Green

I’m happy to link up with Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill. Green is a symbolic colour in my family. We’re 1/3 Irish on my Mom’s side so you can imagine how important St. Patrick’s day was when I was growing up. We would say our prayers, honour St. Patrick and have my ancestors recipe of delicious Irish Mulligan stew.

There was one thing that confused me though could a certain colour of green denote danger? I was told if we were to wear Paddy green that it was bad luck. When you grow up with Irish ancestry a lot of superstitions are a part of life so I just didn’t question it.

I didn’t know what shade of green was paddy anyways so I chose not to wear until I was an adult. Then one day my Mom came to visit me and I was taking her shopping. I came out dressed in a new t-shirt I had bought recently and heard her exclaim “oh no you’re wearing paddy green!”

I went back to my bedroom and changed immediately. I know that may make some laugh as I was grown woman. But when my Mom starting making the sign of the cross and praying the Our Father I took this outburst seriously.

After we got to the food court I asked my Mom what was the superstition connected to that particular colour of green. She had told me my Great Grandparents immigration to Canada, tales of the Irish banshee that had a body of a dog and a face like a scary villain out of Grim’s stories. But really paddy green what was the fear of that?

She had explained that when someone in our family had worn the colour that a relative would die. At first I scoffed then I looked deep into her eyes and was ashamed because there was a belief and fear there.

Who was I to question the validity of a belief she held all throughout her life? After this insightful conversation we went back home and I made her a cup of tea and her favourite treat scones, like my Gram used to make. I cherish those memories and keep our Irish traditions alive with my own children.

My favourite thing about St. Patrick’s day is that there’s no expectations on this day. No need to get dressed up and go out to anyone’s for dinner, or get out of your pyjamas for that matter. The only thing you need to do is be happy, drink green beer, and sing Danny Boy.

In my family I make the green pancakes and potato patties like I would have as a child. And for one day out of the year I speak with an Irish accent. I’m putting those years of theatre training to good use. Also it makes my kids happy, and I love to hear their giggles when I break into song and kick up my heels in an Irish jig. I think the world could use a lot more happy traditions so I wish you a Happy St. Patrick’s day and may the luck of the Irish be with you.

The Tear

What is it about the passage of time? I’ve heard that time heals all wounds, time passes on and time is short. It’s that tear in the fabric of time that intrigues me the most. Where you can be another version of yourself-someone who is stronger and makes better decisions and takes a different path in life.

Like the actress Gweneth Paltrow played in the movie Sliding doors her character was on the subway platform deciding if she should or shouldn’t get on the train. The director portrayed what would happen with her life if she stepped on the subway and who she was and who she interacted with.

It really fascinated me with the twists and turns within the plot of the movie. It showed me that you do have to be careful what you wish for. As I’m watching this the character in my favourite TV show #Thisisus is replaying the memory track of what his life was like before when he was a high school football star and adored by everyone. Kevin had colleges scouting him, a girlfriend who loved him and a close relationship with his family. Then it all came to a crashing end when he was tackled in the big game and suffered a broken leg.

He still had the beautiful girlfriend (who he would later go on to marry and divorce), a strong bond with his fraternal twin sister Kate, an emerging relationship with his adopted brother Randall, and his parents Jack and Rebecca that were there to love and support him to this jagged tear to his football dreams. Yet Kevin can’t see past any of that as he sinks into a depression that goes on to shadow his life in his current phase.

What would’ve his life been like if he avoided that devastating hit that changed his path forever? Would he have gone on to football stardom and become the proud recipient of the Heisman trophy, married the girlfriend and lived happily ever after? Even though he’s a television character Kevin and his life story is enthralling to me that he went onto to what appeared to be a good life making a successful living as an actor while recovering from the death of his Father, the rock in his life.

How would his life be any different if he would’ve just thrown the football, avoided the tackle and never have to lose his Dad at such a young age? It’s the conundrum I’m sure most of us have encountered at some point on our path what if I would’ve taken that subway train, stayed with the ex or gotten that scholarship to college. It’s the tearing of the dream that we have for ourselves that can hurt the most where we feel the regrets of time we’ve lost and where the what if’s eat us up inside.

Is the grass always greener over on the other side of the fence? Not necessarily, should we all just be living the life of our dreams with no regrets or resentments? I’ve always intended to raise my sons to follow their dreams, reach for the stars and be kind and giving human beings. It’s the life that we live that shows us who are true character really is. Excepting the hand we’re dealt and taking the leap of faith and being who we’re really meant to be that matters the most.

I saw myself becoming a famous actress and singer entertaining the world with my talent. Unfortunately I didn’t have the courage to pursue those idealistic dreams and leave my parents and go off to the big city. I didn’t believe in myself as much as I should’ve and that tears at my heart still today. But who am I to say that my dreams shall just wither and die? I can still realize them just in a different way, by performing in theatre and pursuing my passion for storytelling.

It’s the gift of words that sets my heart aflutter now as I’m passing on that love of reading and writing to my sons. It fills my eyes with happy tears as I sit and listen to my youngest champion son reading about Pete the Cat and his buttons as he acts and sings out every page. When I thought his brain might not be able to make sense of the letters with his autism and mental processing speed. Then as my heart swells with pride when my oldest rock star son starts reading me an essay that he’s writing for school and telling me he wants to be a writer like me when he’s older.

I wish for them not to struggle with their identities or what direction they should go career wise like I’ve done. To be able to avoid the “hits” that happen in life the fair weather friends, bullies on the playground, and young love breakups. If I could I’d protect them from it all but then they wouldn’t be truly living and discovering the world for what it is. Their time shouldn’t be spent wondering what if but really experiencing all that life has to offer them from school, friendships, love, and beyond!

It’s in these moments that I know I found the right path and even though my mind can wonder about the what if’s of the world it’s the life that I’m living being the best me I can be that matters. Not the one who made her way to Hollywood to become the actress of her dreams who may have caved in to all the pressure that a lot of celebrities fall under and resorted to drugs and alcohol as a way to cope.

I would rather be my authentic self who loves who I see when I look in the mirror, that prays with my children every evening for a better world for them to grow up in, and loves my husband with everything in me. That’s the bond of family that dreams, pride, fantasies, or ego can never tear away.

Hotel living 101-special needs parenting

A month ago I embarked on a journey to pack up my truck and my kids and headed out on a new adventure. My husband has been working away for 3 months and after solo parenting, recovery from a broken arm, and listing our house for sale I was done! I counted the days till my kids were out of school and got out of dodge.

Once we arrived tired, sweaty, and dis regulated late at night that's when the real fun began. It was a long trip and after listening to my kids nit picking each other for 7 hours. I arrived disheveled and I needed a time out. I love my children but I was "needed out" and wanted to forget my name was Mom. But who would answer if I don't? My husband was off limits as he was attempting to sleep with working the next day. I went into action mode and set up the pullout couch for the kids. I jumped into my pyjamas and crawled into bed. My youngest son was stimming and in need of sensory input and regulation so we needed to fill that asap!

I walked around the hotel and read books and gave him deep pressure hugs that only his Mama can give. Inside I was praying for him to go to sleep as he jumped out of my lap and rolled around on the floor. I felt the need to explain to the front desk hotel staff that my son has autism and not able to follow the quiet time rule after 10 pm rule. He gave me a nod of understanding and I carried on with my regulation methods.

Finally by midnight my son was sleepy so I put him to bed. Meanwhile my brain was on hyper drive as the events of the day piled up and reduced me to tears. I lay there on the cold bathroom until my crying subsided then fell into bed into a deep sleep.

I woke up in the morning feeling like I had ran a marathon then someone had run me over and left me for dead. I needed to eat, shower, brush my teeth, and unpack. Breakfast was complimentary and a Godsend. My youngest son was fascinated with the pancake machine as he pushed the button an they fell onto his plate. Thank God for these little gifts as this held attention long enough for us to get through breakfast and back to our room.

5 ways to survive hotel living special needs style

*Beforehand research your list of hotel options and book one with pool, gym, and spa facilities. Luckily my husband's company took care of that for us in advance.*

• Swim daily and spend as much time there as you can in order to wear your children out. That includes numerous trips to the water slide and to the hot tub. Water can have a regulating affect on children with sensory disorders if there's no Sensory Defensiveness present and they're comfortable being immersed in a pool.
• Invest some time in the gym. I go there weekly with my kids to work out. Even at the ages 10 and 6 there's machines they can use like the treadmill, elliptical, spin bike, and free weights. It's a wonderful way to feel healthy and deal with stress.
• Provide sensory friendly cut up fruit and vegetables for snacks. The crunchy foods provide the sensory seeking benefit as well as toning the jaw muscles. With my sons hypotonia condition in his jaw this is a huge benefit to his sensory diet.
• Cut back on junk food for snack time. My kids tend to be sponges for everything they absorb like sugar and food dyes. Trust me you don't want a sensory overloaded mind and body meltdown within close quarters in a hotel room!
• In one word Netflix plus additional DVD's, colouring books, crayons, felts, wipe board books, and washable markers on those inside days when you're too tired to move.

Maintain your children's sensory diet even while on vacation. Move as much as possible explore your local parks, playgrounds, and the city itself. On days when the weather's miserable have board games, puzzles, crosswords, and structured time on electronics. I stress this one as you don't need to struggle with the affects of a dopamine crash after a limit is not followed. We also signed up for the Kids Bowl Free summer program and that's fun for the whole family.

My kids became very creative through the pleas of I'm bored and built themselves and indoor bowling alley that kept them entertained for a few hours. They also did some crafts, painting, and worked on maintaining fine motor strength playing with thinking putty and play dough. Our favourite thing to do is play make believe as they pretended they were superheroes and the world was being covered in lava. I watched my kids jump from bed to bed and marvelled at their imaginations.

After a month of hotel living I'm confident I made the right choice to reunite as a family. I wanted my kids to have a fun summer instead of being stressed about keeping a clean house for showings while attempting to sell. Now I spend my spare time reading, writing, organizing housing information and counting off the days till our new homes possession date then the fun starts again with packing and unpacking. Whatever comes our way we'll get through it as being together as a family is the best place to be.

Come to the Voices of Special Needs Blog Hop. A monthly gathering of posts hosted by the http://www.thesensoryspectrum.com/and http://www.thejennyevolution.com/category/voices-of-special-needs/

Click on the links below to read stories from other bloggers about having a special needs kiddo. From Sensory Processing Disorder to ADHD, from Autism to Dyslexia! Want to join in on next months Voices for Special Needs Blog Hop. Click http://www.thesensoryspectrum.com/sensory-blogger

Ten Things of Thankful-Feeling the love

The day of love is upon us as I cozy up under my cozy fleece blanket and cuddle up with my family and feel thankful for the smiles, laughter, tears, and most of all love. Here I am to share my week with the lovely hosts of TTOT linkup while the lovely Lizzi enjoys her travels. 

I’m thankful for the blessing of being here with my family. I think of so many times in my life I didn’t think I would ever realize this dream about becoming a Mom. Now here I am cuddling with my precious boys and feeling full of love and bliss. 

I’m thankful for the beautiful gifts of flowers, a wonderful meal and a lovely card my adoring husband gave to me. He spoiled me in all thewonderful  ways and our son’s treated us to a V.I.P. restaurant experience. 

I’m thankful after a mid season hiatus that season six of The Walking Dead premiered tonight. My husband and I are huge fans and we’ve been counting the days till it was back on the air. I won’t give away any spoilers to any other fans. I will only say that it had everything I ever wanted in an action packed, turbulent, jaw dropping, firestorm of emotional thrill ride episode! 

I’m thankful that the reward chart that I’ve been using with my son has worked out so well. He’s been very helpful and we’ve figured out some of his triggers and ways to work with them. He’s done so well that he’s earned himself a special day out that I look forward to sharing with you next week. 

I’m thankful that he also offered to read to me tonight without me having to ask or beg. He does love to read to himself but not out loud. He enjoys adventure chapter books, Diary of a Wimpy kids comics and the Hardy Boys. He found a Jurassic Park book and was excited to read to me and his little brother. I’ve discovered if he finds something interesting he’ll want to share it with me. It’s a win/win for both of us. 

I’m thankful that my youngest son is finally over his chest cold. My poor little boy has been so sick lately and it tears out my heart to see him struggling with his breathing. Next will be asthma and allergy testing to see if there’s anything underlying with him having a weakened immune system. 

I’m thankful that he’s been able to sleep the last couple of nights. I don’t sleep when he’s not sleeping I just drift in and out of consciousness. I was so exhausted this week I fell asleep at 9:30 pm with a book, snack, and my phone in my hand. That was a restful sleep that was sorely needed and the ability to unplug helped tremendously too. 

I’m thankful for a fabulous Valentine’s Day having a family hot tub soak. It was the perfect day for laughs, making plans, and filling each other in on the events of our week. I love moments like this no matter where we live we always have each other. 

I’m thankful for groceries in my pantry, food in my fridge and a roof above mine and my family’s head. In times likes these during this recession not everyone has one or many of those blessings. I’m grateful for how hard my husband works to provide these for our family. 

I’m thankful for time off for the week. Tomorrow is a province wide family day and my kids are out of school as well for a convention. I’ve planned some down time as well as some fun activities that I look forward to surprising them with. 

  

Pause

There are moments in time I’d like to freeze as my children are growing up so fast. One tells me I’m the mayor of Crazy Town (in our household it’s a real place) the other asks me such interesting questions about the Mir space station and will Steve Harvey ever host a Miss America pagent again? 

I still remember when they were babies and the circumstances that led up to me bringing them into the world. One two days late and long and skinny and purple as Barney the dinosaur. The cord was wrapped around his neck and his head was too wide to engage down into the birth canal. He had the brightest eyes and watched my every move as fascinated with me as I was with him. Oh how I loved him I knew he was waiting for me all along. 

I have to pause that moment when he squeezed my finger and looked up into my eyes as it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Now he’s 4″8 and soon will be height at nine years old and towering over me by the time he’s licenced to drive. His little brother made his scary and rapid appearance before I had a chance to prepare for it. I knew nothing about early onset labor and all that will follow having a premature baby. 

I have to press play on my memory bank as those two weeks of having my baby in the hospital NICU are a blur of emotions. He came into the world sleeping the OBGYN actually woke him up as he cut him out of me and lifted him over top of the blue sheet. He was like a little loaf of bread all curled up and he made this meowing sound and I burst out laughing. I looked at my husband and said “did our baby just meow?”

Then the whole OR started laughing and it broke the thick as ice tension with the seriousness of my son’s early arrival. He was such a mystery to me and didn’t open up his eyes for five days. Then when he did I felt like I could see all the wonders of the world. My baby had an old soul and he looked at me as if to say it’s ok Mom I’ve done this before. 

The love I had in that moment enveloped me like a warm mist floating through me and all around as I was lost in the swirling rainbow of emotions. I have to pause that moment in time as everything I read about Kahlil Gibran’s The Prophet came flooding back to me. 

Your children are not your children.

They are sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.

They come through you but not of you. 

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

For such a young little life he had this wisdom about him and I was captured by it. When we brought him home he completed our family with his gentleness. It took him two more weeks to find his voice as he was quiet and serious. It was like he was taking every moment in of his new world and didn’t want to miss a minute of it to sleep. We settled into our family of four and I went into grief recovery as my Mom had died five weeks prior to my baby’s birth. 

I felt so much guilt because I loved her so much I couldn’t hold onto my pregnancy. I wanted to pause the last moment I had with her as I told her we were expecting again. The warmth in her hands as she squeezed mine, and the glow in her eyes was my most cherished moment with her. 

I know she watches over my children and wants our greatest gift to be our happiness. Cuddling with my husband while watching our kids entertain us with their antics these are the moments I’d love to pause and hold them in their youth a little longer. 

This had been my Stream of Consciousness Saturday with Linda G Hill as part of Just Jot January posting everyday for the month. Today’s prompt was the word pause. 

  

Ten Things of Thankful-Halloween happiness

Tonight was a special night not like any other. I have been waiting for this day to come for a year a chance when I get to go out trick or treating with my kids! My husband and I take turns every year but since I only know four people in my neighbourhood I’m anxious to see who’s really behind those closed doors. Call me curious or nosey but I like to see how people live. I feel thankful that I could participate in this night of spooky fun and enjoy the interaction of my youngest complimenting everyone on their costume. For a little boy who is severely speech delayed and socially anxious it’s music to my ears to hear him conversing like everyone else. 

  
Each door to a house we approached opened up to new possibilities. What kind of candy did our treat givers buy, what were they watching on TV before they arrived, did they have laundry on the couch waiting to be folded like me? Each person opened their doors smiling at my children and I. I had a gangster, Batman, and myself dressed up as Wonder Woman. After about an hour of peril using our block little hands were getting cold and little feet were tired and sore. So we started our journey home to drop my little Mad dog off while the Captain and grabbed some gloves and continued on. 

I saw so many amazing decorations, people dressed up to give out candy, and other parents like me in costume. I’m proud to say that I even got mistaken for a child and got candy too! I had a blast running from houses to house with my son chasing him as I’m a superhero intent on catching the mischievous mobster prolling the neighbourhood. Our neighbour went all out and decorated too and gave him quite the scare. She was dressed up as a bride covered in red paint and was holding a doll dressed the same way. When kids opened the door she put it out first and spooked whoever was standing there. 

When it was my Captain and I, (while his brother was standing and waiting with Daddy) approached the door he was saying something’s going to happen as he eyed up the decor warily. And he wasn’t disappointed when she came out that door he flew off those steps backwards and landed in the yard! 

We sure had a good belly laugh about that and when we were around the corner we could still hear her scaring kids and everyone laughing! I was awestruck by how much fun people were having and it reminded me back in the day when I would be out with my sister and our friends. Those nights were cold, fun, and sometimes uncomfortable in our plastic costumes overtop of our snowsuits. That’s how Canadians trick or treat, buy your costume big enough to fit overtop of your parka! Sometimes we would be up to our knees in snow and we’d be stomping around the neighbourhood in search of candy. 

We ended our night with a pillowcase full of treats and went to our friends Halloween party. As always she’s an amazing hostess and had a delectable assortment of food and hot tea to warm up our bones. We talked, made new friends, and enjoyed seeing the kids playing games and cuddling the cats. We came home with full bellies, warm hearts, and so much thankfulness and appreciation for our Halloween of happiness. 😃🎃👻

I’m so happy to be part of the TOTT linkup hosted by Lizzi and her amazing Thankful tribe. My favourite place to be every weekend.😃  I did write this on Halloween night but didn’t publish till now.

Writer’s Quotes Wednesdays and #Bewow

Inspiration finds me in the most opportune times. I talk about and study neuroscience as the research captures my fascination. I’m never at a shortage of knowledge or picturesque opportunities for growth as I fill my days with wonderful words from poets, philanthropists, personal development specialists, free thinkers, and listening and sharing with the young and amazing minds of my children. Today is one of those days where the words flow, the ideas form, and creativity is ignited. Thank you for sharing this moment with me today as I submit my meme to Silver Threading and #Bewow linkup. Please follow the link and be inspired yourself. ❤️

  

Writer’s quotes Wednesday and #Bewow

My children have a way of making my heart sing and my spirit smile. I love how much they love each other. Here’s an example of that love captured in real time. These balloons have been floating around my ceiling for the last few weeks. So one day my son’s wanted to play with them. Before I could grab a step stool they engineered this plan. ❤️

  
This has been my submission to Writer’s quotes Wednesday and #Bewow the inspiration is abundant here and one of my favourite places to be. 😊

Ten things of Thankful

It’s Sunday and the day I linkup with a beautiful  group of thankful people  TTOT with Lizzi. Since I started this reflective post my life has grown and changed for the better. I’ve begun to appreciate more of what I’ve worked hard for instead of what I need, want, and should have. This has been a very  special eye opening experience and I’ve learned more about myself as the result. Connecting with like minded people have filled my heart with appreciation for their own level of gratitude and how it connects to my own. Because in the end we are all connected with our thread of human spirit. Now onto to my week of thank you’s 😃
1. I’m so thankful for a happy and productive week. My oldest son was in camp and learning about the values of the bible, kindness, and how important it is to have God in his life. 

2. I’m thankful that I was able to connect with the camps leaders that have made a difference in my son’s life. Knowing he was excited to see then each day and learning bible verses and proverbs made me so happy and grateful. 😃

3. I’m thankful that my youngest son was able to attend a camp of his own. And he’s able to reconnect with his respite worker, and we met some other parents with children with special needs. 😊

4. I’m thankful for beautiful summer weather it was a late start with cooler temperatures in May. Waking up to see the sunshine truly is my elixir in life. 

5. I’m thankful for the sunshine but today I’m also grateful for the rain. It has been needed with 34 out of control forest fires in my province. 

6. I’m thankful for the love of my husband. He’s my soft place to fall at the end of a long day, and my biggest and best, cheerleader in my life. ❤️

7. I’m thankful for my children, we hit the jackpot having them join our couple and create a beautiful family. Their laughter, smiles, and I love you’s fill me with so much love and pride it brings tears to my eyes. 💞

8. I’m thankful for early morning and late night hot tub soaks. It feels so good to relax and let those bubbles and massaging jets revamp my tired body and rejuvenate my spirit. 🌟

9. I’m thankful for keeping consistent with my fitness goals. I’m close to completing my fifth fitness challenge and I’m losing weight and gaining strength with each obstacle I face. 💖

10. I’m thankful for being published again this week! This time for my poetry at Blu Sky Collective I’m very proud of myself as I usually write that for my blog. 😃

Please help share in that reader love and check out all the wonderful thankful people that link up each week. 😃

  

Anonymous

There are times I put my ball cap on big sunglasses tuck my hands in my hoodie kangaroo pocket and hide out. Sometimes I do this at home or when I go out so I can remain anonymous. I might even look creepy in my incognito splendour, but I feel safe. I like to people watch there I said it, and this is a way I can do it casually. I learn so much about watching people. There’s an art form to it, a nuance that I appreciate. I don’t stare I just watch how people use their body language, talk in public, how they get absorbed in their “face in their phone world.” 

I have always enjoyed this past time and until now I’ve remained anonymous about it. People inspire me I can think up things to write just from seeing people interacting with each other. Sometimes I take notes while I’m sipping my Starbucks, and word prompts or blog ideas pop into my head. I used to go to parks while I was pregnant with my first and watch parents in action. I watched how they held their babies, what kind of strollers they used, how they cooed and kissed their precious bundles of joy. I enjoyed seeing them in those sweet, candid moments in love with their little family’s. 

I was so eager to learn and take mental notes about what kind of Mom I would be. Little did I know that the biological need kicks in whether you birthed your baby or were blessed with someone’s else’s. I just knew what my son needed whether he was comfortable in a football hold, or too hot from skin to skin and he would push his arms up and away from my chest. I would watch him for hours too just before I fell asleep while he was dreaming away in baby land. 

I could watch his body movements, the way his long eyelashes made his tender baby face look so beautiful. The roundness of his chubby cheeks, and the sweet way he pursed his lips like he was about to kiss me. I couldn’t get enough of baby watching when I had my babies. And I made friends with other Mom’s and I watched and admired their babies as well. My second baby loved to wiggle even when he was sleeping. He was in constant motion right before he’d drift off to sleep. His rosy cherub like cheeks looked like two little apples I could nibble on. His lips were always in a full pout, and his soft blonde hair I would stroke and admire his peacefulness. He was so angelic and since he wasn’t much of a steady sleeper I appreciated these moments even more. 

Watching my children while they slept made me appreciate their beauty, calmness, and the tender years that they were at. And how fast they were progressing as they grew from babies, to toddlers, to preschoolers, and off to Kindergarten and leaving my nest. As they’ve grown this made me want to study them as they play. As if I could capture this time of their lives and bottle it for safe keeping for my memory bank. The voices my youngest likes to use with his superhero characters makes me giggle. And the songs and dances my oldest uses to entertain himself and other amazes me with his talent. I also watch them watching me as I’m reading, cooking, or working out, asking me a hundred questions about what I’m doing, and when will I be done. 

As much as I enjoy people watching I’ve given birth to a couple of investigative people reporters. My son’s will give me updates on our neighbours comings and goings. As well as what his dog is up too, sleeping, eating, or sniffing as he sees my youngest staring at him through a crack in the fence. I have to remind my kids it’s not nice to stare at people in public. A passing glance is long enough and adding a smile if someone looks your way can make yours and their day. I’ve received compliments from other people watchers about my son’s. Which always makes me puff up my chest as a Mommy peacock strutting my parenting stuff. 

I’ve been told by little Grandma’s in the grocery store how polite and cute my kids are. How they must keep me giggling with their antics. I’ve nodded, agreed, and have added “yes laughing and a little hair pulling as well.” I used to feel so anxious if someone was watching me with my babies. Almost like they were trying to see where I was doing something wrong, or I would be judged for not doing something right. Igniting  the whole Mom wars debate that I wanted to avoid like the plague. 

It spoke a lot more to my insecurities then what people thought of me. Usually they just wanted me to hurry up in a line up when deciding what meal to order. They weren’t judging me they just were in a hurry with life. And there I was with my baby smiling away at them from my stroller. I got over that after my children started getting older. Now my oldest is quite a handsome boy with brilliant blue eyes, and an easy smile on his lips. 

He captures attention wherever he goes as he’s kind, polite, and always engages someone in conversation. My youngest he’s equally handsome and adorable, but where his brother is my quiet child he is my loud, wild, child. He is a boy very comfortable in his skin. He has no qualms of telling you his name, how old he is, and inviting  you back to our house for a play date. With him everything is an adventure, something fun and exciting waiting to be discovered by him. I love how he tackles life whether it’s scary or challenging  he wants to take a bite out of that experience. 

There are those days I want to be anonymous when he raises hell with being uncomfortable or panicked about something in his environment. This is something he has no control over with his neurological disorder. If sets him off sensory wise then we have some drama to contend with. Those are the times I want to crawl underneath the table and hide under my hat and dark sunglasses. But I don’t, I’ve taught my kids to never shy away from life. I just do my best to handle the situation and regulate my son as quickly as possible. Then we can leave as quietly as we came in or I can be the people watcher, and say “take a picture to remember us by.” Which actually happened in a McDonald’s as there were a few judgey Mcjuderson’s in attendance. Oh to be anonymous, incognito, say what you say, dream what you dream, feel what you feel without a care in the world, and be free. Now if you will excuse me it’s time for my weekly people watching session at Starbuck’s. 😉

This has been my Sunday confession with the loveable More Than Cheese and Beer. Head on over and check out her anonymous Sunday confessions. And all the lovely ladies who linked up today. Thank you,  smooches. 😘