5 ways to make 2016 my year

Happy new year blessings to you!  I rang the new year in the same way I do every year cuddling with my sleeping children. They try to make it to midnight and watch the ball drop in Times Square on Dick Clark’s Rocking New Years Eve party. Earlier I spent an hour in the hot tub with my husband talking about our goals for the new year. This is a list I’ve come up with as result of that conversation. I’m in restoration than resolution mode as these are ongoing gifts I will be giving myself and my family. 

1. I will love myself more. 

I’ve gone through a lot of self reflection and introspection throughout last year. Every problem, issue, or obstacle that stopped me in my tracks is at the core of my not loving myself enough. I will be changing that from this day forward as I deserve to look in the mirror and say I love you and really mean it! 

2. I won’t let fear hold me back from my persuing my goals. 

I’ve accomplished a lot of amazing things in 2015. Submitting my writing to various websites, guest blogging, growing my blog and social media followings, being accepted into the Wellness Universe community to spread love and positivity, and being published as a contributor in Lose The Cape-(Never Will I Ever than I had Kids). 

  

Available on Amazon Kindle store in ebook and print format

I’m so grateful for these fabulous opportunities in my life! This has been amazing to know I did all these wonderful things yet I know I could’ve done more if I didn’t let my fears and anxiety take over. 

3. I will have faith in myself and my abilities. 

I had a tremendous cheerleader in my life and that was my beloved Mama. After she died I felt a piece of me die with her. She always told me I could do anything I set my mind to. I did do that in the instances I wrote of above, but I had so much fear! I fought through it the best I could but this year I will put faith in God, myself, and the project at hand at the forefront. 

4. I will continue to put my self care as a priority in my life. 

I did this in 2015 which led me to being 30 lbs and 20 inches lighter! I’m very proud of this accomplishment as I learned more about myself on this health journey while getting my stress levels in check. I did this with the help of some amazing people like my coaches on each fitness challenge. Game changers have changed my life for the better and made me a Beach Body Coach. I’m excited to reach even more fitness goals for myself and my family. 

5. I will continue to write out my goal list every day to give me incentive and accountability to keep persuing what I desire. 

I did this for 90 days, everyday for 3 months and my life did indeed change! I was able to start writing my book and work on various other passion projects, be published with the Lose The Cape Team, find an amazing publisher who wants to see me reach for the stars with her guidance and expertise. For my son I was able to secure funding for his therapy team at preschool and at home, and recently got accepted for funding for our family to have respite care. For my husband and I our couple is our goal to make more a priority and stronger in the new year. It’s easy to lose sight of each other as special needs parents. Our children deserve to see us closer, united, and in love more than ever. 

Thank you 2015 for all the life lessons, learning, and showing me I’m stronger physically, mentally, and emotionally than I ever thought possible. Hello 2016 I’m ready for your love, gifts, guidance, and abundance of awesome! 

  This has been submission to the January Blog Hop with Blogs & Business-Mom’s who do it all there are a lot of other talented bloggers who joined in check them and their blogs out today. Thank you! 

January Blog Hop List #1

1. Mrs and Momma

2. Souls Searcher Mom

3. Blessed be the tie

4. Tiggy Poes and Flutterbys

5. Kids Kicks and Cloth

6. Cook with 5 Kids

7. Stay at Home Yogi

8. Harlem Parent Xpress

9. Kids Money Lessons

10. Mommy Gone Tropical

11. Western Newyorker

12. A Kreative Whim

13. Life Lemons and Lemonade

14. Hello Little Bean

15. Sequins in the South

16. Beck List

17. Messy Cutting Board

18. My Dysautonomia

19. Aileen Cooks

20. Jsack’s Mom’s Blog 

Pause

There are moments in time I’d like to freeze as my children are growing up so fast. One tells me I’m the mayor of Crazy Town (in our household it’s a real place) the other asks me such interesting questions about the Mir space station and will Steve Harvey ever host a Miss America pagent again? 

I still remember when they were babies and the circumstances that led up to me bringing them into the world. One two days late and long and skinny and purple as Barney the dinosaur. The cord was wrapped around his neck and his head was too wide to engage down into the birth canal. He had the brightest eyes and watched my every move as fascinated with me as I was with him. Oh how I loved him I knew he was waiting for me all along. 

I have to pause that moment when he squeezed my finger and looked up into my eyes as it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Now he’s 4″8 and soon will be height at nine years old and towering over me by the time he’s licenced to drive. His little brother made his scary and rapid appearance before I had a chance to prepare for it. I knew nothing about early onset labor and all that will follow having a premature baby. 

I have to press play on my memory bank as those two weeks of having my baby in the hospital NICU are a blur of emotions. He came into the world sleeping the OBGYN actually woke him up as he cut him out of me and lifted him over top of the blue sheet. He was like a little loaf of bread all curled up and he made this meowing sound and I burst out laughing. I looked at my husband and said “did our baby just meow?”

Then the whole OR started laughing and it broke the thick as ice tension with the seriousness of my son’s early arrival. He was such a mystery to me and didn’t open up his eyes for five days. Then when he did I felt like I could see all the wonders of the world. My baby had an old soul and he looked at me as if to say it’s ok Mom I’ve done this before. 

The love I had in that moment enveloped me like a warm mist floating through me and all around as I was lost in the swirling rainbow of emotions. I have to pause that moment in time as everything I read about Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet came flooding back to me. 

Your children are not your children.

They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not of you. 

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

For such a young little life he had this wisdom about him and I was captured by it. When we brought him home he completed our family with his gentleness. It took him two more weeks to find his voice as he was quiet and serious. It was like he was taking every moment in of his new world and didn’t want to miss a minute of it to sleep. We settled into our family of four and I went into grief recovery as my Mom had died five weeks prior to my baby’s birth. 

I felt so much guilt because I loved her so much I couldn’t hold onto my pregnancy. I wanted to pause the last moment I had with her as I told her we were expecting again. The warmth in her hands as she squeezed mine, and the glow in her eyes was my most cherished moment with her. 

I know she watches over my children and wants our greatest gift to be our happiness. Cuddling with my husband while watching our kids entertain us with their antics these are the moments I’d love to pause and hold them in their youth a little longer. 

This had been my Stream of Consciousness Saturday with Linda G Hill as part of Just Jot January posting everyday for the month. Today’s prompt was the word pause.