig. I think the world could use a lot more happy traditions so I wish you a Happy St. Patrick’s day and may the luck of the Irish be with you.

Friendship

I find myself seeking companionship lately. I’ve been content with staying in my bubble and carrying on with life yet I’m seeking someone to call a friend. It takes me awhile to branch out socially whenever I relocate. It’s a lot different now as I find I’m not needed as much at my youngest sons school.

That’s where I meet a majority of my friends or through my other sons hockey. I spent so much time volunteering in kindergarten that I knew all his classmates and was the teachers right hand woman. I knew it was bound to happen as he gets older classroom volunteering becomes a thing of the past.

What I didn’t expect was that I would feel so lost without it. I like having the freedom to spend my days as I wish but it felt good to be needed. Now it’s quiet in my home and I fill my days with keeping busy as possible.

It’s always a little anxiety inducing when making friends. As a lot of my friendships start out online. That’s part of my life as a special needs parent. I don’t fit in with a lot of Mom groups as my kids are older and I’m not at any library or play based programs. There was a time when my life revolved around preschool, parks, and play dates.

Also I have a son with autism and ADHD so play dates with typical kids can be tricky. I seek out other Moms who get me and my sons journey and don’t judge. I have these online Facebook groups and they’ve become my lifeline. From autism, rare diseases, genetic and sensory processing disorders there are parents are walking the same or similar path.

I recently met a Mom from one of these groups and it felt so wonderful to just sit and talk about our lives. There’s no judgement, expectations, or even a need to keep the conversation going. There’s no uncomfortable silences as it’s probably the first time we’ve been able to think about ourselves first in awhile. And when someone looks you in the eye and says I get it and I got your back Mama that’s a great feeling.